Karen Miller - My Life as a Sister Wife: What You Dont Know Can Hurt You

My Life As a Sister Wife: What You Dont Know Can Hurt You

Copyright 2018 by Karen Miller - All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, transmitted, or distributed in any form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without specific written permission from the publisher. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher are illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.

The author has tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from her memories of them. In order to maintain their anonymity in some instances she has changed the names of individuals and places, she may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence.

Day Agency Publishing

South Jordan, UT 84009

Print and e-Book Interior Design: Dayna Linton, Day Agency Publishing

Cover Design: Jeffery Olsen

Photo credit: LeAnne Miller

Library of Congress Control Number: Pending

ISBN: 978-0-9998597-5-9 (Paperback)

ISBN: 978-0-9998597-8-0 (e-Book)

First Edition: 2018

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Printed in the USA

MY LIFE AS A SISTER-WIFE: What you don't know can hurt you

Copyright

Author's Note

Prologue

By Way of Explanation

Chapter 1: Let's Start at the Beginning... A Very Good Place to Start

Chapter 2: The Winds of Change Begin to Stir

Chapter 3: Our Journey Begins

Chapter 4: Fun Times

Chapter 5: Moving On

Chapter 6: Detour, Who Knew?

Chapter 7: Beginnings of an Unusual Kind

Chapter 8: Moving Fast and Out of Control

Chapter 9: Sisters and Sister Wives

Chapter 10: Walking Into Plural Marriage...

Chapter 11: Life on the Home Front

Chapter 12: Pride

Chapter 13: New Territory

Chapter 14: Observations

Chapter 15: Greens A.K.A. Dumpster Diving

Chapter 16: Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

Chapter 17: Homeschool

Chapter 18: Jenny

Chapter 19: The Bookstore Era

Chapter 20: One House, Two House, Three House More...

Chapter 21: Pink House

Chapter 22: Grief

Chapter 23: The "Cedar Valley" Property

Chapter 24: The Jubilee

Chapter 25: Butterfield Canyon

Chapter 26: Pretense

Chapter 27: Secrecy and Inuendos

Chapter 28: Seduction of a Dangerous Kind

Chapter 29: Family Council

Chapter 30: Ugly Things

Chapter 31: Holding On

Chapter 32: Midwife Assistant

Chapter 33: Nothing So Complicated as Perception

Chapter 34: The Library

Chapter 35: Pecking Order

Chapter 36: Where to Hide

Chapter 37: Badges of Honor

Chapter 38: The Beginning of the End

Chapter 39: Enough is Enough

Chapter 40: What Made Me Leave

Chapter 41: The Road Back

Chapter 42: Breaking Out of Prison

Chapter 43: What Was it Like?

Chapter 44: Money, Money, and More Money

Chapter 45: We Were Not the Only Ones...

Chapter 46: Andrea's Story

Chapter 47: Last But Not Least

Chapter 48: Conclusion

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Some terms used in my story which will help you understand a little better.

The Order: The religiously based, financially and socially committed, loosely organized number of individuals such as ours.

The Principle: A common name for living plural marriage.

The Property: The parcel of land in the Cedar Valley that Frank was to develop.

For my family, who are my why.

Often, while at the bottom of a dumpster scavenging for food, the thought that I could write a book about this most unusual ritual would enter my mind. Mostly, it was just something you say without any real intention attached to it. Nonetheless, the first tentative steps had begun.

Not until I had left plural marriage, did I give the thought any serious attention. Only after friends and co-workers began to suggest that my story needed to be told did I seriously begin to think about it. Would anyone really want to know about this secret life?

My mind would race through years of memories with their enduring emotions. At first, I would write down random thoughts on scraps of paper and put them in a shoe box, which seemed to be a good place at the time, to await some kind of commitment on my part down the road.

At one time I thought that my journals would be good source material for an inspirational book. All the wives in our family were expected to keep a daily journal. At first, back then, I would write my feelings and perceptions of my experience and interaction with family members. That quickly changed when my then-husband Frank asked for my journal to read.

The problem was that I had written some very personal and vulnerable things. Worse yet, though Frank did not use my name, he betrayed my feelings in front of other people by using them as an object lesson on how a wife ought to think and behave. After that, I wrote only the most ordinary and mundane things with little hint of emotion. The outline of events is there, with some feelings, but not much of a personal nature. However, the emotions came roaring back with startling intensity once I began this memoir.

With the encouragement and assistance of family and friends, this project grew as did my confidence that there was enough material for a book, even if it was small, and that it was good stuff. With no experience in writing, I set about to write and rewrite again. Some thoughts were keepers, some were tossed, some things I felt best left buried in the past. When I felt in need of direction, I would ask friends, What kinds of things would you find interesting in a book such as mine? The answer was always, How did it make you feel?

Some may see this as an expos on polygamy, but quite the contrary, it is simply the telling of how it was for me and how I came to move from its shadow to the fulfilling life I now lead.

It is my hope that this book will reach a broad spectrum of society, delivering the assurance that there is no good reason for anyone to be treated in a demeaning or dehumanizing manner. Everyone should have the reasonable expectation of being treated with dignity and kindness.

When an individual is able to see that they are not being treated properly, and if they can find the inner strength to seek other alternatives, they will thrive. Go, stay, or fight for change. The choice is yours. It will be an arduous journey and a little painful, often slowed by second guessing ourselves and our motives, but well worth the growing pains.