Sparrow R Jones - The ABCs of Autism Acceptance

The ABCs of Autism Acceptance

Sparrow Rose Jones

Owned by disabled workers, Autonomous Press

seeks to revolutionize academic access.

While writing is most often a solitary venture, creating a book requires a community. I would like to especially thank:

those who contributed to the GoFundMe campaign that paid for the solar electricity that fueled writing and editing of this and future books:

Bridget Allen; Elizabeth Bartmess; Colin Bowman; Andrew DellAntonio and the whole Dellakawa household; Karla Fisher; Alex Forshaw; Stephanie Kuipers; Shalia Martin; Caitlin McGuren; Colleen and Alex Rosebaum; Jeanie Schmidt; Sean Roycroft; Stimtastic.co stim toys, chewable jewelry and fidgets for autistic adults and teens (and kids too!); Charla T-H; P.D. Workman; Cathy Wright; and four anonymous donorsyou know who you are. Thank you so much.

I would also like to thank those who hosted me in their homes as I wrote certain chapters:

Sharon DaVanport; Larry Hopkins; Wayne and Carolyn Jones; Beth Ryan and Scott Jacobson; Chris and Jennifer Brown.

Paul Erds is known for saying that a mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems. In that same spirit, I happily turn coffee into books and would like to thank the wonderful local coffee houses where certain chapters found their first form:

CoHo in Pocatello, Idaho; Giddy-Up Coffee & Kitchen in Bellevue, Idaho; The Coffee Grinder in Ketchum, Idaho; Spic and Span Laundry and Coffee in Laramie, Wyoming; Pony Espresso in St. Joseph, Missouri; Mojoes Coffee Bar in Glasgow, Kentucky.

I also want to thank the editing and publishing crew at Autonomous Press, especially my co-editors, Michael S. Monje Jr. and Nick Walker. I also need to say thank-you to:

Carolyn Ogburn, for going above and beyond in helping me promote the ideas in this book,

and the entire Autistic community, for emotional support, collegial discussions, and the tireless daily activism that strives to re-shape this world into a place that not only tolerates difference, but lovingly accepts it.

This book began its life as a self-challenge. April is a difficult month for me because Autism Speaks has declared it to be autism awareness month, which means a month of turning off my car radio because I cant handle the degrading advertisements being played. It means a month of seeing Autism Speaks donation tins in restaurants and coffee shops and having to choose between spending my precious and unpredictable energy on educating the shop owners or quietly leaving and secretly fuming at myself for not saying anything. It means a month of signs announcing charity walks to benefit a charity that drains money from local organizations and doesnt give back to the people it promises to help. April is a month of hearing what a tragic burden on families and society people like me are. And then, after a month of being buffeted by all the messages of awareness, most of the world goes back to quiet ignorance for another eleven months. During the only time of the year most people care about us, the world is filled with negative and inaccurate statements about us.

You see, I am an Autistic adult, so all those messages of despair are about me and people like me. I hear the terrible things that are said about autism and those of us who are Autistic and I have to wonder if the people saying those things believe we dont have feelings. Or maybe they think were too far gone to ever hear what theyre saying about us. But they are wrong. We hear and understand and hurt. And not just Autistic adults, but children too. We hear what is said about us, and it is devastating.

So I wanted to challenge myself to counter all that with messages of acceptance. My goal was to write something every day in April (with one day off per week), working my way through the alphabet as I talked about ways to understand and accept us better. As you can see, I made it through the alphabet, though only about half of these alphabet essays were actually written in the month of April. The end result of that self-challenge is this book, filled with ups and downs, joys and frustrations. This is a book about ways that it is wonderful to be Autistic and ways that the world makes it very difficult for us Autistics to find a place to survive and thrive in it. As I wrote, sometimes I felt myself speaking to fellow Autistic adults, and at other times to parents of Autistic children. Ive tried to keep things accessible so anyone can find their way through these words, even if theyve never been close to Autistic people or the activist movements we tend to gravitate toward, such as the social justice movement and the neurodiversity movement. I wanted this to be a book that was accessible to everyone because autism acceptance only works when we get as many people as possible on board with these important ideas: presume competence, do not try to fix us for we are not broken, help us to live the fullest and most fulfilling lives we can, always remember to include us as the main stakeholders in the decisions that are made about us and our future. There is a classic slogan in the larger disability community: nothing about us without us. We are so often sidelined to be spectators in our own stories. As a result, the Autistic community has embraced this slogan as well. We want to be an active part of the decision-making process. We want to be center-stage in our own lives. It is our right.

If you are outside the borders of the U.S. and reading this book, you may feel it is heavily U.S.-centric. Sadly, you would not be wrong in that assessment. I have tried to write from a more universal perspective, but the truth is that I have lived in the United States all my life. Here is where I have experienced my Autistic life and here is where I have come into contact with legislation activism, oppression, and more. I apologize to my siblings in other countries for being so focused on the details of my own country, but I can only write what I know. I beg all of you to please write about your Autistic lives in your countries, so I can read all of you and learn more about the rest of this wide, wonderful world. I also beg your forgiveness for the parochial poverty of my own limited experiences, from which I write. Please know that my words may not speak of you but my heart does reach out to you in hopes of solidarity all the same. I do not know your world but I value all of you and look forward to your words.

Bring an open mind to this book. You may feel challenged by some of what you read. Some of these essays will make you angry or sad. I hope all of them will move you to action. I want you to challenge ableism. I want you to listen to Autistic people. I want you to help us as we work to make the world a better, safer place for us to live. If you are Autistic, I want you to love and accept yourself for who you are at this moment, and to never give up on yourself in your quest to be the person you dream of being. You will always be Autistic, and that is a wonderful thing. Embrace who you are and work to become the best you can be. The world needs your voicewhether it comes from your mouth, your hands, or someplace else entirely. The world needs your opinions and dreams. But also know that your value does not lie in how useful you are to the world. The world does need you, but that is not what makes you a worthwhile and precious human being. You have inherent value because you are you. There was never a person like you in this world before and there will never be another identical to you again. This is your time on this earth and I want you to always remember that you belong here and that you are a vital piece of the great mystery.