EROTIC POWER
EROTIC POWER
Exploring the World of BDSM
by
Gini Graham Scott
Skyhorse Publishing
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10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
eISBN: 978-1-62873-841-4
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.
ISBN: 978-1-62636-420-2
Printed in the United States of America
Contents
Acknowledgments
I want to thank the many people who helped me in preparing the book. First, many involved in dominance and submission relationships or active in the scene gave me information and advice. A dozen of them read the manuscript and made suggestions, although I cant thank most of them publicly. But to those I can, Penny Sunlove and Layne Winklebleck (aka Mistress Kat and Mouse), I offer my deepest thanks. Also, special thank yous to the many members of the Society of Janus, the SM Church, and the Gemini Society, who offered continuing assistance.
In addition, I received much help and encouragement from many sociologists, anthropologists, psychologists, and sexologists. In particular, I would like to thank George DeVos, Marcello Truzzi, and Charles Moser, who offered their comments and support.
Foreword
W hen I first wrote Erotic Power in 1980, the book was something of a breakthrough. The title of the initial hardcover was Dominant Women, Submissive Men, and that was quickly changed when the book was brought out in paperback to Erotic Power, because it was felt that the description might prove offensive to men who might like be described as submissive.
At the time, the subject of the book was so controversial that many of the major bookstores wouldnt carry it, even though it was first published by a mainstream publisher of both academic and trade books. However, a launch party at a club that then existed in the Potrero District of San Francisco called The Farm changed everything. Although we publicized the party with flyers passed out mainly in the financial district in San Francisco, in the days before the Internet, Facebook, and cell phones, about two hundred professional and business people showed up for the party, which included demonstrations of S&M, bondage, and discipline techniques performed by Mistress Cat, her submissive partner Mouse, and a half-dozen other members of the then small D&S community, which was then mainly comprised of members of the SM Church, the Society of Janus, and the Gemini Society in San Francisco.
The event was featured in the San Francisco Chronicle in a half-page spread on the front page of the local section. And suddenly, that made all the difference. Now the bookstores were willing to cover the book, and now magazine articles appeared on the subject. The book also contributed to the growth of the D&S community, and it even changed the conversation, since the term D&S was then unknown.
Then, in 1997, when the book was updated and revised for a new edition by Carol Press, I noted how D&S had become more accepted and openly practiced. As I noted then, about 15 to 75 million American adults participate in heterosexual erotic activity that includes some form of female dominancea switch from the usually less assertive female role in heterosexual relationships. I also noted how all there were perhaps ten thousand to twenty thousand people active in publicly exploring female dominance, that there were about one hundred sexually oriented magazines on this theme, that about one hundred thousand to one hundred fifty thousand males each year visit a professional dominatrix, and that the groups I originally wrote about in 1980 had grown and many new groups had emerged.
Well, with this new edition in 2013, the interest in and acceptance of this subject has grown even more. In books like 50 Shades of Grey and films like Laura Croft and KickAss, there are powerful women figures, and in music, women from Madonna to Miley Cyrus present themselves as strong and erotic figures. For example, according to recent stats, 23 percent of American adults play with dominance and submission in the form of bondage and discipline or S&M: most occasionally, some often, and a few 24/7about 5 million people. At the same time, about 20 percent of adults report some arousal from D&S images or stories.1
In turn, the sales of books and film attendance at films with D&S themes and imagery has zoomed. For instance, the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy has sold more than 65 million copies. And now the Internet and social media has provided even more opportunities for individuals to explore their D&S interest. For instance, the membership of FetLife, a social networking site for D&S enthusiasts interested in B&D or S&M, has grown to nearly 2 million.2
So now there is a vast new audience for books and other media featuring D&S, and particularly female dominance and male submission. While it may at the extremes be abused by practitioners who push the boundaries with dangerous activities, the vast majority of enthusiasts use safe words and respect limits in their play, intrigued by the imagery of danger and loss of control evoked in fantasy sessions, but able to control their participation so it remains in the realm of fantasy, much like the books, films, and social media interchanges that push limits in the imagination, but not in reality. This book is dedicated to themthose who are fascinated by this subject and who are committed to using any D&S practice safely and securely while respecting the limits of their partners in D&S play.
Introduction
A bout 15 to 75 million American adults, depending on the estimates, participate in heterosexual erotic activity that includes some form of female dominance, that is, a switch from the usually less assertive female role in heterosexual relationships. This erotic playwhich some characterize as a form of role reversal, others as a form of using powerincludes a variety of activities in which the woman is dominant and the man submissive. Indeed, many adults experiment with such activities without considering them a form of dominance and submission (D&S). For example, when a woman playfully orders a man to give her an erotic massage or takes the initiative in commanding the man to bed, the couples sexual pleasure involves an element of erotic female domination.
This kind of erotic activity, focused on the reversal of power roles, is sometimes referred to as a form of sadism and masochism (S&M) or of bondage and discipline (B&D). Some people use these terms interchangeably to refer to a wide variety of sexual, erotic, and recreational activities that involve a consensual power exchange between partners. In this book, however, I follow those who define S&M and B&D narrowly, reserving S&M to refer to exchanges involving eroticized mental, emotional, or physical pain and B&D to refer to the erotic use of assorted restraints and commands. I use D&S to encompass these and all other forms of consensual power exchange, such as the use of costumes, fetishes, cross-dressing, and infantilism (the erotic return to babyhood). These activities may be used for erotic arousal or for nonsexual fantasy play.