Kenneth Perlmutter - Freedom from Family Dysfunction: A Guide to Healing Families Battling Addiction or Mental Illness

Kenneth Perlmutter, PhD, a California-licensed clinical psychologist, has more than thirty years of experience working with individuals and families facing complex psychological and behavioral health disorders. He founded the Family Recovery Institute in 2008, where he sees individuals and families in his role as family systems psychologist. In addition, the Institute, now located in Marin County, offers family intensives and clinician training in family systems theory and treatment methods, employing Perlmutters proprietary model of Stress-Induced Impaired Coping. Dr. Perlmutter has provided clinical leadership roles and designed/installed family programs for several national-level treatment programs and agencies. As a professional educator, he has served on the graduate faculty of San Francisco State Universitys Counseling Department and as associate professor of chemical dependency studies at Cal State, East Bay. He has taught courses covering development across the life span, psychopharmacology, family systems theory, human sexuality, theory and technique of counseling, treatment planning and documentation, and supervision. Perlmutter has provided keynote presentations and breakout workshops at most of the major addiction and behavioral health care treatment conferences, including US Journal Training, C4 Recovery Solutions, Foundations Recovery Network, Southwestern School of Behavioral Health, the Ben Franklin Institute, the Institute for Integral Studies, and the Thelma-McMillen Foundations lecture series. For the past two years he has had the privilege to conduct a four-day workshop for client families of the Rainbow Treatment Center on the White Mountain Apache Reservation in Northern Arizona. Dr. Perlmutter was appointed founding credential chair of the International Association of Family Addiction Professionals.

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Whether you grew up in total chaos or an anxious, over-controlled freezer, you can free your system from the wounds of its past.

Sharon could just feel it in her bones. It was going to be one of those nights. Katie, her seventeen-year-old daughter, just got through the weekend and, miraculously, had kept it mellow. She even studied a bit, Sharon recalled as she thought of how hard it would be to get Katie up in the morning even if she went to bed at a decent hour. Now it was 12:30 a.m. Sunday night and no sign of her. Doesnt she know how important the ACTs are for her college apps, Sharon tortured herself, thinking, This is junior year, everything counts.

It had become common for Sharons mind to be filled with thoughts about Katieher grades, her assignments, her schedule, her friends, her boyfriends (Ugh, that Darrell!), and lately, her comings and goings. What does she do out there till all hours? These thoughts circled in Sharons mind as effortlessly as birds of prey rising on a hot summers updraft.

Katie was a good kid most of her growing up, rarely causing problems. Then in the spring of tenth grade, almost a year ago exactly, Sharon got the call. Katie had been detained for marijuana possession: Come pick her up or we take her to juvenile hall, the cop said on the phone. It turned out Katie would be suspended from school for a week, be assigned thirty hours of community service, and was mentioned, anonymously thank goodness, in the weekly newspapers police blotter. A bunch of kids had a party and, to Sharons shock, Katie had brought the pot.

Sharon could remember the conversations like they happened yesterday. Katie would be so cavalier, brushing everything off like it didnt matter and insisting this was the first time shed smoked.

But, you were arrested, Sharon said, and that cop said you had brought the pot for the group.

Mom, come on, all the kids were cited. We werent actually arrestedthats when they take you to jail. Was I ever in jail?

Come on, Katie, Sharon practically begged. Cant you see how this could become a bigger problem. Ive told you your fathers an alcoholic. Its in your genes.

Mom, you worry too much. Im running a solid 3.5, never been pregnant, or had an STD. What more do you want?

Pregnant! STD! Are you sexually active? Youre only in tenth grade.

Mom, get real. Its 2016. I know what Im doing.

Things settled down for the rest of tenth grade, but that summer Katie was fired from her camp counselor job for drinking. Katie swore it was a single incident, and Sharon believed her. She held on to Katies promises because they fit with what Sharon wanted: no more problems. I just gotta get her through high school and into a decent college. This thought had become Sharons mission statement, and she took some comfort when keeping this purpose in mind.

As it approached 1:00 a.m. Sharon felt the deeper terror run through her. How is she ever going to get up in the morning? She has to do well on the test. And where is she? Sharon reached Katies voice mail for the millionth time and thought about calling one of Katies friends. Shed hate it if I did that. Ill wait a little longer.

Sharon must have dozed. At 2:47 a.m. she awoke to the sound of a rumbling engine. Darrels stupid hot rod, she knew. Peering through the blinds, she could see Katie in silhouette lit by the cars inside light. Katie had opened the passenger door and stumbled out after a long kiss. She fumbled for her keys, eventually opening the front door.