Harold S. Koplewicz - Scaffold Parenting: Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety

It takes real talent to do what Koplewicz has accomplished in this book, which is assemble the best science and probe the wisest clinical minds (including his own), and then weave everything together into a highly readable and relatable narrative thats both useful and fun. With a unique mix of personal anecdote and professional insight, he breaks with received wisdom, delivers up some eye-opening surprises, and sends the greatly reassuring message to parents that if we take care of ourselves, our kids will be okay.

Judith Warner, New York Times bestselling author of Perfect Madness and And Then They Stopped Talking to Me

Drawing on decades of clinical expertise and an organization that does some of the most compelling research on kids and mental health in this country, Dr. Koplewicz has written a practical, engrossing, and singularly useful book. Healthy adults dont just happen. They happen because we give them a robust foundation of safety and confidence. Step by step, Dr. Koplewicz illustrates how this foundation is best built.

Madeline Levine, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of The Price of Privilege and Ready or Not

This book is written with so much understanding and so much sympathyfor both children and their parents. Harold Koplewicz brings science and clinical experience together with his own family experiences to create a book that is always practical and compassionate, and manages to be firm, gentle, and encouraging in all the right ways.

Perri Klass, MD, professor of journalism and pediatrics, New York University, and author of A Good Time to Be Born

This compassionate, witty, and street-smart guide to helping kids become independent young adults is a gift to parents everywhere. Harold Koplewicz gives us the tools to build strong, safe support around our children, and then trust that they will launch all the better for it and grow into their own destiny.

Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, author of The Big Disconnect

Scaffolding is about passing the torch of knowledge, self-confidence, and empathy to your child so that she is not fearful of taking chances and grows increasingly confident of making her own decisions. This book is a true gift to parents and their children. As both a neuroscientist and dyslexia advocate, a parent, and now a grandparent, I loved this book.

Sally Shaywitz, MD, Audrey G. Ratner Professor, codirector, Yale Center for Dyslexia & Creativity, and coauthor of Overcoming Dyslexia (2nd Edition, 2020)

A master synthesizer of attachment science, medical practice, and his own experience as a father, Harold Koplewicz capably and compassionately leads us through the art of scaffolding, from early childhood through the important adolescent period, and then finally to the moment in our own parenting journey when we will let the scaffold down and see our kids move out into the larger world with kindness, strength, and security.

Daniel J. Siegel, MD, New York Times bestselling coauthor of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline

In this era of searing fear and uncertainty, and out of the turbulent sea of contradictory parenting advice, emerges, blessedly, Harold Koplewiczs authoritative counsel. A true giant of child psychiatry, Koplewicz has condensed his immense knowledge, wisdom, and experience into a practical and actionable plan. This book is an instant classica godsend for us all.

Edward M. Hallowell, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Driven to Distraction and ADHD 2.0

Parenting advice tends to swing like a pendulumfrom one extreme, trendy position to anotherevery few years. The steady, deeply sensible, and dependable position is Scaffold Parenting. Full of vivid examples of the evergreen effectiveness of scaffoldingthe best way to support children as they grow (and grow away from us)its a book for the ages.

Wendy Mogel, New York Times bestselling author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee

Scaffold parentingshares the sweet spot between permissive and controlling parenting(and) reminds caregivers that it is never too late to help your children become the best versions of themselves, which is all any parent can hope for.

Booklist

A family came to see me recently because the son, a six-year-old boy named Henry, was kicked out of his first-grade class. He got frustrated during a reading lesson and started throwing pencils and growling like a gorilla at another student. The teacher was so unnerved, the school administrators told the parents he wasnt allowed back until hed been evaluated by a professional.

Physically, Henry was angelic. His parents were all-American good-looking, tall with firm handshakes. They were obviously upset and embarrassed about their sons outburst and his being kicked out of class. They were worried he might have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety, or a behavioral problem. Henrys father asked, Is the school overreacting?

That was what we had to find out.

After speaking with Henry for a few minutes, it was clear that his verbal skills were terrific. He was shy at first, but when he talked about summer sports, he had a glint in his eye. He eventually revealed the reason he got so upset during that lesson: The kid next to him had made fun of how slowly he was writing his letters and called him dumb. I took out a book and he tried to read it, but clearly couldnt decode, meaning he couldnt make the connection between a letter and a specific sound. Henry admitted that he was slower than the other kids and that dumb remark hit home.