Copyright Page
2017 by Helen S. Goff, David Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan
Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan
www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Ebook edition created 2017
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4412-3079-9
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations identified ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2011
Scripture quotations identified The Message are from THE MESSAGE. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Scripture quotations identified NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Some names and recognizable details have been changed to protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories for this book.
Cover design by Gearbox
Authors are represented by D.C. Jacobson & Associates.
Endorsements
Goff, Thomas, and Trevathan have devoted their lives to helping kids and helping their parents. The wisdom of this book is immense. If you need practical ways to empower your sons or daughters, they outline them in understandable ways for parents. Their four emotional, social, and spiritual milestones and stumbling blocks are stunningly helpful. I will certainly use this as a grandparent, and Im sorry I did not have this treasure chest for my own children.
Becky Allender, MA, co-founder of The Allender Center for Trauma and Abuse, The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology
This book is a profound gift to parents who really want to seize their God-given privilege of offering more than the basics to their children. There is such a grasp of the joy and sorrow, fear and wonder of parenting. Goff, Thomas, and Trevathan have hit a home run for us all no matter whether we are parenting our children or caring for our adult children and grandchildren.
Dan B. Allender, professor of counseling psychology and founding president, The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology; author, To Be Told and Healing the Wounded Heart
The intentional and thoughtful focus on a childs emotional, social, and spiritual life from a very early age may well be the anecdote to the growing mental health concerns we now see in young people. This book offers welcome reassurance and guidance to parents seeking to model calm and positive character development in the midst of our fast-paced world.
Nancy Beveridge, MD, The Childrens Clinic of Nashville
As a relatively new adoptive mom, I inhaled Are My Kids on Track? by my friends Sissy, Melissa, and David with the enthusiasm I usually reserve for guacamole or dark chocolate. And boy am I glad I did! I came away with some profound insight and lots of practical application regarding how to parent my daughter out of love not fear and how to better shepherd her toward Jesus. Plus, my jeans werent any tighter after I gorged myself on their collective wisdom, which makes this book a huge win-win in my opinion!
Lisa Harper, author and speaker
As a parent with young children, I couldnt be more thankful for Are My Kids on Track? It casts a vision for how to help nurture emotional, social, and spiritual growth in your childrens hearts. I felt inspired and equipped as I read through each chapter, and I believe that this book will be a transformational tool for many families.
Ellie Holcomb, singer-songwriter
Are My Kids on Track? isnt just the title of this book, but the question we all ask ourselves as parents. We worry about their physical, mental, and social development almost from the time they are born. (How else do you explain why I tried so hard to teach my two-week-old daughter how to hold a rattle?) Meanwhile, we are surrounded by voices that tell us all the ways we could be doing it better, and it can make us feel overwhelmed and confused.
Thats why I love Sissy, Melissa, and David. They offer practical advice on how we can make sure we are raising kids who will flourish, and they do it in a way that is relatable and compassionate. You will read these pages and feel like youre sitting across the table from a wise older brother and sisters who are cheering you on and encouraging you to run the race of parenthood in a way that will help you develop your kids into exactly who God made them to be.
Melanie Shankle, New York Times bestselling author of Sparkly Green Earrings
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Endorsements
Epigraph
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Section 1: Emotional Milestones
1. Emotional Vocabulary
2. Perspective
3. Empathy
4. Resourcefulness
Section 2: Social Milestones
5. Awareness
6. Reciprocity
7. Ownership
8. Boundaries
Section 3: Spiritual Milestones
9. Foundation
10. Identity
11. Mercy
12. Meaning
Notes
About the Authors
Back Cover
Epigraph
What saved me was that I found gentle, loyal and hilarious companions, which is at the heart of meaning; maybe we dont find a lot of answers to lifes toughest questions, but if we find a few true friends, thats even better. They help you see who you truly are, which is not always the loveliest possible version of yourself, but then comes the greatest miracle of allthey still love you.
Anne Lamott
Acknowledgements
Were profoundly grateful for the many folks whove helped us stay on track over the years... predominantly our families, friends, and the staff at Daystar. Thank you for allowing us to share your stories and try your patience as weve written this book. We are more because of your love and companionship.
And this book is more because of the giftedness of our home team at Raising Boys and Girls: Carrie Elder, Amanda Young, and Helen Goff keep our schedules, finances, and FedEx packages on track with exceeding kindness. Andy McGuire and the folks at Baker Publishing have extended tremendous hospitality in welcoming us into their family. And Jana Muntsinger has been a coach, encourager, and dear friend to us through the many years and pages of life in the publishing world.
Introduction
Is my baby rolling back and forth?
Does she respond to her name?
Can he sit up on his own?
Questions.
The journey of parenting is full of questions. More questions than answers. The first time a pediatrician enters the hospital room, youll find yourself asking and answering questions. It starts with questions about feeding, sleeping, and, of all things, bowel movements. Who knew there was so much to say about meconium?
How do I know if she is getting enough milk?
How much will my newborn sleep?