Table of Contents
Brooke Burke
To my family, David, Neriah,
Sierra, Rain, and Shaya.
You give my life purpose. This book is ours and possible because of all of us.
To my man, my friend, my lover, thank you for making me face myself. I am forever grateful for the security and confidence you possessed to encourage me to write this book and share the intimate details of our lives. I adore you. You are my life.
To my children, you are my greatest accomplishments. Thank you for educating me every day, making me honest, and keeping me grounded. You all make me want to be better.
Being your mom is the greatest I will ever be.
I love you more than words.
acknowledgments
THERE WERE TIMES when I doubted whether this book would ever see the light of day. I dissected every part of who I am during the year it took to write this. I second-guessed myself and what I believe in, and even doubted my ability at times to walk my own talk. On many days, I was unsure of what was relevant enough to reveal to the world.
There are many people to thank for keeping me on the right track, keeping me truthful, and encouraging me to share my experiences.
First and foremost, my partner, my love, David. Without him, I never would have had the courage or the freedom to share my journey. At moments of doubt, when I wondered if I was sharing too much, he sat beside me and listened to my thoughts and fears, and encouraged me to go for it all, as he always does. He is the support system that I always wanted but only dreamed of. Thank you for making me more, and being in my corner. You showed me true love and welcomed the concept of our ever-challenging blended family. You are my soul mate, my gravity. Somehow you always bring me back, and keep me where I belong. I am forever grateful to you for showing me a different way. Je taime la folie, mon amour.
The four dynamic, fantastic and special personalities that define my gorgeous children have allowed me to fully understand the concept of flexibility. Because of them, I know that I may never figure it all out, but I will keep learning and tweaking along our way. Their voices and fragile hearts and lifes ups and downs have taught me so much and turned on lights in my darkest corners. I hope you will better understand my ways one day when you read this book. I always and only want the best for all of you, and all of you make me fight for nothing less. Thank you.
Mom, what can I say? You taught me about unconditional love and made me want to be a mother. Thank you for giving me that precious gift. I miss Armen and wish he could have seen who I am because of the life lessons you both taught me. Thank you. I love you.
Tamara Jones allowed my voice to come to life on paper. You made me feel safe to share all; you never judged me and you made me feel better about myself. Thank you for writing with me every day. You entered my sacred haven, delicately, kindly and compassionately. Thank you for making this experience so fulfilling. It feels like a sad breakup now that its finished. I already miss our late-night talks, pity parties, and laughter. You are brilliant. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope this is only the beginning. You were the right choice!
To my sister, Kim, my crash mat: Sharing our sucky moments together always makes them feel better. Thanks for reminding me that my tough road has led me to where I am. I am your fan.
As a woman, I value my girlfriends more than ever! You know who you are. Thank you for your virgin eyes during this process. Without you, I would go insane. Thanks for allowing me to make fun of myself, the bitch sessions, and your brutal honesty.
To my fabulous Glam Squad: Steven Lake, Marylin Lee, Steven Aturo, and Justin Ducotyyou guys allow me to pretend, escape, and never let anyone know how tired I really am. I am so lucky to play princess, share my intimate space, and trust all of you. You are the best of the best! XOXO
To supermom Lisa, my partner and friend. We breathe community healing; thank you for giving me a front-row seat. We always speak the same language. Thanks for your faith in me.
To Richard Abate, my literary agent. Thanks for pounding the pavement with me in New York, making this book happen, and giving me Tamara. I never imagined I would add author to my list!
To Tracy Bernstein, my editor at New American Library: Thank you for believing in this book, and giving me a place to share my triumphs and tribulations with women everywhere.
To my manager, partner, and dear friend, David Brady: Thank you for running my life and giving me mucho to manage. You are my Quan.
To the DWTS family: Thank you for changing my life and making one of my bucket-list dreams come true. I never imagined Id go from carpool to the ballroom, from sweats to sequins, and make it home to tuck in my babies while dressed like a princess. What a gig!
And to every woman who picks up this book, and shares my journey: Make time to DANCE!
introduction
Holding them close:(left to right) David and me with Sierra, 8; Shaya, 2; Neriah, 10; and Rain, 3.
Lover, fighter, giver, taker, hero, villain, soul mate, bitch, spouse, daughter, sister, coach, seductress, ice queen, protector, chauffeur, chef, hostess, boss, trophy, caregiver, confidante, choreographer, director, playmate, maid, diva, martyr, negotiator, diplomat, nurse, gardener, cheerleader, hunter, gatherer, survivor, decision maker, counselor, vixen, fixer, dreamer, faker, mind reader, partner, accomplice, volunteer, drill sergeant, entrepreneur, juggler, clown, domestic engineer, goddess, witch, teacher, warrior, banker, concubine, geek, spy, dairy bar, mistress, referee, fashionista, dancer, femme fatale, peacemaker, nurturer, judge, jury, comedienne, shrew, lioness, actress, champion, body-guard, CEO, role model, best friend, competitor, advocate, manager, rescuer, sprinter, courier, princess, saint, sinner, net-worker, homemaker, employee, slave, dictator, rebel, servant, healer, politician, magician, muse.
How many different words describe you? A handful? A hundred? Thats why I wanted to write this book, because I believe passionately that motherhood is so much more than the sum of its countless roles and dog-eared labels: This is about us. For us. Smart, sexy, soulful moms. Consider this an expos of who we really are, when you shed the stereotypes and popular myths and the polished faades we all hide behind at times.
The Naked Mom is motherhood, revealed. Its not about being right or wrong. Its about being authentic. When youre raising four children, running a household, tending a relationship, building a multimillion-dollar business, and pursuing a television career, theres no room for pretense or posturing. I always knew I would be a mother, but I never imagined I would have this many children this fast, or that our lives would be full of changes and new challenges every day. But I was raised to take chances, to be strong, and to find my own way. When I think about myself as a mother, I suppose thats just what Ive done. I dont believe in A-to-Z guides that spell out the right way to raise your children, or be a wife, or realize your personal goals. Theres always going to be someone out there wanting to tell you exactly how to do itthat opinionated friend who thinks her way is the only way, another mother whos doing something better than you are. Modeling yourself after someone else will never work. I wanted to write this book to hopefully inspire women to share their experiences, to learn and live and laugh together. Motherhood is a community, and we should all reap its collective wisdom and joy. But at the same time, I hope youll find your private dancer deep within, and let her guide you through the music that is yours alone. I hope that sharing my own missteps and triumphs will help you realize your own possibilities and discover potential you didnt know you had, or put aside long ago. The truth is, Ive achieved more as a mother than Ive ever done in my life.
