Vikki Weiss - What to Do When Youre Dating a Jew: Everything You Need to Know from Matzoh Balls to Marriage

Copyright 2000 by Vikki Weiss and Jennifer A. Block

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published by Three Rivers Press, New York, New York. Member of the Crown Publishing Group.

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Designed by Lauren Dong and Sue Maksuta

Printed in the United States of America

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Weiss, Vikki.

What to do when youre dating a Jew: everything you need to know from matzah balls to marriage / by Vikki Weiss and Jennifer A. Block.
p. cm.
1. Interfaith marriage. 2. JudaismCustoms and practices. 3. CourtshipReligious aspectsJudaism. 4. JewsUnited StatesSocial life and customs. I. Block, Jennifer A.
II. Title.
HQ1031.W45 2000
306.843dc21 00-037723

eISBN: 978-0-307-56625-6

v3.1

To Laurie Rosenow, my closest friend and a shiksa who really knows how to noodge. Had it not been for her weekly proddings (Are you working on the book? Youve got to write the book. Its going to be a best-seller!), this book would never have come to fruition.

Vikki

To my parents, Michael and Judith Block, for respecting my decision to marry someone outside the faith. To my husband, Dave Martin, for welcoming my crazy, wonderful Jewish family with open arms. And in memory of Ruth A. Mass and Anna Block, who would have been so proud of their bubeleh.

Jennifer

First, wed like to thank our mothers for raising us to be nice Jewish girls with a sense of humor. Vikkis mom, Suzanne Weiss, will get extra Hanukkah gelt this year for writing the introduction and acting as our editor before we were lucky enough to land Sarah Silbert at Three Rivers Press. And we cant thank our agent, Linda Konner, enough for championing this project from the beginning.

The rest of our family members deserve credit as well. Without the love, encouragement, and support (in the form of a Toshiba laptop) given by Ben and Maureen Weiss, Vikki would have never had the courage or the means to take two months off and write in Lake Tahoe. Without Lisa Weisss laser printer and secretary, the manuscript would have never been delivered on time. Lisa also served as an excellent content consultant. Thanks to Eric and Ellyn Weiss and their spouses (Keni Renner and Leo Schmitz), who inspired the book.

Many thanks to Elizabeth Block and Eric Block (for sharing a lifetime of fun family memories), Lisa Friedman (for the recipes), and Jennifers parents friends (for enthusiastically spreading the word about What to Do When ).

Thanks to all of our rabbis, maggids, Saturday, Sunday, and Hebrew school teachers, and camp counselors across the country who helped us become the Jews that we are today.

Finally, thanks to all of our friends who have laughed at our jokes, told us great stories, tested recipes, and patiently listened to us talk about The Book for over a year. We love you all.

Vikki and Jennifer

Megan Kelly first met the Greensteins, her future in-laws, at a kosher deli. She ordered a ham and cheese sandwich. She needs this book. She is not alone. According to a 1990 national Jewish population study, a staggering 52 percent of American Jews marry someone outside their faith. And that leaves a lot of room for slip-ups like Megans. Weve been there, and were here to help you survive mealtimes, holidays, and shopping excursions with Jewish family and friends.

What to Do When Youre Dating a Jew: Everything You Need to Know from Matzah Balls to Marriage will introduce you to all things Jewish, from chicken soup to Seinfeld, from Hanukkah gelt to oy gevalt! With your newfound knowledge, youll feel confident drinking your four cups of wine at the Passover seder table. Youll trade Yiddish barbs with the best of them. Youll be leading the hora at the next wedding. Heck, you could even whip up a Shabbat dinner from scratch.

As Jewish women, we have a lifetime of experience dealing with Jewish men and their families. Were happy to enlighten those in need of a little guidance. You dont have to thank us. Just the fact that you have this book in your hands gives our mothers great naches .

Enjoy!

V IKKI W EISS AND J ENNIFER A. B LOCK
January 6, 2000