Table of Contents
For Sabrina, who fuels me with the urge to seek an even better version of myself every single day.
For Matthew, whose presence reminds me that life is filled with miracles and hidden treasures.
For Tommy, who has held my hand throughout an extraordinary journey full of passion, and who has shown me the true meaning of the word commitment.
For my mother, whose gaze alone transmitted unconditional love, a love that has transcended the grave. You will always be in my heart, in every place and thought we ever shared, forever and ever.
My fans and followers, especially if they are young like me, in every circumstance of their lives feel as though they are someone wearing clothing that isnt their size.
(...)
When I have felt down, it was due to a mprise, a misunderstanding with regard to personality; I have, in effect, considered myself to be someone that I am not, and I have lamented his disgrace; think of myself, for example, a Privatdozent, who is unable to obtain a professorship or a no from students; or somehow who is censored by this hypocrite, or criticized by that grand society dame; or like the convict on trial for defamation; or like the lover who does not correspond with the young girl who so infatuated him; or like the patient convalescing in his house; or like any other person who ruminates on these types of miseries: I have been none of these; it has been about something other than me, a piece of cloth that perhaps has been cut from something that I wore for a while, but which I later threw out and replaced with another.
So, who am I?
ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER,
The Art of Knowing Ones Self
PRELUDE
Growing Stronger emerged from a need to relate my life experiences as well as my constant struggle to prevail each day, and as a reminder to myself of the importance of never giving up. There are moments that are decisive and transcendental, which have in some way impacted me deeply, a path that I had to chart, no matter how or where I was. The important thing was the desire and decision to do soto conquer it, to walk it, to experience it, take it in, and most of all, to live it fully.
As I wrote this book, I also lived through two critical and transformative events: my second pregnancy, the announcement of a new life that I will soon hold in my arms, inviting joy to knock on my door once again; and the death of my beloved mother, Yolanda, the single most important person in my life, whose total devotion, support, direction, excellent counsel and unconditional love armed me with the tools to face this moment of joy that came with the arrival of our familys newest member, but also the total devastation of her sudden loss.
I started the book during a time when I felt that I had found myself, existing on a plane of optimal and harmonious balance regarding my thoughts and feelings alike, having made peace with my pastand I finished the book with a sense of fullness and liberation that I, in turn, wanted to share with you.
But God had other plans, and because the book was already in production, I decided to include and share the latest of my great teststhe irreparable loss of my mother, who is the most cherished person in my life.
One week prior to her death, my mothersuch the enthusiast about everythingheld this finalized manuscript, which she not only read twice, but also edited, adding her comments where necessary and making revisions that we instantly addressed in the book.
Since I was a little girl, I have witnessed the strength and courage that energized my mother, who left every sorrow and pain in the past, who would work unyieldingly to obtain her goals, who was the great warrior from whom I learned all the values that are today fundamental pillars of my every day.
She raised me to have a steady character; she held my hand, and with her I discovered an infinite world of possibilities and dreams that could become a reality. Her essence came through in all of my stories, in my daily life, in my dreams and desires. My mother shared all of it, always full of life and passion, as only she could be, one with freedom, shining like the sun and eating up the blessings and opportunities of life by hungry mouthfuls.
My mother was a little girl who never grew up, and sometimes we would laugh, and I would say things like, Okay, so now it looks like I am your mother and you are my daughter, to which she would reply, Well, yes. Handle it and pamper me. I wish this could really be true with the birth of my baby: that somehow her spirit could be born again in this new creature who will fill my house with love, that I could have her in my arms and cuddle her with so much love close to my heart. But I know that she was called by God to follow the path that He has for her.
My mothers impetuous personality and her limitless way of being touched so many of the people who knew her. She filled some of them with love, with optimism, with faith and smiles. To others she imparted wise advice during their difficult times, helping them along; and she transformed others into great impresarios, talented businessmen, professionals with the capacity to develop in any field; likewise with her closest people, such as her family, friends, acquaintances and colleagues, from her banker to her hairdresser. All of them always felt a lot of love for her and felt loved by her, a gift that very few people have.
This book is a celebration of love and joy, an homage that through the course of my life experiences, most of it accompanied by her, I want to share with you, my readers.
In Growing Stronger, I expose my most painful moments and open my heart, thoughts and person, so that my experiences can inspire alleviation, consolation and decisiveness.
Like everyone else, there are things that motivate me, as well as things that detract and paralyze me. With this book, which is filled with a sentiment of fortitude and potential, I want to inspire people to live their lives fully, for us to always see a light along the way, and in this way be able to embrace, forgive, restore and love.
Through my remembrances, past and present, I discovered the power that I carry within, much of which I inherited directly from my mother.
I realized that every experience, every hardship, problem, painful ordeal, difficult or intense, has allowed me to know myself better each time. I hope with all my heart that through my experiences and story you will be able to find that sense of motivation that, as it did for me, will inspire you to discover the marvelous person that you are, even in the midst of storminess and pain. This book reflects the trajectory of my life, which I hope will help you along your path and in your search. If this book helps you at all with your own life, that will be the greatest gift for me.
Thank you, Mother, because you taught me to be stronger every day.
Thalia
CHAPTER ONE
CHILDHOOD
Dear Llorona:
I am writing this letter to thank you for everything that you have done for me, which of course I had to grow up to really understand.
