Table of Contents
For Jonas, my love for you is profound and eternal. I won lifes lottery to have you as my partner and the father of my children. You are my inspiration.
For Cooper and Lilah, the two of you give me purpose and help keep everything in perspective.
And for my nephew, Kal-El. Your short life was full of big laughs. I miss you.
Mom, thank-you for showing me that there are so many other colors in the world besides the primary ones. It is that kind of thinking outside the box that has helped me in every area of my life. Dad, you have always believed in me and taught me to find the beauty in nature, especially flowers. I love you.
My entire family (both born into and married into), your love and support mean more to me than you can ever imagine.
Barb, from meeting in a Mommy and Me class to becoming business partners, our friendship is deep and everlasting. You have taught me to believe in myself and stand firmly on my own two feet. I love you.
Jen
For my beautiful daughters, India and Soraya. I thank God every day for sending you to me. You are truly my angels, and you inspire me daily to be the best person I can be.
For my Handsome Prince. Thank you for always believing in me and for always saying yes. You are a true partner and the love of my life.
To my mom and auntie for being the best role models any woman (girl) could have and for giving me the gift of confidence. To my mother-in-law Mercedeh for all the babysitting. Your are an important part of my village.
Barb
When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.
Jean Shinoda Bolen
Acknowledgments
We are forever grateful to all the amazing moms who have shared their stories with us over the past few years. You may not realize it when you tell your story, but it helps make other women feel they are not alone on their journey.
A special thank-you to Danny Fishman. You believed in our vision when it was just an idea we were discussing, and without your persistence and dedication, we would not be where we are today.
Julie Hermelin, our friend and original director, you helped shape our show and gave tirelessly of your time, ideas, and direction. Your voice and energy live in Mom Life.
Our deepest appreciation to all of the amazing guests who shared their insights and information. You have helped us in our own lives and gave invaluable information to the millions of women who watch our show.
Our amazing producer with Specific Media, Samantha Giberga, you are the glue that holds us together. To watch you go from woman to mother (twice!) in our time with you has been beautiful.
Chris Sliney at Playground, for taking a crazy moms call on your vacation and making the impossible happen.
A big thank-you to Brad Roth and Mark Feldstein at Stun Creative. You stuck with us and helped us turn our vision into a show. It has been and continues to be a pleasure to work with you and your team.
A special shout out to Jill Reisman at Stun. You keep this ship on course even in the choppiest of waters!
Our director and editor extraordinaire, Andrew Karlsruher, aka Young Andrew, you are a Rock Star, and we are lucky to have you. You have helped elevate Mom Life to new heights. We thank you for that and for putting up with us and picking up the phone at all hours of the night when we called.
We would not have reached the millions of people without our partnership with Specific Media and the support of all of our sponsors over the last few years. Thank-you for understanding the importance of the power of moms and being committed to bringing them content that is important and relevant.
Dr. Phil, that day that we spent with you in your office and on your set was invaluable. You shared your wisdom and inspired us. A day with you was like getting a masters degree from Harvard!
To one of our biggest supporters, Abra Potkin. You have believed in us from the get-go and have been an important part of our journey.
Rachael Ray and her amazing team, we love being part of your community and being your online moms. We appreciate your support of the importance of the mom conversation.
Rebecca Raphael, that week we spent together in LA getting all our stories down on paper was an invaluable contribution to this book.
Joel Gotler, our agent, we called you for some friendly advice, and you turned it into a book deal within days. You thought we had a voice that should be heard, and if it were not for you, this book might not have a publisher.
Larry Kirshbaum, our book agent, thank-you for holding our hands through the publishing process. Your enthusiasm gave us great confidence.
Roger Cooper and Vanguard Press, especially Georgina Levitt, working with you on this book has been a pleasure. We won the lottery with you and your team.
This book would be a box of ideas and thoughts if not for the amazing work of Francine LaSala. We will never forget the night we were holed up all night in a New York hotel room working with you. Your voice lives in this book.
The fresh eyes of Monica Harris, our editor, helped us get over the final hurdles to getting our message across.
Last, but not least, thank-you to all the viewers who take the time to watch our show and share your thoughts, and who have become part of our village.
With love and gratitude,
Jen and Barb
Introduction
I Have What I Thought I Always Wanted; Why Arent I Happy?
If you picked up this book, youre probably feeling displaced and isolated in your role as both mother and woman. Youre feeling uncertain about what your real place in life is, and think that theres probably something wrong with you because you have everything you ever thought you wanted, but theres still something missing. Dont worry. Youre not alone.
Barb
I have wanted three things out of life since I was a little girl. I wanted to be a talk show host, because I love talking to people and hearing their stories. I wanted to be financially secure, because growing up in a single-parent household, I never was. And I wanted a family with the best dad in the world for my kids. My dad was a substance abuser, and my parents divorced when I was young. Those circumstances gave me the no-excuses attitude Ive brought to everything I do. Im goal oriented, and I work hard at everything I do. I was president of my high school, was editor of the school newspaper, and received a scholarship to USC. I felt I could do anything I wanted. I was the girl soaring against the odds, and I had everything under control. What was most shocking to me about becoming a mom, however, was that none of the tricks I had used in my life seemed to work. Once my kids came along, it was like my magic was gone.
Jen
I always wanted happiness and a family. Along the way I had a love for dance and a desire to be a good businesswoman, but at the core of it all was family. I think thats why I was so confused when I had my husband and two children but still felt something was missing. I didnt realize how important the me was in my equation of happiness. I may be slightly old-fashioned in this respect, as many of my peers knew they wanted a huge career or to make a ton of money, but somewhere along the way, I grew to have my own desires and ambitions and didnt realize that was going to be a critical part of my family life.