Sarah Tomczak - How to Live Like a Lady: Lessons in Life, Manners, and Style

BY DIANA MATHER

A couple of years ago I was asked by friends if there were courses to help give their daughters confidence and a bit of polish, and I realized that most of the established finishing schools had closed down. I started to research why these schools were no longer popular. Girls today still want to know how to behave appropriately in any situation, but they dont want to spend a year doing it. Older women from their twenties to their fifties sometimes feel that there is a gap in their knowledge as far as etiquette, protocol, and manners are concerned, and from this The Public Image School of Etiquette was born. Our five-day courses give people a broad look at life skills as well as learning how to walk with poise or how to hold a knife and fork properly.

I was very pleased to be asked to write the foreword for this book as I believe it is very important to put emphasis on modern manners and ladylike behaviorpart of my mission is to do just that.

Being a lady means different things to different people. To me, it means treating other people with kindness and consideration, and if possible keeping your cool and acting with decorum at all timesin short, having good manners. Being a lady also means celebrating your femininity.

Confidence and self belief are two of the greatest gifts you can give anybody and part of that confidence comes from knowing the rules; if you know the rules you can decide whether or not to keep them. Etiquette evolves over time, and so a book such as this is extremely valuable as it gives advice and tips on twenty first-century etiquette and conduct, in an un-stuffy, fun, and lively way. It is essential to keep up with the trends in acceptable behavior and this book will help you do just thatit is also great fun!

Its not easy to remain ladylike when those around you are getting lazier by the minute. Many women have given up altogether. Their defection means that flashing too much flesh and sharing their bodily functions with the world has become so commonplace that exercising good manners now seems positively old-fashioned.

But it doesnt have to be this way! Social graces not only make the world a much more pleasant place, but they make you a much more pleasant person. Behaving like a lady can ensure you a place on every party guest list, make you the most popular girl in the office, and yes, even help you procure the man of your dreams.

However, many of the old rules no longer apply. Its not necessary to let a man order for you in a restaurant and its become de rigueur to air-kiss your friends when greeting them. Sending a text message is now a perfectly acceptable way to invite a friend for dinner and you no longer have to home-cook every course you serve up. With our fast-paced lives and the never-ending advancement of modern communication, only the most conscientious of ladies can be bothered to switch off her cell phone, turn down her iPod, avoid hitting reply all on her e-mail, and get out her pen and paper to send a thank-you note.

So how do you navigate your way through this modern minefield and avoid social faux pas?

Thats where this chic little manual comes in handy. The following six chapters contain everything you need to know about behaving like a lady in todays society. Youll develop the art of elegant speech, learn how to introduce yourself and make small talk, how to avoid conversational blunders, and how to hold an engaging conversation with anyone.

Youll learn how to use your body language to your advantage, how to stand with poise, how to sit like a lady, and the secret to walking gracefully, even in towering heels. You may think that getting out of a car is easy, but doing it with style is a little more complicated. You only have to look at the unfortunate pictures in the papers of celebrities exposing their underwear to see that this must be a subtle art!

Theres an entire section on style and good grooming, because theres no bigger calamity than wearing an inappropriate outfit to a soire or revealing a visible panty line to disapproving companions. Image is, of course, essential to every lady, and although natural style cannot be taught, dressing to suit your figure and wearing the right outfit for every occasion can.

And though theres no denying Audrey Hepburn is the epitome of elegance, it took Eliza Dolittle more than a new outfit to become a Fair Lady, so once we have learnt how to be chic, we move on to learning how to be a fabulous guest, as well as what to wear, how to behave, and what to bring to various parties to which you may receive an invite. The dinner table is a potential etiquette nightmare, so there is a helpful section on cracking the code with tips on how to tackle particularly tricky foodbefore you bought this book, your bungled attempts to dismantle these foods could well have left your dinner companions open mouthed! And what about when you are the hostess? Look no further and no longer fear the ring of the door bellwe look at perfect party preparation to ensure that an invite to your place will be the hottest ticket in town.