M any generous and thoughtful suggestions and contributions by the following people enhanced this book:
Laurence I. Burd, MD; Jeffrey A. Buckner, MD; Michael Cohen; Sue M. Copeland; Margaret Danson Gries; Sue Kessler Feld; Norman Fine; Jennifer Meyers Forsberg; Rabbi Eric Eisenkramer; Lesli Groves; Jonathan Leshanski, DVM; Beverly Wolf MacMahon; Jacqueline McQuade of the Schuyler Hill Funeral Home; Betsy Parker; Anne L. W. Price; John Sands; Mitchell Sweet, MD; and John Thornton.
I am equally grateful to Ruth Mechaneck, PhD and to C. Toni Mufson, MSW, for their perceptive assistance on the grief counseling and therapy chapter; to Anthony Ard, Esq., for his review of the legal aspects of the text, to Nick Lyons for his editorial scrutiny and guidance, to Tony Lyons for suggesting the project, and to the Skyhorse staff, and especially Abigail R. Gehring, for helping to bring this book to fruition.
Also by Steven D. Price
Teaching Riding at Summer Camp (The Stephen Greene Press, 1972)
Panorama of American Horses (Westover/Crown, 1973)
Civil Rights , Vols. 1 and 2 (Facts On File, 1973)
Get A Horse!: Basics of Backyard Horsekeeping (Viking, 1974)
Take Me Home: The Rise of Country-and-Western Music (Praeger, 1974)
The Second-Time Single Mans Survival Handbook , with William J. Gordon (Praeger, 1975)
Old as the Hills: The Story of Bluegrass Music (Viking, 1975)
Horseback Vacation Guide (The Stephen Greene Press, 1975)
Schooling to Show: Basics of Hunter-Jumper Training , with Anthony DAmbrosio, Jr. (Viking, 1978)
The Whole Horse Catalog , Editorial Director (Simon & Schuster, 1979, revised 1985, 1993, 1998)
The Complete Book of Horse and Saddle Equipment , with Elwyn Hartley Edwards, (Quarto/Exeter, 1981)
Ridings a Joy , with Joy Slater (Doubleday, 1982)
All the Kings Horses: The Story of the Budweiser Clydesdales (Viking, 1983)
The Beautiful Baby Naming Book (Simon & Schuster, 1984)
Riding for a Fall (Tor Books, 1988)
The Polo Primer , with Charles Kauffman (The Stephen Greene Press, 1989)
The Ultimate Fishing Guide (HarperCollins, 1996)
Caught Me A Big Un , with Jimmy Houston (Pocket Books, 1996)
The Complete Book of the American Quarter Horse (The Lyons Press, 1998)
Two Bits Book of the American Quarter Horse (The Lyons Press, 1999)
The Quotable Horse Lover (The Lyons Press, 1999)
Essential Riding (The Lyons Press, 2000)
The Illustrated Horsemans Dictionary (The Lyons Press, 2000)
The Greatest Horse Stories Ever Told (The Lyons Press, 2001)
Classic Horse Stories (The Lyons Press, 2002)
1001 Smartest Things Ever Said (The Lyons Press, 2004)
1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said (The Lyons Press, 2004)
1001 Insults, Put-Downs, and Comebacks (The Lyons Press, 2005)
1001 Funniest Things Ever Said (The Lyons Press, 2006)
The Best Advice Ever Given (The Lyons Press, 2006)
1001 Best Things Ever Said about Horses (The Lyons Press, 2006)
1001 Best Things Ever Said about California (The Lyons Press, 2007)
The Horsemans Dictionary , Revised Edition, with Jessie Shiers (The Lyons Press, 2007)
The Quotable Billionaire (Skyhorse Publishing, 2009)
APPENDIX A
A Checklist
(with reference to page numbers)
___ Notify survivors 3-4
___ Notify deceaseds employer 4-5
___ Locate Will and any organ donation card 5
___ Provide care for orphaned minors and pets 6
___ Stop newspaper delivery and other daily services 6
___ Cancel credit and charge cards 6-7
___ Secure deceaseds residence 7-8
___ Contact funeral home 12
___ Help fill out death certificate information 13
___ Answer funeral directors questions about deceaseds remains and wishes for service 14-24
___ Compose obituary 24-26
___ Plan funeral or memorial service 29-43
___ Compose and/or assign eulogy 36-41
___ Determine eligibility for a military funeral/ burial 41-43
___ Deal with grief 45-51
___ Help children cope with death 51-55
___ Grief counseling and therapy 55-61
___ Obtain copies of death certificate 64
___ Contact Social Security 65-66
___ Gather information about deceaseds property 66-68
___ Purchase a headstone 68-70
___ Dispose of the deceaseds personal effects 70-75
___ Serve as Executor 77-85
___ Take inventory of deceaseds assets and liabilities 87-89
Probate:
___ Filing the petition 89-90
___ Receive Letters Testamentary 91
___ Open estate bank account 92-93
___ Distribute gifts and other property 93-94
___ Pay taxes 95-97
___ Close estate 97-99
Alternates to probate:
___ Simplified affidavit procedure 99-101
___ Summary probate procedure 100-101
Estate planning:
___ Make a Will 104-110
___ Establish a living trust 111-115
___ Make alternate conveyances 115-118
___ Plan for your future 118-121
APPENDIX B
Funeral Practices
T he purpose of this material is to describe the funeral practices of major faiths in general terms. Because there can be variations even within the same denomination or group, anyone who is making funeral arrangements for someone of another faith and who is unfamiliar with such practices should consult with a leader, if any, of the deceaseds religious community.
BUDDHISM
A funeral ceremony in several Japanese Buddhist traditions resembles a Christian ceremony in the West, with a eulogy and prayers at a funeral home.
Cambodian, Thai, and Sri Lankan traditions may have up to three ceremonies.The first, held within two days after death, is conducted by monks at the home of the bereaved. In the second, which takes place within two to five days after death, monks conduct a service at a funeral home.There is always an open casket at the main ceremony and the guests are encouraged to view the body, as Buddhism considers the viewing as a valuable reminder of the transitory nature of life. Guests are expected to make a slight bow toward the body. Seven days after burial or cremation is the third ceremony either at the home of the bereaved or at a temple. It is called a merit transference and generates energy for the deceaseds incarnation.
All Buddhist traditions and sects quote from the Sutras, which are the collected sayings of the Buddha.
In the Tibetan tradition, a dying or recently deceased person will have certain religious literature read to them to guide them through the bardo transition period toward spiritual enlightenment.As the bardo is generally said to last a maximum of forty-nine days, these readings and other rituals will usually last forty-nine days. Accordingly, it is advisable to consult with the deceaseds sangha , or fellow practitioners, so that they may begin the appropriate rituals before, during, and after death.
CHURCH OF CHRIST, SCIENTIST
The Church of Christ, Scientist, does not designate special arrangements or rituals for funerals or mourning. Any service is conducted by a Christian Scientist who might be a reader, practitioner (healer), teacher, or a friend of the deceased. A service typically consists of readings from the King James Bible and from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures or some other writing by Mary Baker Eddy, the faiths founder. Any personal remarks or eulogy are in accordance with the familys wishes. There is no customary period of mourning.