Derek Flores - Seven Keys to a Peaceful Passing: A Hospice Nurses Step-by-Step Guide to Hospice

Seven Keys to a Peaceful Passing

A Hospice Nurses Step-by-Step Guide to Hospice

Derek J. Flores, RN

First Edition, April 2018

ISBN: 978-1-7322424-1-8

Copyright Derek J. Flores (2018). All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including informational storage and retrieval systems, photocopying, recording, taping, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Dedication

To my mom, Crisyour love, belief in me, and support have made me the man I am today.

I love you!

Prologue

A few years ago, a person asked me Whats your Dream Job?

I replied, Im doing it!

Besides being a parent, I believe being a Hospice Nurse is the most rewarding and impactful role Ive had in my life. Its not a job, its a Vocation. A Vocation is more than a job, its part of who you are at your core. It is what you were meant to be. My Vocation is being a Hospice Nurse.

Let me introduce you to Hospice Care by telling you a short story of two men I knew.

Michael, a man who had just reached the age of 80 was a successful corporate computer executive who had a beautiful family and had lived an unbelievable life. He had made all the right decisions in his youth and throughout his life. Paul hadnt. Paul, a man in his late 70s had a rough life, with failed marriages, lost houses, and no children in his daily life. He had been alone for many years. I had the opportunity to be the Hospice Nurse for both men during the same period of time.

When I arrived at Michaels home, which was in one of Denvers most exclusive neighborhoods I was greeted by an actual guard and other staff caring for the large yard. Conversely, Paul didnt really own anything. He was new to his home, having just moved from Arizona to live with his younger sister and her husband. The couple had created a beautifully decorated room for him with a large window that had a beautiful view of the Colorado Mountains.

Working with both men was an amazing experience for me because of the perspective comparing the two provided on life. One man was arguably what todays society tells us we should strive to be and the other was not. The irony is they both found themselves in identical situations. They were going to die soon.

On the face of it, neither had much in common with each other, but as time went on, I learned they both were Korean War Veterans. I was touched by knowing these two men for more than a few reasons. The first was they reminded me of people I had known over the years, mostly the men who had been influential in my life my teachers, uncles, coaches, and bosses over the years. They each reminded me of my dad and his buddies. What a wonderful generation!

What hit me the most is the fact we all end up in the same spot at the end of our life. You can make all the right decisions or you can make a series of what the world considers mistakes but death remains a constant. I think it is amazing we all still have the chance to leave this world with dignity, love, and respect. Both Paul and Michael were loved by family and friends in their last days. Michael had the benefit of these relationships for all of his life; Paul had them brought back in his last days. It was a good ending for both men and Hospice had a chance to play a small part in their stories. This is why I chose Hospice as my Vocation.

Introduction

T here is no greater gift I have seen than the devotion friends and family have shown for a loved one who is at the end of their life journey. My first encounter with this amazing compassion was the care and love my own grandparents received from my family.

I was blessed to have four living grandparents for the majority of my life. All four lived fairly long lives with the youngest dying in his early 80s and the oldest passing at 103 just a few years ago. The devotion and kindness I witnessed from my parents, as well as their siblings, was amazing. It inspired me and set the course for my own vocation. It wasnt easy for my family to care for aging parents. Their endurance was tested by doing this for many years. My Grandma Rita lived well past her 100th birthday. She had lived an amazing life which encompassed personal joy, tragedy and witnessing the unbelievable progress in daily life created by technology and social change. When she was finally called Home, it was a sad time, but also one of relief. My mom and I had joked about whether grandma would outlive us all. She was a strong and beautiful person.

Having the opportunity and privilege to be a small part of a persons life story is an amazing experience. I am forever changed by my five years in hospice. My hope is this book will empower the reader by transferring a portion of my knowledge and experience for the purpose of reaching their End of Life Goals. I also hope this effort in writing touches your heart in some way.

Who is this book written for? Its for anyone and everyone who has recently encountered the idea of hospice. Maybe you want more information about hospice for the benefit of a family member of a friend who is ill. Perhaps youve received this book as a gift from someone who knows your heart is hurting because someone you love is very sick and you just want to understand what they are going through. It may be you are a nurse or nursing student considering hospice as your vocation and you want to learn the basics.

The most important reader of this book is someone who has just been told they dont have long to live. My focus is to honor you and what is going on in your life through this transfer of knowledge. I am hopeful it will benefit you and your loved ones in more than one way as you embark on this journey. Peace be with you.

This text leverages my years of work as a Hospice Nurse to benefit people approaching death by empowering them, their friends, family members and caregivers with specific knowledge and inside information about how hospice works as well as specific language you can use to get the best Hospice Outcome for yourself or your loved one. Hospice is a human organization with many different moving pieces, quite often operating in an environment of rules and regulations required by the payers of hospice care. This book is a road map to navigate this complex and foreign situation.

In my preparation for writing Seven Keys to a Peaceful Passing , I noticed most of the books written by other Hospice Nurses are very heartfelt and sincere. This mirrors how we all practice nursing with our hospice patients. Hospice Nurses have big hearts! Their books are filled with personal stories about the lives and illnesses of amazing patients. What was largely missing from these books was practical advice on getting the best result for the hospice patient. Although I will share some wonderful stories with you, the emphasis of Seven Keys to a Peaceful Passing is to provide a down-to-earth resource. You will learn how the hospice system works, so you can maintain your focus on what really matters to you.