Sophie Kinsella - Mini Shopaholic

MINI SHOPAHOLIC

Sophie Kinsella

Contents

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Version 1.0

Epub ISBN 9781409094463

www.randomhouse.co.uk

TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS

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a Random House Group Company

www.rbooks.co.uk

First published in Great Britain

in 2010 by Bantam Press

an imprint of Transworld Publishers

Copyright Sophie Kinsella 2010

Sophie Kinsella has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

to be identified as the author of this work.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBNs 9780593059791(hb) 9780593059807 (tpb)

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2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1

For Allegra, mini-shopaholic-in-training

Also by Sophie Kinsella

THE SECRET DREAMWORLD OF A SHOPAHOLIC

SHOPAHOLIC ABROAD

SHOPAHOLIC TIES THE KNOT

SHOPAHOLIC & SISTER

SHOPAHOLIC & BABY

CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?

THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS

REMEMBER ME?

TWENTIES GIRL

For more information on Sophie Kinsella and her books, see her website at www.sophiekinsella.com

Tick Tock Playgroup

The Old Barn

Surrey

Mrs Rebecca Brandon 1 September 2005

The Pines

Surrey

Dear Mrs Brandon

We were delighted to meet you and Minnie yesterday. We are sure she will be very happy at our fun, relaxed playgroup and look forward to seeing you next week.

With kind regards

Teri Ashley

Play Leader

P.S. Please dont worry about the minor paint-squirting incident. We are used to children and we can always repaint that wall.

Tick Tock Playgroup

The Old Barn

Surrey

Mrs Rebecca Brandon 4 October 2005

The Pines

Surrey

Dear Mrs Brandon

Just a few confidential concerns about Minnie. Shes a lovely child with real liveliness.

However, she has to learn that she cant wear all the dressing-up clothes every day, and the princess shoes are not suitable for outdoor play. Perhaps we can discuss this at our upcoming parents and children activity morning.

With kind regards

Teri Ashley

Play Leader

P.S. Please dont worry about the minor glue-squirting incident. We are used to children and we can always revarnish that table.

Tick Tock Playgroup

The Old Barn

Surrey

Mrs Rebecca Brandon 9 November 2005

The Pines

Surrey

Dear Mrs Brandon

Thank you for your letter. Im glad youre looking forward to the parents and children activity morning. Unfortunately there will be no dressing-up clothes for adults, nor will there be any facility for swapping outfits with other parents as you suggest.

Im glad to say that Minnie has broadened her activities in playgroup and is spending a lot of time in our new Shop corner.

With kind regards

Teri Ashley

Play Leader

P.S. Please dont worry about the minor ink-squirting incident. We are used to children and Mrs Soper can always re-dye her hair.

ONE

OK. Dont panic. Im in charge. I, Rebecca Brandon (ne Bloomwood), am the adult. Not my two-year-old daughter.

Only Im not sure she realizes this.

Minnie, darling, give me the pony. I try to sound calm and assured, like Nanny Sue off the telly.

Poneeee. Minnie grips the toy pony more tightly.

No pony.

Mine! she cries hysterically. Miiiine poneee!

Aargh. Im holding about a million shopping bags, my face is sweating, and I could really do without this.

It was all going so well. Ive been round the whole shopping mall and bought all the last little things on my Christmas list. Minnie and I were heading towards Santas Grotto, and I only stopped for a moment to look at a dolls house. Whereupon Minnie grabbed a toy pony off the display and refused to put it back. And now Im in the middle of Pony-gate.

A mother in J Brand skinny jeans with an impeccably dressed daughter walks past, giving me the Mummy Once-over, and I flinch. Since I had Minnie, Ive learned that the Mummy Once-over is even more savage than the Manhattan Once-over. In the Mummy Once-over, they dont just assess and price your clothes to the nearest penny in one sweeping glance. Oh no. They also take in your childs clothes, pram brand, nappy bag, snack choice and whether your child is smiling, snotty or screaming.

Which I know is a lot to take in, in a one-second glance, but believe me, mothers are multi-taskers.

Minnie definitely scores top marks for her outfit. (Dress: one-off Danny Kovitz; coat: Rachel Riley; shoes: Baby Dior.) And Ive got her safely strapped into her toddler reins (Bill Amberg leather, really cool, they were in Vogue). But instead of smiling angelically like the little girl in the photoshoot, shes straining against them like a bull waiting to dash into the ring. Her eyebrows are knitted in fury, her cheeks are bright pink and shes drawing breath to shriek again.

Minnie. I let go of the reins and put my arms round her so that she feels safe and secure, just like Nanny Sue recommends in her book, Taming Your Tricky Toddler. I bought it the other day, to have a flick through. Just out of idle interest. I mean, its not that Im having problems with Minnie or anything. Its not that shes difficult. Or out of control and wilful, like that stupid teacher at the toddler music group said. (What does she know? She cant even play the triangle properly.)

The thing about Minnie is, shes spirited. She has firm opinions about things. Like jeans (she wont wear them), or carrots (she wont eat them). And right now her firm opinion is that she should have a toy pony.

Minnie darling, I love you very much, I say in a gentle, crooning voice, and it would make me very happy if you gave me the pony. Thats right, give it to Mummy Ive nearly done it. My fingers are closing around the ponys head

Ha. Skills. Ive got it. I cant help looking around to see if anyones observed my expert parenting.