Susan Magee - The Pregnancy Countdown Book: Nine Months of Practical Tips, Useful Advice, and Uncensored Truths

Copyright 2006 by Susan Magee

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number:
2005908353

eISBN: 978-1-59474-566-9

Layout Illustrations by Tina Healey

Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
quirkbooks.com

v3.1

One of the many things Ive learned in my career as an obstetrician is that every pregnancy and birth is a unique experience. No two birth stories are ever alike.

The only similarity is that all pregnant women experience a wide fluctuation of emotions. There is great happiness and joy. But there is also doubt, worry, and anxiety. I have seen many confident womenregardless of experience or educational backgrounddoubt their abilities to actually give birth and be a wonderful mother.

Many factors contribute to this pregnancy neurosishappy one minute, scared and doubtful the nextbut at its root is our fear of being completely out of control. We plan many aspects of our lives, and (if were lucky) well plan the exact moment we conceive. But from that moment on, pregnant women walk a fine line between thinking we are normal and feeling like a science experiment.

Even though Im an obstetrician/gynecologist, I had the same fears when I became a mother. I worried about the wine I drank before I knew I was pregnant. I worried that my newly implanted embryo would fall out if I exercised too hard. I could have used the reassuring advice that is in this book.

The key to minimizing your fears about pregnancy is to have as much accurate information as possible. There are many pregnancy books available that will give you the facts and details of pregnancy. Whats unique about The Pregnancy Countdown Book are the emotional details. Susan Magee walks you through every stage of pregnancy, day by day. Susan makes you feel like she is reading your mind. She allows you to experience your whole range of pregnancy-induced emotions without guilt. She will even make you feel proud of them!

Just as important, she will help you keep reasonable expectations of your significant other, so that your relationship survives. You will hold onto these pages because her humor and utter clarity about the essence of pregnancy will help you feel grounded and almost normal.

It amazes me how, as women, we question all of our abilities as mothers and feel we should be doing better. No matter whether we struggled to get pregnant, experienced many losses, or suffered a medical complication during pregnancy, we all think we should have done more. With this book, Susan Magee will help you let go of that negative thinking by giving you daily words of pregnancy wisdom. Most of all, she will help you understand that you will be a great motherbecause you care so much and want the very best for you and your baby!

Im going to tell you something about pregnancy that I wish someone had told me flat out, straight up, and early on:

Pregnancy is wonderful, joyful, and miraculous. But its also hard work.

Yes, pregnancy is hard work.

Thereits out of the closet and onto the page. (While you have the closet door open, go ahead and put away your wine glasses, sushi take-out menu, and favorite lace undiesyou wont be needing them for a while.)

Ive never read a pregnancy book that is willing to go out on a limb and have the word hard on the first page, let alone in the entire book. Many pregnancy books and Web sites have a code word for the difficulty of pregnancy: complex. In my mind, carbohydrates are complex. Pregnancy is in a whole other universe of experience.

Of the many books and Web sites Ive readpregnant women cant get enoughsome alluded to the difficulty by saying, youll have ups and downs, or its a tremendous change, or youll worry, but dont worry, youre normal. On one daring Web site, I found an article that was headlined, No one ever said pregnancy would be easy.

Close, but thats not the same as saying its hard.

Hard doesnt mean that you regret being pregnant. Hard doesnt mean youre not going to be a fabulous mom. Pregnancy is wonderfulvery wonderful. Its also joyous, enjoyable, funny, downright doable, and yes, hard.

Theres a reason why so many pregnant women become obsessed with their due dates (in fact, many will act like it was carved into a stone tablet and handed down by a bearded man in a flowing robe).

Its because your body is about to become a major science experimentcomplete with all kinds of messy, gooey, itchy side effectsand your due date marks the end of it. Even better, its the day youll get to meet your baby.

During the next nine months, youll have tons of doubts and questions:

Is my baby really going to come out with ten toes?

Am I really going to be a good mom?

Will I be able to manage work and a baby?

Will we have enough money?

Its hard to spend nine months with those kinds of big questions hanging over your head. So you count down the days as you head toward the answers. And you count down to all different kinds of milestones along the way.

In the first trimesterwhen youre likely to feel nauseated and exhausted a lot of the timeyoull be counting down to the second trimester, which is when most women start to feel better.

For women who have struggled to get pregnant, or who have had a previous loss or losses, the first trimester can be especially difficult. You may count down to every minor milestone along the waylike hearing the heartbeat and seeing your baby on the ultrasoundbecause your sanity depends on them.

Near the end of your pregnancyespecially if your due date comes and goes with no sign of any babyyou may start counting down the minutes. Ive been there, and it wasnt pretty. There I was, a full two weeks overdue, wearing the only pair of shorts that still fit over my gigantic belly. None of my shoes fit by then, either, and this was especially insulting because I had bought three new pairs in my eighth month. I had to go everywhere in a pair of my husbands flip-flops. I sobbed several times a day because my cervix showed no sign of budging on its own, apparently ever.

As weve all learned from the Tom Petty song, the waiting is the hardest part. And this is especially true for pregnant women. You will wait for your first doctors appointment, wait to hear the heartbeat, wait to have your belly show, wait to stop being sick and tired, wait for the baby to move, wait for the ultrasound, wait for people to stop touching your belly, wait for labor to start It doesnt end until your doctor or midwife hands you a baby and says, Heres your beautiful baby, and shes just fine. (Then youll wait for the baby to take naps, but thats my next book.)

So we count down.

This is the book I didnt know I needed when I was pregnant. Back then, I didnt have any validation for what I was feeling. A part of me was overjoyedbut another part of me, after realizing I still had weeks and months to go, just wanted to cry. I ended up getting validation much later, after meeting other moms and hearing the same things from them: Yeah, why doesnt anyone tell you how hard it is?