Jan Thatcher Adams - Football Wife: Coming of Age with the NFL as Mrs. Karl Kassulke

FOOTBALL WIFE

Coming of Age with the NFL as Mrs. Karl Kassulke

Jan Thatcher Adams, MD

FOOTBALL WIFE
PUBLISHED BY FRANKLIN GREEN PUBLISHING
500 Wilson Pike Circle, Suite 100
Brentwood, Tennessee 37027
www.franklingreenpublishing.com

Copyright 2011 by Jan Thatcher Adams

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, except for brief quotations in critical reviews and articles.

Digital edition: 978-1-93648-719-6
Softcover edition: 978-1-936487-04-2

ISBN 978-1-936487-04-2

Printed in the United States of America

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 1015 14 13 12 11

Cover design by Clifford Koidahl, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Cover photography by Judy Olausen, Minneapolis, Minnesota

To my wonderful sons
K URT and K ORY
who lived these days and years with me
and brought sunshine to my life

In Memoriam

Karl Kassulke

Otto Kassulke

Leona Kassulke

Kathy Kassulke

Rev. Willard Kassulke

Mildred Thatcher

Howard Thatcher

Wally Hilgenberg

Earsall Macbee

Dr. Pearl Rosenberg

Dr. William Stromme

Rose Embry

Dr. Hilmer Carlson

Dr. Albert Sullivan

Contents

Acknowledgments

L IKE EVERY author, I cannot begin to thank the many wonderful people who have played so many critical roles in my life and writing, both now and in the period this book covers. To all of you, I am forever grateful.

First, I must acknowledge Dmitri Gerasimenko, my incredible husband and my true better half, without whom I would not even be alive. My deep thanks to Jim Klobuchar for his sage advice that led me to Ian Graham Leask, my superb writing coach. I am deeply grateful to Ron Pitkin for walking me through the publishing of my first book.

The University of Minnesota Medical School shaped my life and career, and I am so thankful they gave me a chance to be a doctor at a time when women doctors, especially married women with children, were a rarity. At the university, I remain ever grateful to Dr. Pearl Rosenberg, Dr. Erskine Caperton, and Dr. Albert Sullivan.

My freshman year at Drake University on scholarship played a huge role in my life, and I am equally grateful to my parents, Karl Kassulkes family, Bud Grant, the Minnesota Vikings and the Vikings wives, Boone, Iowa, and all of Minnesota.

I want to acknowledge the ongoing encouragement I have received from my writer friends: Sarah Susanka, Antonia Felix, and Gloria Karpinski. And in the publication and publicity of the book, I would be lost without the input of Lee Gessner, Pat Lindquist, and Ed Curtis.

Finally, my beloved sons, Kurt and Kory Kassulke, are part of the reason I wrote this chronicle. They are the best and most special blessing that emerged from the challenge and delight of those years.

Foreword

A S A TEENAGER , I had an unusual and abrupt introduction into adulthood and marriage. Besides all the usual responsibilities of marriage and family, I was in a celebrity marriage to Karl Kassulke, a Minnesota Vikings football player, and neither my husband nor I had any idea what that would really mean to us. When my marriage failed and ended in divorce after nine years, I buried all my emotions away and never really dealt with them.

My life went on, and I grew to understand that all the difficulties that arise in a persons life are the stuff of growth and maturity, so Karl Kassulke remained in my heart for the many good things he was. And I remained grateful for the time we shared together and for our two beautiful sons.

Then, in 2008, thirty-five years after the divorce, two traumatic events stirred up all the old emotions. I nearly died from cancer, and Karl did die from a sudden heart attack. His funeral brought everything to the fore again, and it was clear that now was the time for me to actually achieve closure on these long-ago events.

Since I was a writer by avocation, I started to write the story of this fabled and failed marriage, intending it to be a journal of sorts. The more I wrote, however, the more I understood that the problems central to the failure of my marriage are still very much issues today. Drug abuse, alcoholism, codependency, adult children of alcoholics, infidelity, the cult of celebrity, and the recent devastating research chronicling the results of recurrent concussions among NFL players are all very important societal topics and can always use more light on them.

And so I decided to write and publish Football Wife. Its not just another kiss-and-tell book. There are real issues here, timeless issues that played out for me in a very public arena. Writing the book was therapeutic; Karls memory is in a peaceful place for me now. Since both Karl and I dedicated ourselves in later years to the service of others, it is my hope that Football Wife can be an inspirational read as well.

N OTE: Please see the glossary on for definitions and clarifications of terms as they are used in this book.

Prologue

B ESIDES RECEIVING TWO BEAUTIFUL sons from my marriage to football hero Karl Kassulke, I also acquired a ripping case of the clap. That was a sickening life lesson, harder than I could have imagined. Thirty-five years have passed since then, and most of my memories of that marriage have, like many of lifes troubles, faded to the fun, passion, and unique experiences we sharedbut a few still remain traumatic. The majority of the difficulties have become mild background chatter, but I will never be without reminders of a few whoppers. However, as one ages, parents, lovers, siblings, and friends die and stir up surprising reflections. In our coming of age together, Karl and I experienced a juicy and painful marriage that could not last, although love was therea long-ago chapter in my life.

October 28, 2008: Karl is dead, stricken with a sudden, midsentence, and totally unexpected heart attack at the age of sixty-seven. Hed recently been given an all clear after a cardiac exam. Our sons, forty-three-year-old Kurt and forty-one-year-old Kory, flew in from Los Angeles, California, and Wilmington, North Carolina, their respective homes. We drove together to the funeral home in Eagan, Minnesota, for Karls visitation. I was surprised as we turned in to the parking lot to find relatively few parked cars there. Given Karls forty-five years of Minnesota celebrity, I had expected to see hundreds of fans at his visitation, with a line out the door waiting to view his casket.

Instead, we entered the foyer and found no line at all. We werent late. We arrived just after 6:00 p.m., with two hours to spare. Despite ten years of playing for the Minnesota Vikings, All-Pro status, and frequent ongoing attention after football due to his injury, his altruistic efforts in the community, and his story of Christian redemption, told in his autobiographical book,