MaryAnn McKibben Dana - God, Improv, and the Art of Living

God, Improv, and the Art of Living

MaryAnn McKibben Dana

WILLIAM B. EERDMANS PUBLISHING COMPANY

GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN

Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.

2140 Oak Industrial Drive NE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49505

www.eerdmans.com

2018 MaryAnn McKibben Dana

All rights reserved

Published 2018

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ISBN 978-0-8028-7464-1

eISBN 978-1-4674-5055-3

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress.

Contents

For all that has beenThanks!

For all that will beYes.

Dag Hammarskjld

To my fellow improvisers: Marthame Sanders, Allison Gilmore, and Jim Karwisch; Ashley Goff and Casey FitzGerald; the Theology of Improv Facebook group; Jarad Schofer and Sexy Lawn Guy; Coonoor Behal, Erick Acua, and Crazy Eights; JC Calcerano and everyone at WIT; Liz Joynt Sandberg, Jeannie Cahill Griggs, Jay Steigmann, Jimmy Carrane, and everyone with whom I played in Chicago; Bagelz and Jam; Lisa Kays and the clergy improvisers; and LeAnn Hodges, David Westerlund, Paul Vasile, and Marthame for making magic happen in Kansas City.

I am thankful to the Louisville Institute for the Pastoral Study Grant that helped this book move from a hodgepodge of ideas to an organized piece of work, and to the Collegeville Institute for serving as an incubator at an opportune time. Lil Copan, Mary Hietbrink, Rachel Brewer, and the entire Eerdmans team gave this book their most enthusiastic support, and for that I am grateful.

Countless congregations (as well as Columbia Theological Seminary) invited me to come and share this content through retreats, conferences, sermons, and classes. Thank you for your openness, your questions, and your sense of adventure, all of which helped shape this book. Andrew Foster Connors, Lisa Hamilton, Mara Rosenberg, Keith Snyder, and Beth Palmer offered their experience and heartthank you.

I couldnt have done this without my family, especially my mother, in-laws, and siblings, and my chosen families: the Well, RtR, MRTT, Gini/Kelly/Kristen, the Ragnarians, and the Badass Clergywomen.

And Robert. Our family is my greatest Yes. Thank you doesnt feel like enough, but its all I have to offer, which means it is enough indeed.

The exercises here, provided chapter by chapter, can be used to deepen the reading experience of this book. The Try It exercises are more reflective in nature; both individuals and groups can benefit from working through them. The Play Together activities are simple improv games that even beginner groups can do to engage more meaningfully with the book. All you need for these activities is a group with a willing spirit and an atmosphere of trust. (Interestingly, these exercises help create that spirit and that trust. Youre building the bridge as you walk on it.)

Feel free to adjust the activities based on the needs of your group (e.g., people with limited mobility can do many of the games seated). If the instructions arent clear to you and youre unsure how to proceed, make a choice and go for it. Fun and exploration are the goals, not perfection. If you can, end the play while the energy is still high.

Each of the group exercises here has been chosen to complement a specific chapter. Some connections may be obvious; others may be more indirect. But thats the nature of improvit doesnt follow a linear path or lead to a pre-set outcome. It may be helpful to debrief after every exercise with questions like these: What about this exercise was hard for you? What was easy? What did you notice about how the group worked together? One of my teachers likes to debrief with a simple Tell me about it. Dont worry if the resulting conversation doesnt relate to the chapter topic. Trust the process.

PRINCIPLE 1: SAY YES

Chapter 1: Live Yes-ly

Try It

Do a Yes audit of your life. Take a day and pay attention to every time you say Yes and every time you say No. Dont try to change anything at this point; just notice. Are there certain situations or people who elicit one or the other? Whats that about?

Play Together: Thats Awesome!

Have the group form itself into a loose circle, sitting or standing. Then go around the circle, having each person say something thats true about themselves. It can be absolutely anythingcleverness isnt required. I have brown shoes. I had a flat tire on the way here. In response, everyone else pumps their arms into the air and exclaims Thats awesome! in unison. The game helps people get to know each other and reinforces saying Yes to other peoples offers.

Chapter 2: Accept What We Cant Change

Try It

Make the serenity prayerI mean the improvisers prayera regular part of your day, in whatever way works for you. Post it somewhere youll see it regularly. Say it to yourself each morning or evening, or during your commute, or when a loved one is trying your nerves. Write it out in a journal or on a white board each day. Live with it for a week and see what happens.

Play Together: Die! Not Today! (with optional puppies)

Have the group form itself into a loose circle. One person starts by looking at someone across the circle, throwing an imaginary knife, and saying Die! The recipient catches the knife unharmed and says Not today! Then the recipient passes the knife to someone else in the same way. Have the group continue until each person has received and thrown a couple of times.

Optional next step: Keep the knife going around the circle, but start a separate motion of someone lobbing an imaginary basket of puppies while saying Basket of puppies! Now everyones job is to pass the knife while also protecting the puppies. This helps people pay attention and cooperate. It also gets people laughing. (And I havent lost a human or a canine yet.)

Note: Some groups find the violent subtext of this game disturbing; others find Not today! an affirmative statement of survival and defiance. You know your people. Feel free to substitute other words and motions to pass around the circle. Use your imagination.

Chapter 3: Listen for Gods Yes

Try It

How does Everything happens for a reason strike your ears, mind, and heart? In what ways does it make sense to you? In what ways do you recoil from it? Take a page from Exodus, a way out. Look back on a moment in your life when everything seemed to come together. Brainstorm all the other wonderful ways it could have turned out too. Have fun with it!

Play Together: Zen Count

Have the group gather in a tight circle, either with eyes closed or with people looking down, not making eye contact. The object of the game is to count from one to twenty-one, one voice at a time. Simple? The catch: any time two people speak at the same time, the group starts over with one. This game encourages slowing down and engaging a different kind of listening. I cant explain how it works, but it does. Continue past twenty-one if you wish. I was in a group once that got past ninety. Remarkable!

Chapter 4: Say No to Say Yes

Try It

A friend recently shared the story of her divorce. She told me that even though her marriage was ending and it was painful, she always thought of it as a YesYes to a more happy and abundant life in the long run. Think about a difficult experience youve had. How would you reframe it as a Yes? You dont have to find that Yes convincing. Just give it a try, and give yourself grace to react to it in any way.

Play Together: Yes, Move

Have the group gather in a circle. One person begins by looking at another person in the circle and saying his or her name. The second person says Yes, which gives the first person permission to begin walking to Person #2s spot. Person #2 must now ask another person for permission to move, and wait for a Yes before heading for the new spot. And so it goes. This exercise reinforces giving and receiving permission.