Ken Druck - The Real Rules of Life

Praise for The Real Rules of Life

In this elegant, groundbreaking book, Ken shows us how to rise out of the ashes, turn adversity into opportunity, and transform our pain into love.

Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series

When life kicks you below the beltand sooner or later its bound toread this book. This must-have guide belongs in every library.

Ken Blanchard, co-author of The One Minute Manager and Great Leaders Grow

For anyone who has ever had their heart broken, The Real Rules of Life provides powerful tools for healing and support. I highly recommend it.

John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

I highly recommend this fine new book by Ken Druck. Read it and put his hard-won wisdom to work for you.

Gay Hendricks, Ph.D., author of Five Wishes and co-author of The First Rule of Ten

An amazing book whose time has come! Its real, its accurate, and it offers insights each one of us can use. Read it, live it, and share it with everyone you know.

John Assaraf,New York Times best-selling author of The Answer and Having It All and CEO of PraxisNow.com

If you are wonderingor have ever wonderedwhy your life isnt unfolding the way you expected or wanted it to, this beautiful book is full of incredibly useful insights and guidance. Let it serve as a clear road map on the sacred journey home to love, peace, healing, and joy.

John E. Welshons, author of One Soul, One Love, One Heart and Awakening from Grief

The Real Rules of Life is a must-read for those seeking to turn serious personal, professional, and organizational challenges into opportunities for a better, brighter future.

Daniel Burrus, author of the New York Times bestseller Flash Foresight

Also by Ken Druck, Ph.D.

The Secrets Men Keep: Breaking the Silence Barrier
Healing Your Life After the Loss of a Loved One
How to Talk to Your Kids About School Violence

Copyright 2012 by Ken Druck

Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk Published and distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.za Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com Published in India by: Hay House Publishers India: www.hayhouse.co.in

Cover design: Jonathan Friedman Interior design: Jenny Richards

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private useother than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviewswithout prior written permission of the publisher.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Druck, Ken.

The real rules of life : balancing lifes terms with your own / Ken Druck.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-1-4019-3971-7 (hbk. : alk. paper) 1. Conduct of lifePsychological aspects. I. Title.

BF637.C5D78 2012

158dc23

2011050024

Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-4019-3971-7
Digital ISBN: 978-1-4019-3973-1

15 14 13 12 4 3 2 1
1st edition, May 2012

Printed in the United States of America

To Stefie, my Earth daughter.
It is my honor to be your father.
My love, forever.
Your PB

W riting a book may the closest a man gets to giving birth. Next to helping deliver my two daughters, Jenna and Stefie, writing this book is the most daunting act of creation I have undertaken in this lifetime.

And so, with all the feelings of a new father, I give my heartfelt thanks to my wise and beautiful daughters, dear friends and book reviewers, family, and beloved, Lisette, whose honesty, faith, and clarity guided and supported me through a long gestation, labor, and delivery.

Special thanks to Michael Levin for his steadfast editorial direction and guidance, and Reid Tracy and my new family at Hay House for embracing my newborn and helping me send it out into the world where it may flourish.

L ife has rules.

They just may not be the ones you think.

It starts on the playground or sitting around the kitchen table as a kid. The early bird gets the worm, were told. Slow and steady wins the race. Play fair and people will play fair with you. Good things happen to good people. Keep your faith, and your dreams will come true.

From day one, these are the rules were taught to live by. We get them from our parents, our teachers, and our culture at large, and as we grow older, they form the foundation of our hopes, expectations, and beliefs. In theory, its a great system. All we have to do is treat people fairly, set positive goals, and work hard to achieve them. Since life is fair, everything works out in the end.

Heres the catch: these rules arent real.

If youre reading this book, chances are youve already discovered that the rules you thought were real are not. Things you were told turned out not to be true. Lifes not fair. Good things dont always happen to good people. Your heart breaks, you feel betrayed by people you trusted, and sometimes you even lose those you love. No matter how hard you work, how diligently you pray, or how respectfully you treat other people, the truth remains: life will have its say.

In this book, I want to share with you the Real Rules of Life. Theyre not the rules youve heard a hundred times before, and theyre not always what youd expect. Some of them are going to be a relief, a welcome aha! affirming what you have always known in your heart. Others may feel terribly uncomfortable and hit painfully close to home. Together, they all make up the subtle, simple truths of how life really is. That includes lifes many mysteries, blessings, uncertainties, and the vast unknowingness were asked to live in day by day. At times, these truths can seem overwhelming. They can leave us feeling so empty that we just dont want to face them. Yet the chapters ahead will explain why it is in our best interest to do exactly that. Understanding and boldly coming to terms with how life really is, sooner rather than later, positions us to live the rest of our lives fully awake. Making peace with what weve been avoiding or running away from, perhaps since childhood, allows us to ripen as human beings.