Marjorie J. Thompson - Courage for Caregivers: Sustenance for the Journey in Company with Henri J. M. Nouwen

A S ONE WHO KNEW Henri Nouwen personally, and whose life and ministry has been shaped in countless ways by his presence and teaching, I consider it a high privilege to have been asked to write Courage for Caregivers. It has given me a priceless opportunity to revisit my years of elder care alongside my husband, John Mogabgab, who worked with Henri for five years at Yale Divinity School. More, it has afforded me the great joy of renewing my acquaintance with Henris wonderfully generous gifts of written and spoken materiala true treasury of spiritual wisdom.

I am much indebted to all who have helped in the visioning, development, and production of this book with its related resources. Karen Pascal, executive director of the Henri Nouwen Society, invited me to take on the writing task and offered encouraging support all along the way. The consultation Karen called together in September of 2016 helped shape a vision of caregiving with the distinctive imprint of Henris wisdom on care. My deep gratitude to those in attendance, including Sue Mosteller, Stephen Lazarus, Rachel Davis, Judith Leckie, Angela Caffrey, and Judith Cooke, several of whom offered continued support by reading and critiquing early chapter drafts. Special thanks to Stephen Lazarus, editorial advisor for the Henri Nouwen Society, who sent an array of quotes suited to the caregiving theme and supplied many needed citations, helping me to negotiate Henris voluminous writings.

From the side of our Church Health partners, I owe much to Rachel Davis, who initiated me into the mysteries of audio-recording cell phone interviews and served as liaison with Church Health principles involved in supporting the project. Church Health founder and CEO Dr. Scott Morris has championed the collaborative project, and Brad Martin, longtime friend to Church Health and board member, has generously underwritten the endeavor. Finally, I could not have accomplished this writing without the thoughtful and experienced eye of Susan Martins Miller, whose constructive critique and fine-tuned sensibilities made her the ideal editor, and who contributed directly to the writing of Appendix B, which has widened the ways this book can be used even as awareness of caregiving needs expands. Not least, I wish to express my heartfelt gratitude for those who gave me permission to conduct and tape interviews. They gave hours of precious time to share their own remarkable stories of giving or receiving care, along with inspiring spiritual and practical insights to share with our readers. Thanks, and a deep bow, to Lindsey Yeskoo, Donna Thomson, Karen Shepherd, Vanessa Beasley, Cyndy Wacker, Judy Hazlett, Tracy Hilts, and Michelle ORourke.

I TOOK A RATHER circuitous route on the way to discovering Henri Nouwen.

During my time as a television producer in the 80s and 90s, I produced five seasons of a current affairs programtopical events viewed and discussed from a Judeo-Christian perspective. The series featured interesting and varied guests on each episode. Newsmakers, authors, artists, business people, environmentalists, activists, politicians, and pundits were a grand menagerie of engaging and articulate individuals.

As much from personal curiosity as from professional inquiry, I quickly acquired the habit of asking each guest what she or he was currently reading. I wanted to know what fueled them, what fired their passions, their minds, their spirits.

I anticipated that the reading selections they offered would be as eclectic as the group itself. However, to my surprise, books by a spiritual writer named Henri Nouwen were mentioned and recommended again and again, titles such as The Return of the Prodigal Son, The Wounded Healer, Gracias! and Life of the Beloved.

I dont recall exactly which of Henris books I read first, but I do remember the feeling I had when I began reading. It was as if the author was writing about me, as if he was looking into my heart, parsing and describing my lifes experience. My hopes, my hurts, my brokenness. I was consoled. I was inspired. I was hooked.

A few years after being introduced to his books, I tracked Henri down at his home at LArche Daybreak, situated just north of Toronto. And when I say I tracked Henri down, thats exactly what I mean. Henri was an extremely busy man. Besides contributing to the care of core members at LArche, Henri was also the communitys spiritual director. In addition, he traveled extensively. The popularity of his books made him a much sought-after speaker in North America and beyond. Yet he still made time to write, to pray, and to respond to the many letters he received each day from friends, colleagues, and even complete strangers asking him for counseling and spiritual encouragement.

He reluctantlyyet graciouslyagreed to allow me to feature him in one of my programs. Less than two years later, Henri died of a heart attack on his way to do a documentary in Russia on The Return of the Prodigal Son. Like everyone who knew him, either personally or through his books, I was shocked and heartbroken, but I knew instinctively that Henris legacy would live on. Henri himself had written that if our deepest human desire is to give ourselves to others, then death will be a final gift that will continue to bear fruit long after we die.

Henri died, but he never died. His legacy lives on and continues to bear fruit in the lives of many people who, like me, stumble upon his books in any number of ways.

Henri recognized that Gods love is not diminished by our trials, losses, and brokenness; rather its in the midst of our pain where we often experience it most deeply. In your role as a caregiver, whether in a professional capacity or one who was thrust into the role by circumstance, I pray that you will find comfort, encouragement, and courage within these pages. And may you continue to find the depth of Gods love in your life as Henri found in his.

Karen Pascal,
Executive Director
Henri Nouwen Society
Toronto, Ontario

I FIRST MET HENRI NOUWEN when I was a student at Yale Divinity School and he was on the faculty. He was coming into his popularity as a spiritual writer at the time, and as a result he had groupies on campus who hung on every word he said and seemed to follow him everywhere he went. It wasnt long before I joined those who were drawn into wanting to be closer to him. He was a magician with words, and in five minutes he made you think he had used a straw and could directly access the marrow of God. In the fall of 1978, I was with him in the hallway outside the mail room. I told him I needed help to better find a sense of peace in my life that would let me listen to God speaking to me and my sense of calling around the issues of faith and health for the poor.