Addie Johnson - Life is Sweet: 333 Ways to Look on the Bright Side and Find the Happiness in Front of You

First published in 2008 by Conari Press,

an imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

With offices at:

500 Third Street, Suite 230

San Francisco, CA 94107

www.redwheelweiser.com

Copyright 2008 by Conari Press. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

ISBN: 978-1-57324-323-0

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

available upon request

Cover and text design by Jessica Dacher.

Typeset in Baufy and Exuberance Primary.

Printed in Canada

FR

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of the American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials

Z39.48-1992 (R1997).

For Bailey and Daniel, the best happiness hunters I know.

Thanks to the folks at Conari for all their help and encouragement, to Bailey for taking nice long naps so I could write, and to all my family and friends for the wealth of stories and insights.

Years ago, a friend of mine shared with me the secret of happiness. It used to be on a sign at a donut shop in the Midwest. It read,

As you wander through your life, friend,

whatever be your goal,

keep your eyes upon the donut

and not upon the hole.

That's it. The more we focus on what is good and right in our lives and in the world, the better and sweeter life is. And the more we notice what's wrong, lacking, broken, or messed up, the worse we feel. It's all there, donut and hole, misery and bliss. How we feel all depends on which part we pay attention to. Simple, right?

Not so. Because so many of us are so very, very talented at embracing the hole or even insisting that the hole is all there is. Or at least, like me, falling into the hole on a regular basis for all kinds of known and unknown reasons.

That's why this book of Addie Johnson's is so important. It's chock-full of ways to make sure you stay focused on all the calorie-free donuts in your life: friends and family, nature, love, stuff and no stuff, purpose and passion. And, unlike any of my books 'cause I tend to be oh-so-serious about everything, even happiness, it even offers a bunch of jokes so you can experience the joy of laughter.

Addie is real and wise and silly, just the right companion to help you discover just how sweet life is. Enjoy.

MJ Ryan, author of

The Happiness Makeover

introduction

Joy delights in joy.

William Shakespere

Life is just a bowl of cherries, right? Or pears. Or maybe it's a bed of roses. All of those quaint old sayings seem to have lost a bit of their charm in the bustle of modern life. Cherries have pits and are sprayed with pesticides. Who knows what a bed of roses actually is besides a metaphor? And living life on the sunny side of the street is a sure risk for skin cancer.

We struggle with war, poverty, global warming, rising crime rates, a barrage of news, hardly any of it good. People get sick, they die, they get divorced. Civility is as rare as gentleman doffing their hats. Celebrities have fabulous lives, but you don't. And the If only's threaten to take the day: My life would be sweet if only I were richer, more famous, thinner, younger, older, had a better job, lived in a different city....

Who's happy? My friends are miserable, my family has shouted at each other through each of the last four holiday seasons, all the dogs I know are neurotic, and even the people on television are letting me down. And I don't mean the newscasters; I mean the fictional, made-up, don'teven-have-real-lives-or-real-problems people. They aren't happy either! I'm not happy a lot of the timeI worry too much, get down on myself at every opportunity, tend toward laziness and self-pity.

But before I labeled myself an unhappy lump for life, I thought I'd try accounting for all the times I notice something that makes me smile, or laugh hysterically, or walk around for a whole afternoon with a spring in my step. Maybe I am at least a little bit happy.

I have family and friends I love deeply, a husband I'm head over heels for, and I get to fill my days mostly with stuff I like to do that furthers my personal and professional goals. I am blessed to run a theatre company with some of my favorite people in the world, and lucky enough to carve a living out of acting and writing. And look, here's a bowl full of fresh fruit on the table from the farmer's market, chemical free. Happiness is all around, if I stop to take a look. Whoa, stop the presses. Or rather, start the pressesI've got a book to write.

Recently our apartment was burglarized and our computers were stolen. Two days after the burglary, after changing the locks and cleaning up the mess, we got on an airplane for a cross-country flight. We pulled out of the gate and sat in the plane on the tarmac for close to five hours before finally taking off for our sixhour flight. Our almost-two-year-old son was booked as an infant and was sitting on my lap, and we'd gone through all our snacks and activities by the time we got in the air. The flight turned out just finewe all arrived safely, we were able to entertain our son, and he ran up and down the aisles until the flight attendants were cross-eyed. The upside? Now we know we could take him to Japan on a direct flight, no problem.

A burglary, losing a computer with a month's worth of unbacked-up work, an annoying air traffic control snafu... why am I even bringing these up? These things are not tragedies; they can't even compare to the frustrations and suffering experienced by huge masses of people around the world every day. But they are just the sorts of things that can demoralize us, chip away at our well-being, and threaten our most precious commodityour happiness.

Through my travels, conversations, and research, I've come to the conclusion (and I ain't the first or the last to come to it, let me tell you), that after the basic needs of survival are met, the pursuit of happiness is the most important thing we do in our lives. Why else would we spend so much time thinking about it, making art about it, hoping and wishing and planning for it? If we're putting all that energy into happiness, why aren't we happier? Well, a lot of it has to do with what we think it means to be happy. Our definition is all screwy. Even though I know better, I catch myself at least fourteen times a day thinking about how happy I will be when I get through my dentist appointment, or deposit a bigger paycheck, or when I don't have any more stinkin' problems. And as I'm thinking those things, I fail to appreciate the little things that are making me happy right this moment. The wind in my hair, the crunch of an autumn apple, my kid's toothy smile, a great movie, a catchy tune. It's all in how I look at itand if I'm keeping a tally, there are at least as many positives as negatives. Even better, if I want to I can tip the scales to the sweet side once in a while.

You cannot poof yourself happy. And nobody else can eitherno fairy godmother or perfect imagined spouse, no guru or fitness instructor. If you got everything you wanted (or thought you wanted)poofright now, you'd certainly feel happy for a little while. But scientists who study this stuff, and spiritual leaders, and that wise old lady across the street all know one thing: feeling happy doesn't come from getting everything you think you want for nothing. It comes from dreaming about your goals and working to reach them. And it comes from paying attention to the little things in life that trigger a feeling of happinessif you let them. It's great when the outcome of your efforts is what you want, but that's all really icing on the cake.