Huda Fahmy - That Can Be Arranged: A Muslim Love Story

To Gehad.

From His signs is that amongst yourselves He created spouses for you to find tranquility in them; and He put affection and mercy between you.

(Quran 30:21)

Dear Reader,

I cant wait for you to get into this not so once upon a time tale of love, life, and low self-esteem. In case the cover didnt give it away, I am a Muslim woman who wears the hijab. That means I cover my hair in public and also wear long, loose clothing to cover the shape of my body.

Because I consider my character an extension of myself, I have made the personal choice to never draw her without hijab. I bring this up because I dont want you to be confused when you see my character sleeping or going to the salon in her hijab and mistakenly assume that its normal hijabi behavior. SO, for the record:

I do not shower with it on.

I do not sleep with it on.

I do take it off to get my hair done.

I do take it off at ladies only weddings.

I do not cover when Im at home.

I do not cover in front of my husband.

I also want to mention that arranged marriages come in many shapes and sizes. Some couples meet before they wed, while others might not see their betrothed until the day of. Arranged marriages are not to be confused with forced marriages. Contrary to popular belief, forced marriages are not allowed in Islam.

And, this really should go without saying, but say it I shall: this book is specifically about my life experiences and should not be used to make assumptions or generalizations about Muslims as a whole. We are not a monolith. Please remember that, just like with anything else, experiences vary from person to person and culture to culture.

Thank you for reading! And if youre like me and usually skip the preface of a book, enjoy being confused about Huda wearing a hijab to bed.

Sincerely,

Abaya: Arabic word that refers to the long, loose-fitting dress worn by some Muslim women.

Allah: the Arabic word for God; the One who created everything and deserves all worship

Aunty: a woman who is middle-aged or older who offers unsolicited advice to anyone in a five-mile radius. Most powerful around other aunties. Will ask you to marry her son upon first meeting you.

Bint: Arabic word meaning daughter of

Ilm: Arabic word used to describe religious pursuits of knowledge

Islam: a monotheistic faith; the religion of Muslims. The Arabic root of the word means submission to God.

Muslim: a follower of the religion of Islam. Arabic word meaning one who submits to God.

the Prophet (peace be upon him): Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) was the last and final messenger sent by God as a guide for all mankind and to whom the holy Quran was revealed.

Qadr: destiny that was decreed for us before we were even born but can sometimes be changed by appealing to God through worship, prayer, and good deeds

Quran: the words of God revealed to His prophet, Mohammed (pbuh). The central religious text of Islam.

Salam: the shortened greeting Muslims give each other either coming or going. It is an Arabic word meaning peace. The full greeting is assalamu alaikum, meaning peace be upon you.

Shay: Arabic word meaning tea

Sheikh: a leader in a Muslim community usually known for their knowledge of the religion. Slang: can be used ironically to refer to anyone with vast amounts of knowledge: ex., Sheikh Google.

Shik Shak Shook: popular song by Hassan Abou El Seoud played on repeat at weddings

Yallah: slang Arabic word meaning come on or hurry up

Zagharit (zaghrouta) : celebratory ululations, usually high-pitched and shrill (the more shrill the better)

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman of 25 will probably never get married. Well... that was the truth in my community anyway.

As fate would have it, I would actually meet my future husband a few months after I turned 25.

I dont know if I believe in love at first sight, but I do know that when I first saw my future husband onstage that day about to introduce the next speaker at the weeklong conference we both happened to be attending, I thought one thing:

Daaang.

He was calm under pressure, too.

I wouldnt say I was head over heels. I mean, I barely knew the guy. But, somehow, I had this feeling that he was going to be the one. Or at least I really, really hoped he was.

But look at me! Ive gotten far too ahead of myself. Lets rewind.

I had my first ever crush at five years old.

He laughed at my jokes and made me feel less like the weirdo I always thought I was.

My God, what simpler times.

I was convinced we were going to be together forever. I couldnt believe I was lucky enough to have found my soul mate at only five years old!