Venkataraman - Arranged Marriages

ISBN : 978-981-08-5759-2

P RODUCE OF I N10CITY

July-2010

Good Heavening Listeners. Welcome to this special edition of 33.3 IM Readio, the first ever radio on print. As the mavericks on board the vessel on the first expedition, to locate In10city, we had boxed a lot of our conversations that we smoked in the various smoking rooms of the vessel and now replaying them for you.

ARRANGED MARRIAGES

Human beings and animals have been long differentiated for their so called evolutionary progress. Though both species are capable of love and concern, human beings have taken to the creation and legislation of various procedures in order to justify and demonstrate their love unions, separations and so on. This statement to the human coupling became known as the marriage institution.

How then, the age-old habit known as marriage cultivated, and what sort of resolution does it offer?

This institution designed to unite human beings in so called eternal love and commitment is ideally brought about by human attraction and affection. There is however, that cultural phenomenon known as arranged marriages in which a union is prefixed by parents and elders for the greater good of their children.

In an attempt to dissect the habit of marriage and the highly idealized nature of its existence, we examine it from the viewpoint of the much frowned upon subject of arranged marriages and match-making. Love in itself is highly romanticized by popular culture. The culmination of love is marriage, and the media sells us the idea that marriage, as a union must always be based on love.

When we question the validity of marriages, we delve into the nature of the union in itself, which leads us to question love amongst human beings.

Is love a soul connection or can it be harvested and developed when two human beings are forced to co exist together in a legally binding union?

If love is merely a seed that can be cultivated from the human elements of patience and exploration, does this mean that there is no difference whatsoever between arranged marriages and love marriages? What then is the basis of the human connection, if it exists at all?

We explore these questions and more in our excavation of the age-old contract between man and wife. This honeymoon for the habitual harpers shall inspire embraces and quarrels in the parks where no lovers have tread before.

A rranged marriage in my opinion is an extremely unhealthy concept because it forces two people to spend the rest of their lives together. The parties involved are not allowed to meet someone of their liking in a non-prearranged manner and allow their relationship to develop, which causes the relationship in itself to be one based on fabrication.

In arranged marriages, it is the opinions and desires of others that dictate the forming of the relationship and the eventual marriage. Also, arranged marriage in itself denotes a form of slavery.

Arranged marriage is definitely an imposition by tradition because it forces individuals to come together under the rigid rules based on the opinions of others. The fact that something has been done for centuries does not justify it. But, unfortunately, society is most often incapable of viewing this blatant truth and, more often than not, so willingly accepts age-old practices as the truth while labeling it as wisdom. In reality, tradition is not wisdom but hegemony and enslavement through imposition.

In many cases, both or one party involved does not even wish to get married. Some do so in order to satisfy the selfish desires of their parents. Some do so, entrusting their presumptuous parents with their well-being but fail to see that it is themselves who are going to be trapped in the marriage (mirage or marred cage) for years.

Any type of structure that does not facilitate an individuals freedom to find, fall in love and frolic is one that is oppressive and unhealthy. A cage is designed to capture, and even if it has flora and twine on its bars, it is still a cage. In arranged marriages, they sometimes provide both parties involved with feigned freedom, where they can play with the flowers on the cage bars and run around the area where the cage is situated, but the desired outcome is always for both parties to go into the cage and run the wheel for the rest of their lives.

In my opinion, arranged marriages are nothing but another polished way of practicing communism within a family setup.

It is actually disgusting to think that parents practice all these and then talk like big shots about freedom.

The partners in an arranged marriage are not different from people who are being forced and sold into the flesh market.

What is the big difference? The marriage function is just a cover-up. The parents of both the spouses make sure that they get the maximum benefit in cash or kind, and the opinions of the two people do not matter. In the name of society, religion, status, and prestige issues, they force the marriage.

Yes, definitely, arranged marriage is an imposition on the lives of the victims in the name of tradition and culture.

In my opinion, arranged marriages are nothing but another polished way of practicing communism within a family set-up.

I completely agree with RJ Phlox. Just like in communism, the parties involved are told that this is for their own good. But, in reality, the only interest being taken care of is that of the monetary benefactors, the parents.

A life of willful prostitution has more freedom than life in an arranged marriage. At least a prostitute (who is one out of her own will) gains the monetary benefits of having to fornicate with a man she does not want to fornicate with. In an arranged marriage one has to live, have sex with, look at every day and basically tolerate someone he or she has absolutely no deep seated love for.

What could be more torturous than this?

In my opinion, arranged marriages can be healthy or unhealthy, depending on the individual.

For the most part, an arranged marriage is something that many cultures across the world subject their offspring to, simply because they believe that it is tried and tested. Usually, this kind of thinking stems from the need to uphold tradition. They are afraid that, with migration/globalisation, their ethnicity will cease to exist. For example, the Greeks are a minority race in many countries (Australia, USA, etc.) and are extremely proud of their cultural background, so it poses a huge problem for the elders when a younger person from the family falls in love with someone of, say, Irish heritage. Surprisingly, the Greeks within Greece itself are open to the idea of marrying someone who is not Greek. I think that in India, there are so many states, districts, languages, and castes that people think it is important to differentiate themselves from one another by marrying off their sons or daughters to individuals who are the same or at least similar.