Patricia McBride - The Assertive Social Worker

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THE ASSERTIVE SOCIAL WORKER

The Assertive Social Worker

Patricia McBride

First published 1998

by Ashgate Publishing

Published 2016

by Routledge
2 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon OX14 4RN
711 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10017, USA

Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business

Copyright 1998 Patricia McBride

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers.

Notice:
Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
McBride, Patricia
The assertive social worker
1. Social workers - Psychology 2. Assertiveness training
I. Title
361.3

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
McBride, Patricia, 1946- .
The assertive social worker: Patricia McBride.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 1-85742-421-2 (pbk.)
1. Social workersPsychology. 2. Social workersAttitudes.
3. Social workers-In-service training.
4. Assertiveness (Psychology) 5. Assertiveness training. I. Title.
HV40.M445 1998
361.3'2'019-dc21 97-44525
CIP

ISBN 9781857424218 (pbk)

Transfered to Digital Printing in 2014

Contents

Figures

Tables

Would you like to feel more in control of yourself and your work? Cope comfortably with any demands the day throws at you? Deal easily with situations without guilt or worry?

All of these things are possible because you can control your behaviour.

If you're not in control of your mind, who is?

People sometimes worry that becoming assertive will change their basic personality, make them someone that others won't want to know. In fact, when people become truly assertive (as opposed to aggressive) the opposite happens. People like being around assertive people because they are open, honest and respectful of others whilst also looking after their own needs.

Another worry sometimes expressed is that learning to be assertive is too difficult because of well-established behaviour patterns stemming from childhood. This is a realistic concern. We all behave in the way we do today because at some previous time in our life such behaviour has served us well. Perhaps we fear speaking up against the majority because in our family of origin this brought condemnation or mockery. Perhaps we react aggressively to situations because that was the only way to get heard as a child. Perhaps we are sarcastic to others because as a child this helped us to retaliate without tears.

So we should never blame ourselves for behaving in a way that was once appropriate - as children, we do what we can to get love. However, as adults, such behaviours may no longer be appropriate. Now, as social workers and probation officers, we must be able to speak up for ourselves and clients. We must be able to keep calm when provoked. We must be able to negotiate in an adult way.

Overcoming early conditioning is, of course, difficult. You could go into years of therapy to increase your confidence and communication skills. But there's another way: learn to be assertive. Treat these new ways of behaving as simply a skill. You have learned many new skills in your life, and what once seemed difficult is now everyday - driving is a good example. By treating assertiveness as a set of skills you can improve your communication and your self-esteem. Because by behaving more assertively you will feel happier about yourself. You'll feel in control of yourself and any situation. Not only that, people will respond to you differently, with more respect, and that in itself will increase your self-esteem.

Remember, being assertive is a skill like any other - you can learn new techniques and improve your ability with practice. But, like any new skills, the first steps can feel daunting. Let's use learning to drive as an analogy for the steps to learning:

• Step 1: Unconsciously incompetent - Before we start learning to drive we don't go around all day thinking, 'Oh dear, I don't know how to do a three point turn!' We just go about our daily business completely incompetent in terms of driving skills.
• Step 2: Consciously incompetent - Now we start driving lessons. Suddenly it is painfully clear what we don't know. The driving instructor tells us to turn left at the top of the hill. Panic! So many things to remember. Will we ever learn to indicate, look in the mirror, check over our shoulder and change gear all at once? This is a very uncomfortable stage in the learning process.
• Step 3: Consciously competent - We're getting the hang of this driving business now. The driving instructor tells us to turn left at the top of the hill and we calmly talk ourselves through the process, 'Indicate, look in the mirror, check over shoulder, change gear.' We can do it but we still have to think about it.
• Step 4: Unconsciously competent - We arrive at work completely unaware of the journey, our thoughts having been miles away.

The same process will be true when you learn and begin using assertion skills. You will become much more aware of your own behaviour, as well as that of others. You'll be more reflective of how you handled situations. Sometimes you'll crunch the gears, other times you'll negotiate a tricky corner smoothly and effortlessly. All perfectly normal in the process of learning.

So don't be hard on yourself. If you oversteer and behave in the opposite manner to that intended, just learn from the experience. If you avoid that skid with ease, reflect on the skills used so that you can repeat them.

Treat this book as a journey, a revisiting of your old and well-trusted communication skills and a trip to some new ones to help guide you through every aspect of your life. Being assertive is exhilarating, it can turn your whole life around. Relax, trust yourself and enjoy the journey. Good luck in your swocial work or probation career.

Social work is a stimulating and exciting job. It is also a frustrating and exhausting one - so many demands on your time, so much knowledge to carry in your head, so many different personality types to deal with. Indeed, it is easy to get so caught up in the challenges of the work that it becomes difficult to see the wood for the trees. When this happens we can fail to step back and look at our communication style and how it affects our interaction with others. We can also overlook how our style may affect our stress level.

Let's look at typical situations in which assertive communication skills and a calm approach are needed by social workers:

• a case review where your views differ from the majority of the meeting
• being questioned in court by an aggressive barrister
• a client suddenly shouting and shaking a fist at you
• a colleague failing to undertake their share of the work
• a boss giving inadequate supervision
• an elderly, confused person smearing faeces for the third time in a day

These and many other difficult situations are the everyday lot of the social worker. Whether it's face-to-face work with clients, telephone communication or dealing with colleagues, there is always a challenge around the corner.

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