Simon and Schuster - The 5 essential people skills: how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts

Also available from Dale Carnegie Training

Leadership Mastery

DALE CARNEGIE TRAINING

Fireside A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. 1230 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10020 www.SimonandSchuster.com

Original edition copyright 2004 by Nightingale-Conant
Text edition copyright 2009 by Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Fireside Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Fireside trade paperback edition November 2009

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Manufactured in the United States of America

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
The five essential people skills : how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts.1st Fireside trade paperback ed.

p. cm.(Dale Carnegie training) (A Fireside book)

1. Interpersonal relations. 2. Interpersonal communication.

3. Assertiveness (Psychology) 4. Communication. I. Simon and Schuster, Inc.

HM1106.F55 2009
158.2--dc22 2009013970

ISBN 978-1-4165-9548-9
ISBN 978-1-4391-3476-4 (ebook)

Dale Carnegie has done more than perhaps any other person to change the field of human relations and personal development. His world-famous program, The Dale Carnegie Course, has helped literally millions of people.

Looking back on his early years, Mr. Carnegie saw that worry and fear were the two forces that prevented him from achieving his own personal success. Conquering these two self-defeating emotions brought Mr. Carnegie a new perspective and new success. As a result, he made it his mission to help others overcome worry and fear so they could achieve their dreams.

Now, with this book, you too can benefit from the nine decades of insights into human relations that millions of people have discovered from Dale Carnegie Training. After experiencing The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts, youll gain the ability to focus on the factors that will move you and your organization forward. Youll discover and be able to apply these proven practices, which will assist you in feeling empowered, respected, and at ease in any business or personal communication. They will improve your confidence while training you in the ways to get your message across with greater esteem, power, and clarity.

The primary achievement of this book is to identify and explore five essential people skills: rapport building, curiosity, communication, ambition, conflict resolution. But this is really just the beginning. As youll see, a number of chapters extend and develop the five skills in new and exciting directions. So, as you move through these pages, be flexible in your thinking and proactive in applying the information you gain. Starting right now!

To achieve maximum benefits from this book, dont procrastinate. We suggest that you simply devote five minutes (or more) to begin reading. As you proceed through the book, be sure to complete the Action Steps section at the end of each chapter. These exercises are practical steps you can take immediatelyin your work or with your family and friends.

Whenever possible, give yourself a deadline, and hold yourself accountable for following through on that deadline. If you do not implement the action steps that you have mapped out for yourself, this book simply becomes an exercise in reading. While this is definitely effective, you will gain the full benefits that this valuable book has to offer you by working through the action steps. Make the life-changing choice to act upon your insights, ideas, and strategies, and you will achieve results that you never dreamed of.

Gain strength from the positive and dont be sapped by the negative.

Dale Carnegie

Just over seventy years ago, Dale Carnegie published a book that remains one of the most influential works of the past hundred years. Whats more, it will probably be one of the most influential in the next century as well. That book is called How to Win Friends and Influence People. The title could not be much clearer, could it? The ideas that it contains are every bit as clear, and as valid, today as they were in 1936, when the book first appeared. Although How to Win Friends and Influence People is a monumental document in the history of personal development, it was a true groundbreaker when it first appeared. Before the publication of Dale Carnegies book, the whole concept of people skills didnt really exist. Yet today we take it for granted that some approaches are better than others in human interactions.

Dale Carnegies book put forth timeless human relations principles that remain essential today. In fact, their influence is greater than ever before. With the advance in technology and the speed of business, those who master interpersonal skills not only are a greater asset in todays workplace but achieve greater success. Computers and cell phones have made a big difference in our lives, but the importance of effective people skills has not diminished and it never will.

It really is impossible, however, to discuss a topic like people skills (especially in a business environment) without referring to the Internet, cell phones, and emails. These things are everywhere. Where you go, they go. The new technologies have certainly sped up the way things get done in the modern workplace, but theyve also raised the expectations of how fast things need to get done. Today, people dont say they need something done tomorrow. They need it yesterday. Its strange but true, and its also something of a paradox. Work in many ways has become easier and faster, but work-related tensions are probably higher than ever before. Stress is everywhere and alwaysand we all know that when tensions are high, the potential for friction between individuals rises proportionately.

This is the reality were living in. Theres no getting around it. This is the environment in which we must learn to succeed. And when I say we, I mean you, no matter who you are or what your career path might be. It doesnt really matter what area of the economy we are in, because the same forces are at play everywhere. So youd better get on board. Dale Carnegie said it very well: No matter what your line of work, even if its in one of the technical professions, your degree of success depends on your ability to interact effectively with other people. Despite the fact that the technical professions are now the most potent sector of the American economy, those words still hold true.

In the chapters that follow, were going to be looking closely at exactly whats involved in assertive interactions. Our exploration will be quite selective. Weve deliberately tried to make the subjects covered in this book very specific and sharply focused. The purpose here is not to say everything but to say a relatively small number of things very well. There are already fine books on the market dealing with conventional topics like effective listening or the keys to making a good sales presentation. But why cover ground thats been thoroughly explored? Instead, were going to be looking at new areas, including five in particular: rapport building, curiosity, communication, ambition, and conflict resolutionplus other topics that are natural extensions of these.