The Karma of Love
Books by Geshe Michael Roach
THE GARDEN
THE DIAMOND CUTTER: THE BUDDHA ON STRATEGIES
FOR MANAGING YOUR BUSINESS AND YOUR LIFE
HOW YOGA WORKS
KARMIC MANAGEMENT: WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND,
IN YOUR BUSINESS AND YOUR LIFE
THE ESSENTIAL YOGA SUTRA
THE TIBETAN BOOK OF YOGA
KING OF THE DHARMA: THE ILLUSTRATED LIFE OF
JE TSONGKAPA, TEACHER OF THE FIRST DALAI LAMA
THE EASTERN PATH TO HEAVEN
A GUIDE TO HAPPINESS FROM THE TEACHINGS
OF JESUS IN TIBET
THE PRINCIPAL TEACHINGS OF BUDDHISM
KING UDRAYANA AND THE WHEEL OF LIFE
THE LOGIC AND DEBATE TRADITION
OF INDIA, TIBET, AND MONGOLIA
PREPARING FOR TANTRA
THE BOOKS OF THE FOUNDATION COURSE IN BUDDHISM,
ASIAN CLASSICS INSTITUTE (ACI)
THE BUDDHIST MEDITATION AND PRACTICE MODULES, ACI
THE BOOKS OF THE DIAMOND WAY COURSE IN BUDDHISM, ACI
Copyright 2013 Geshe Michael Roach
All rights reserved. Without the authors permission, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except by a newspaper, magazine, or on-line reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review.
Published in 2013 by
Diamond Cutter Press
55 Powderhorn Drive
Wayne, New Jersey 07470
Cover design by:
Geshe Michael Roach & Georgina Rivera
Interior design by:
Geshe Michael Roach & Robert Ruisinger
Printed in India by
Fine Grains (India) Private Limited
117 Pocket A-4 Konark Apartments
Kalkaji Extension, New Delhi 110019
India
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-937114-06-0
www.diamondcutterpress.com
www.KarmaOfLove.com
TABLE OF CONTENTS
FOREWORD
I grew up in Arizona, had a normal American youth and the normal encounters with girls, and then after high school went east to attend Princeton University. I excelled in my schooling, and was even awarded a medal for scholarship from the President, at the White House. It seemed like my life was charmed, that I was headed for great things.
And then one night all of that changed. I was in a meeting at the university chapel for volunteers who wanted to help do something about world hunger. The priest took a telephone call, and then came and touched my arm and asked me to come with him to his office. There he told me that my mother had just died. My charmed world was shattered.
In the time that followed, I received two more phone callsone that my younger brother had died, and another that my father had passed as well. In this sea of grief it seemed that staying in college, and in the life I had expected, held little meaning. I left school and journeyed to India, searching for answers.
I had the good fortune to meet some Tibetan monks, and gradually became a monk myself. I stayed in Tibetan monasteries for more than 25 years, and was the first westerner in six centuries to receive the degree of Geshe, or Master of Buddhism, from the great monastery of Sera Mey.
To finish this degree I had to undergo many testssuch as a 3-week public examination by hundreds of the monks, all in the Tibetan language. My main lama in the monastery, Khen Rinpoche, proposed for me an additional test: Could I go to New York, start a diamond company, and make a million dollars, to prove that I understood the principles of karma which I had been taught in the monastery? We would then give the money to Tibetan refugees to help with their food and other needs.
Re-entering the world, especially the world of New York City and a business as potentially dirty as the diamond business, was the last thing I wanted to doso I avoided his advice for many months. In the end, though, the Lamas word prevails, and I had to go.
I did help to start a company, called Andin International Diamond, and helped bring it towards its $200 million in annual sales. The company was recently purchased by Warren Buffett, one of the worlds wealthiest people. With the money I earned at the company, I was able to help refugees and many other people.
Our firm was one of the fastest-growing companies in the history of New York, and naturally that drew some attention. I was approached by Doubleday Publishers and asked to write a book about how we achieved our success by using the principles of karmathe principles of helping others.
And so I wrote a book called The Diamond Cutter, named after a famous sutra which explains karma and its flipside, the Buddhist idea of emptiness. This book has become a business bestseller around the world, translated into some 25 languages, and is used by millions of people; it is especially popular in the Chinese edition, and has helped many people achieve financial independence.
Inevitably, people began to ask me to come and give talks about the book. In the years since it was written, I and my colleagues at the Diamond Cutter Institute have conducted business seminars and retreats for thousands of people in many countries. During these programs we often hold small break-out groups called Wisdom for Daily Life, where participants have a chance to ask questions about their own companies and careers.
One day, during a program in China, a woman in one of these groups asked if I would answer a question not about business, but about her relationship with her husband. Did the Diamond Cutter Principlesthe principles of karmic seedsalso apply to her family life? I answered that of course they did; that karmic seeds in our mind are responsible for everything and everybody around us.
Suddenly a dam broke and everyone in the group began asking pent-up questions about the most intimate issues of their relationship with their spouse or partner. In that moment I realized that taking care of peoples spiritual needsand needs like housing and money and foodwas not enough. Our intimate relationships are the source of perhaps the greatest happiness in life; and they can also be the source of our greatest pain. If we want to be happy, and if we want the world to be happy, then we have to get this relationship thing right!
The ancient tradition of the Buddhist monks, surprisingly, has much wisdom to offer us about our relationship with our partner. First of all there is an open tradition of tens of thousands of peerless books of knowledgebooks which inform us of where everything in our life is coming from, including everything about our partner. These are the teachings on karmic seeds.
There is also a secret tradition, called the Diamond Way, thousands of years old, which offers us new and extraordinary ways of relating to our partnerof reaching high and incomparably beautiful places with them. These teachings even say that the Buddha himself attained his enlightenment only with the help of Tilottama, a lady who came to be his partner at the bidding of the highest beings of the universe. The description of how they attained spiritual perfection in each others arms, as the sun dawned in a new day, is one of the most moving passages in the literature of the world.
As for my own qualifications in composing a book about the Karma of Love, I feel that I was most fortunate among all my fellow monks in that I had been through relationships before becoming a monk (most Tibetans enter the monastery between the ages of say 7 to 12). I knew what women were aboutI knew the joys of a relationship, and I knew the very painful problems. My own parents had gone through a heart-wrenching divorce, that terrible combination of loving each other and not being able to stay with each other.