Kailyn Lowry - Hustle and Heart

A POST HILL PRESS BOOK

Published at Smashwords

Hustle and Heart

2016 by Kailyn Lowry

All Rights Reserved

ISBN: 978-1-61868-815-6

ISBN (eBook): 978-1-61868-814-9

Cover photograph by Jonpaul Brown

Interior Design and Production by Greg Johnson

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author and publisher.

Post Hill Press

posthillpress.com

Published in the United States of America

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P leasure and pain come naturally. Gratitude takes practice.

In general, we seem to spend more time thinking about the stuff that bring us down than the things that hold us up. We should count our blessings every day. Unfortunately, many of the most valuable things in our lives are things we almost never think about.

For all the time we spend comparing ourselves to other people, youd think wed be more blown away by the good things in our lives. If you have a place to live and you dont think thats amazing, you need to take some time to imagine yourself in the shoes of the millions of people around the world who are sleeping on the street tonight.

Its not that youre not allowed to complain. Just because someone else has it worse doesnt mean your problems are invalid. There are few things I hate more than when people dismiss someones own experiences and feelings by comparing them to some totally different situation. I would hate to do that.

Of course the good things in our lives dont make us immune to pain and sadness. The luckiest girl in the world can still have her heart broken, and she deserves to cry as much as she want without anyone popping in to say, Hey, at least you dont live in a dumpster.

Its not like I live in a constant state of gratitude. Look at me. Im publishing a book, something very few people ever get to do, never mind more than once. And you better believe Ill complain about a thing or two before we get to the last page.

But heres the thing. Gratitude isnt an obligation. You shouldnt just try to be grateful because it makes you a better person. You should try to be grateful because it gives you a better life. When you stop to think about the things you take for granted, youre turning up the volume on the good stuff in your life so that its not drowned out by the bad stuff. And when you practice this kind of gratitude, sometimes you can turn up the good stuff until its all you hear.

Gratitude is a way to create moments of happiness in spite of whatever is going on in your life. And you know what? Not always, but sometimes, it does have an effect on what you take seriously.

When artists paint pictures, theyre always stopping to step back and look at their work from a distance. To get the details just right, the petals of a flower or the eyelashes of a portrait, they have to work close to the canvas. But if they stay zoomed in and focused on that one flower for a long time, they run the risk of making it too bold or too big for the rest of the picture. If they never stepped away to look at the whole thing, they wouldnt be able to keep all the details in harmony.

You see where Im going with this. When you get hung up on something thats bothering you, it helps to stop and think about how close you are to the canvas. Is the problem really as big as you think it is? Or are you just so focused on it that its taking up your whole view?

But forget about problems. Gratitude isnt just a way to make yourself feel better. Gratitude is happiness. Think about it. What is happiness but gratitude for what we have?

Im grateful for so many things. My children, my family, my friends. Those are the biggest blessings in my life and the main part of my picture. You cant miss them. Im thankful for them every single day. It takes more practice to remember the things that are harder to see, the little details that quietly add up to what we call happiness.

Im grateful that I have a body that lets me run, jump, dance, have children and keep up with them. Not everyone has the freedom of good health, and one day it wont be so easy for me to hop in and out of cars or run up and down stairs without a thought. Whatever body image issues you go through in life, be grateful for what your bones and muscles let you do.

Im grateful for the fact that I was born in a place where women have the freedom to follow their dreams, get an education and make their own decisions about who to be with and where to live. No one can force me to get married or to stay in a relationship that doesnt make me happy. If you enjoy those basic rights, youre luckier than many women around the world. Every bit of power you have over your own life is something to be grateful for.

Im grateful for my constant desire to better myself and my life. Statistics are not kind to people with roots like mine. I was born into poverty with an alcoholic single mom who bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend and place to place. I acted up in school, smoked too much weed, had sex too youngthe list goes on. Now that Ive escaped poverty, addiction and abuse, it would be easy to call it good. But theres something inside me that wont let me settle. Somehow, even though I should have been doomed to the low standards of the life I was born into, theres a passion in me that pushes me to make the most of my life.

I know how lucky I am. I know how good I have it. I know how narrowly I escaped a darker path. And Im grateful. I practice being grateful every day. And I am thankful for my happiness.

But that doesnt mean I cant be happier. That doesnt mean I cant want more.

I know I wouldnt be the first person to tell you that you should always be true to yourself, even when it means going against what other people say. Thats one of the biggest clichs there is, and thats because its good advice. Do what feels right. Trust your gut. Listen to your heart.

But, honestly? Those words should all come with fine print.

Im not saying theyre wrong. If theres one thing I believe in, its that you should know yourself, love yourself and be faithful to who you really are.

But the fact is, being true to yourself is often the hardest thing youll ever do.

I know, I know. I set you up to think I was going to say something totally different from what everyone usually says, and then I said another thing youve heard a million times. But stay with me for a second.

When people say it takes strength to be true to yourself, what theyre usually talking about is the fact that other people wont always understand. Sometimes, following your heart causes confusion and resistance from the people around you. Especially when what you truly want comes as a shock to them, or goes against what they believe is right.

And its true. That aspect is really, really hard. Being true to yourself often means rejecting the advice of people you trust, and sometimes it even means scaring people who care about you and want you to be happy, but disagree with how to make that happen. Its hard for them and its hard for you. Because when youre doing what you truly believe is right, theres nothing you want more than to be supported. When all you get instead is disappointment and disapproval, it can truly break your heart.

This is all important to think about, which is why its smart to say that being true to yourself takes courage and strength. But what Im saying is that theres even more to it than the challenge of going against the grain.