Linda Abbit - The Conscious Caregiver: A Mindful Approach to Caring for Your Loved One Without Losing Yourself

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Interior design by Heather McKiel

Cover design by Frank Rivera

Cover images 123Rf/Kostins

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Abbit, Linda, author.

The conscious caregiver / Linda Abbit.

Avon, Massachusetts: Adams Media, 2017.

Includes index.

LCCN 2017021313 (print) | LCCN 2017026689 (ebook) | ISBN 9781440597732 (pb) | ISBN 9781440597749 (ebook)

LCSH: Caregivers. | Caregivers--Mental health. | Home care services. | BISAC: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Eldercare. | FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Aging. | SELF-HELP / Aging.

LCC RA973.5 (ebook) | LCC RA973.5 .A23 2017 (print) | DDC 362.14--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017021313

ISBN 978-1-4405-9773-2

ISBN 978-1-4405-9774-9 (ebook)

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Simon & Schuster, Inc., was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

DEDICATION

For my parents, Aida and Al Brodsky, who modeled what caregiving is and allowed me the honor of caring for them.

For Robbie, who adds a wonderful dimension to my world and is the light of my life.

For Jeff, who supports me every step of the wayin everything I undertakeand provides much love and laughter daily. I could never have done this without you!

There are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.

Rosalynn Carter, First Lady of the US and president of the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving

Caregiving for a loved one is made up of special times filled with love, devotion, and compassion. And caregiving can bring opportunities to learn more about your own character and your loved one. But caregiving is also filled with huge responsibilities, exhausting days, struggles, and worriesand caregivers often find themselves wrestling with burnout, guilt, and high levels of stress.

It should come as no surprise that a physically and emotionally healthy caregiver is automatically a better caregiver, but how can you take care of yourself when youre so busy taking care of someone else? Enter The Conscious Caregiver .

Here youll learn to use mindfulness techniques to pause, notice exactly what is happening around you, and then respond in a way that is a win-win for both you and your loved one. Youll also find a variety of ways to practice self-care every day, even if you have only five minutes to accomplish it. By using these techniques and others like them, youll learn how to become a more relaxed, focused, confident, and, most importantly, conscious caregiver. Your care recipient and your family will not be the only ones who will notice and appreciate your positive attitude and calm approachyoull benefit greatly too!

How do I know so much about conscious caregiving? In addition to working in the eldercare field and volunteering for the Alzheimers Association, I was a caregiver to both of my parents. As their caregiver for more than ten years, I faced many of the questions that youve either experienced or may experience in the future, including:

How can I practice self-care?

How do I know if I should move my loved one from his or her home, and when is the right time?

How do I deal with the guilt and sadness I feel?

How can I use mindful communication to talk with my loved one about sensitive topics?

What is hospice, and what does this service provide?

What do I do after caregiving ends?

Throughout this book youll find answers to these questions and more. Youll also find a variety of case studies that show how other people have and are dealing with their caregiving struggles. Finally, Ill provide a number of exercises that will help you step back, be mindful, and figure out the best way to take care of your loved one.

The highs and lows along your caregiving journey will be unique to your particular care recipients and familys situation. But whether youre currently caregiving or are soon to be, whether youre taking care of a loved one from far away or from your very own home, whether youre taking care of your parents and your own kids at the same time, this book will show you how to embrace the importance of self-care and how to make time to be the most conscious caregiver you can be. Good luck on your journey.

Family caregivers have multiple jobs. In a single day, you can go from being a chef and chauffeur to a nurse and medical advocate, and every day can be different. In this chapter, you will learn why its important to self-identify sooner rather than later as your loved ones caregiver, how caregiving affects your emotional state, and how your care recipients emotional status changes as she ages. Youll also examine the impact of role reversal and role confusion as a result of these new family dynamics.