Erika Katz - Coach Parenting: Raising Teenagers with Advice from Pro Footballs Greatest Head Coaches

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Published by River Grove Books

Austin, TX

www.rivergrovebooks.com

Copyright 2017 Erika Katz

All rights reserved.

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Cover design by Greenleaf Book Group

Cover images by Mliberra and Billion Photos. Copyright 2017.

Used under license from Shutterstock.com

Whistle icon made by Yannick from www.flaticon.com; Football, goal, megaphone, helmet, lasagna icons made by Freepik from www.flaticon.com

Cataloging-in-Publication data is available.

Print ISBN: 978-1-63299-143-0

eBook ISBN: 978-1-63299-144-7

First Edition

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

W hen I first had the idea for this book, I never dreamed I would get to speak to Super Bowlwinning coaches, Pro Football Hall of Fame players, and legendary broadcasters. Then I was introduced to Bob Costas, who shared his intelligence and wisdom with me. His encouragement was truly a gift, and this book would not have taken form without him.

Steve Mariucci, thank you for teaching me how to draw a legal football formation and for sharing your stories about your football career and your family life. Your short film Father Figures is a testament to how coaching and parenting really are one and the same.

Troy Aikman, I loved learning about your football experiences and all the life lessons that came with it. Howie Long, your commitment to your sons, your community, and the game of football is an inspiration to us all. Jimmy Johnson, you have inspired me to expect the best of myself and my children each day. Thank you to Tom Coughlin for showing by example how to parent with strength and inspire a future generation to give back to the world. Lawrence Tynes, I am grateful for your help and for teaching me to be at my best when it counts the most.

John Harbaugh, your exuberance and energy made me feel like anything is possible, and every day I think of Whats Important Now! Jim Harbaugh, you taught me how to be a teacher to my children, and nowto parents everywhere. Brian Billick, you inspired me to not just be a mother to my children but to also be their role model. Dave Wannstedt, your commitment to family and faith helped me bring those values into my home.

Barry Switzer, I love your stories, your sense of humor, and the fact that you always do what you say youre gonna do! Mike Shanahan, you taught me about preparation in both football and the field of life.

Dick Vermeil, from you I learned that while caring is the best part of parenting, its also sometimes the hardest. Mike Zimmer, you made me understand how just putting an arm around your child and speaking to them kindly can be all they need to make a change.

Tiki Barber, I enjoyed learning the many ways you can teach the same lesson. Thank you to Jedd Fisch for sharing your thoughts on coaching both college and pro athletes. To my Dartmouth familyJay Fiedler, Buddy Teevens, and Steve Lewinsteinthank you for your Big Green support and your belief in me and this book.

Dr. Mark Unterberg, your vast knowledge of sports psychology and what makes a great coach gave me a whole new perspective. James Dunning Jr., your dedication to making the sports experience better for young players has transformed the lives of many young athletes.

Thank you to Marlene and Eddie Landau and Alan and Linda Landis for helping with my first interview. Your belief in me meant so much, and I am grateful for your support. Jerry and Donna Slipakoff, you were there from day one cheering me on. Thank you for believing in my project and introducing me to Coach Vermeil.

Thank you to Lyss Stern for telling me I could do this every single day! Rafael, your excitement to read my unedited notes gave me the encouragement I needed to power through draft after draft. To Amy Rosenblum and Drew Auer, thank you for your excitement and passion for Coach Parenting.

And finally, thanks to my mom, who is my biggest cheerleader; to my dad, who taught me how to be a writer and encouraged me to keep writing; and to my brother, whose humor got me through many a writers block. Thank you to my husband, Jay, for your love, support, and encouragement every step of the way, and for watching every episode of A Football Life and Hard Knocks with me, embracing coach parenting in our home, and teaching me about football. Thank you to my children, Stone and Somer, for making me so proud each and every day to be your mom. You are my championship team!

This book is dedicated to

my son, Stone, and my daughter, Somer.

I know as your mother I am supposed to be the teacher and the coach. But I learn so much from both of you every day. Stone, thank you for teaching me about football and being so supportive of this book. Somer, thank you for your energy and your encouragement as I embarked on this journey. You both inspire everything I do, and I am forever grateful to have such loving, kind, and supportive children. I love you both with all of my heart.

Introduction

THE PREGAME START PARENTING LIKE A COACH

M y son had just turned fourteen. I walked into the den and saw a pair of sneakers on the floor at the foot of the couch. I said, Honey, before you go out, can you please put your shoes in your closet? (His room is about ten feet from the den, so I was not asking him to climb stairs or exert himself.) A day later, I asked again, Sweetie, will you please put your shoes in your closet? Another day went by, and those smelly sneakers were still there! I marched into his room and sternly said, If your sneakers are not picked up in five minutes, I am throwing them in the garbage.

He looked at me in disbelief and said, Fine. At a snails pace, he picked up his shoes and tossed them into his room. Not exactly the Yes, Mom, Ill put them neatly in the closet that I had hoped for.

A week later, after the second half of his varsity basketball game, his coach asked him to pick up his sneakers, the sneakers of four other players, some cones, and three balls. My sons response? Yes, Coach. Im on it.

I turned to the coach and said, How did you do that? It takes me three days to get him to pick up one pair of sneakers!

His coach laughed and said, You just gotta be firm from the get-go and let him know you mean business. At that moment, it dawned on me. I had to stop parenting like a mom and start parenting like a coach!

That night, I scrolled through Amazon to find books written by successful coaches. I came across The Score Takes Care of Itself by Bill Walsh, the late head coach of the San Francisco 49ers. I thought, If he could coach football greats like Joe Montana, maybe he could teach me something about coaching my teenagers. I ordered the book and found it was chock-full of ideas on how to be a better communicator and motivate players to be their best. It inspired me to delve deeper into the world of football coaching. After all,