Erika Katz - Bonding over Beauty: A Mother-Daughter Beauty Guide to Foster Self-esteem, Confidence, and Trust

This book is intended as a reference volume only, not as a medical manual. The information given here is designed to help you make informed decisions about your health. It is not intended as a substitute for any treatment that may have been prescribed by your doctor. If you suspect that you have a medical problem, you should seek competent medical help. You should not begin a new health regimen without first consulting a medical professional.

Published by Greenleaf Book Group Press
Austin, Texas
www.gbgpress.com

Copyright 2011 Erika Katz
All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the copyright holder.

Distributed by Greenleaf Book Group LLC
For ordering information or special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Greenleaf Book Group at PO Box 91869, Austin, TX 78709, 512.891.6100.

Design and composition by Greenleaf Book Group
Cover design by Greenleaf Book Group LLC
Cover and interior illustrations by Ted Dawson

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-60832-241-1

Ebook Edition

This book is dedicated to mothers and daughters everywhere.

Say mother-daughter relationship and immediately you usher in a host of beliefs, expectations, notions, and myths surrounding how that relationship is supposed to be. Each and every daughter wants her mom to be loving, accepting, nurturing, supportive, understanding, and trustworthy. Each wants a mom who she can turn to, who she can share her problems and secrets with, and who will make it all better and make her feel safe again. Each little girl wants to look up to her mom, respect her, and believe in her as a role model. She wants somebody with whom she can identify and who will help her gain the confidence she needs to grow into a secure young woman.

How hard should it be for a mother to love her daughter and accept, listen to, support, and understand her daughters needs and feelings? It should not be that difficult to be that friend she can count on when the challenges of growing up seem so overwhelming.

Yet, mother-daughter relationships are far from simple. They are conflicted, difficult, and for so many, a tremendous source of disappointment, riddled with misunderstanding and resentment.

Often, mothers try to help and take care of their daughters by telling them what to do. After all mother knows best. What typically follows is all down hill. The well-intentioned help is perceived as control and criticism by daughters. Rather than moms being able to share what they know in a supportive and helpful way, mother-daughter interactions often turn into giant power struggles, with each feeling rejected by the other.

Additionally, some moms, despite their best intentions, end up missing in action because they are simply too busy and overloaded in their lives to pay the close attention often needed to steer their daughters in the right direction. And finally, some moms, due to cultural differences, simply do not know how to relate to their daughters or be empathetic to what they are experiencing.

So whats a mom to do? How can we find the road into our daughters hearts? How do we give them the guidance and advice so desperately needed in a way that will be welcomed and appreciated?

Heres exactly where Bonding over Beauty by Erika Katz comes to the rescue!

Erika knows first hand how hard it is to be a mom and how difficult it is to be a daughter left to your own devices. She was a young child actress who had to grow up fast. Surrounded by grown ups who assumed she knew what to do as a young girl, she was forced to fend for herself. But adolescence is punctuated by land mines and any one can explode and leave you facing an embarrassing, humiliating, and shameful situation. If this happens, it can become a freeze frame in time that can reverberate and plague a girl for a lifetime. In fact, thats what happened to Erika when she got her period. She got it publicly, during a photo shoot with everyones eyes on herand she was wearing a leotard. Nobody had told her what to expect, nobody had explained what a period was, and so she was completely blindsided.

This devastating experience fueled her desire to protect and prevent other young girls from going through what she did. This passion led her to write a book for girls explaining everything they needed to know that she believed could make or break a childhood, in case their moms didnt tell them.

But then Erika had an Aha! moment: its not the daughters but the moms who need to knowwhat to say, what to do, and most significantly, how to bond with their daughters so they can create and share the positive, loving, supportive relationship each wants. As a trained psychotherapist, I talk to mothers and daughters all the time. I also talk about sex on my Lets Talk Sex radio show. I find many of the issues girls face in the tween years are much like the topic of sex: most people dont talk about it because they do not know how to and/or are uncomfortable doing so. If mothers had the jargon, the language, and the tips for talking about hair problems and skin problems and all of the changes that happen to a girls body as she starts to grow up, they might be able to dramatically change the landscape of the relationships they have with their daughters. In Bonding over Beauty, they will find the bonding steps that will make talking about growing into a woman and all that comes with it easier. This is a head to toe book that addresses everything that moms tend to think happens naturally and therefore, doesnt get discussed.

Bonding over Beauty will equip moms with the information they need to be truly caringrather than controllingwith their girls. It will enable moms to educate and empower their daughters to make positive choices. Their daughters will be prepared, confident, and secure as they navigate adolescence. While on the surface this looks like a book about skin deep beauty, it is actually about moms being able to teach their daughters the most important lesson of all: beauty truly comes from within.

Making room to spend quality time with your daughter, even as little as five to ten minutes a day, to share specific tips on the how-tos of growing up in a fun and open-minded way will translate into the self-worth and self-esteem that she will take through life. Mothers can shine the light of love on their daughters and create a rewarding, fulfilling, and truly unique relationship with them. Bonding over Beauty will help moms nurture their daughters into women they will feel proud of and who will be equally proud of them. And thats a win-win for everyone.

Dr. Jane Greer, psychotherapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship; host of the Doctor On Call radio show at Healthylife.net

I would like to thank my daughter, Somer, and my son, Stone, for giving me creative ideas for moms to better bond with their daughters. Without your excitement for the project, I never would have been able to do it. You are the best coauthors I ever could have hoped for. To my husband, Jay, who has given me his unwavering support throughout my endeavor and helped me through each step of the process. Your love has been my strength. I would like to thank my father and brother for being my proofreaders and my biggest cheerleaders. To my mother, for bonding with me over beauty ever since I was a little girl. You instilled self-confidence in me that I carry to this day.