Dr. Cecilia Banga - Blossom and Bloom: Tips for Talking to Your Tween Daughter About Puberty

BLOSSOM AND BLOOM

Copyright 2021 Cecilia W. Banga

All rights reserved.

Published by Publish Your Gift

An imprint of Purposely Created Publishing Group, LLC

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ISBN: 978-1-64484-389-5 (print)

ISBN: 978-1-64484-390-1 (ebook)

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This book is dedicated to:

My Blossoms. My daughters, Julianna and Anthea. My greatest achievements. Soar, my loves!

xoxoxo

My parents, Agana Banga and Emma Marinoni Banga. Forever in my heart. Legends never die.

xoxoxo

We desire to bequeath two things to our children. The first one is roots; the second is wings.

Sudanese proverb

I grew up on a university campus with scholars and literary giants as my neighbors, their books readily available to read. However, I never envisioned a day when I would see my thoughts transformed into words in print. This journey was bolstered by a lot of people to whom I simply must publicly express my gratitude.

To:

My sister Chi: For constantly reminding me of who I am and what I am made of.

My sister Ego: For reminding me to dream big.

My husband Philip, my north star: For giving me room to fly. Look, I did it!!

Dr. Drai: The man with THE formula. The plan works! Thank you.

My Girlgang: Akos, Abby, Ekuwa, Eli, Eleanor, Ewurabena, KiKe, Lariba, Magnita, Mamaa, Sheila, Shirley and Victoria: The best friends, cheerleaders, reality checkers and support team ever!

Tieshena Davis, Pavita Singh, and the amazing team at Publish Your Gift, a Subsidiary of Purposely Created Publishing: especially for your guidance and patience throughout this process. It is greatly appreciated!

Jai Stone, The BrandMother, and her team at BrandCandy: for your visionary branding magic!

Jamie McCartney: For trusting me with your amazing art.

I n April of 2014, my father passed away. It was unexpected for my family however I felt especially blindsided. He was my beacon of stability and calm. This occurred while I was still getting my feet wet (so to speak) in my new career as a fully fledged OBGYN. I was also an ocean away, pregnant in my third trimester with my second childmy first being only two years oldand studying for my oral medical board exam. I was shattered. I insisted on flying to Ghana from Ohio for his funeral. Three days later, one day after I returned from that most painful event, my mother passed away even more unexpectedly and suddenly. My mother was a pillar of resilience and fortitude and a force to be reckoned with! I had been hoping to lean on her following the loss of my dad. I was left completely shattered! When a life changing event occurs, one has only two real options: crumble in defeat or rise above it.

Condolences began to pour in swiftly. Calls and texts came from hundreds of people whose lives had been affected by my amazing and humanitarian-inclined parents. A recurrent cord was struck in these messages: in living their purpose and passions, my mother, a passionate womens health advocate, and my father, a learned and accomplished chartered accountant, had touched many lives by encouraging and celebrating others incessantly. As I listened to stories being recounted, I recognized a common thread. They had shared the same values they had imbued in me over the years with others: hard work, perseverance, self-worth, and the importance of having a purpose and a passion. They also shared their love of life toowe had always celebrated life events with glee! They loved to highlight milestone growth events as worthy of being celebrated. My grief transformed into a sense of purpose. I felt called to repurpose skills they had taught me in life and in death, combine it with my passion, and share it with the world. I chose to rise.

I became an OBGYN due to an overwhelming curiosity that was ignited when I was going through puberty. I was fortunate to have my mother guide me through that most-intriguing journey. My mother was a midwife, nursing professor and president of the Ghana Registered Nurses Association for twelve years. She was a strong womens health advocate who was instrumental in seeing that female circumcision was written into the Constitution in Ghana as being illegal. She was a trailblazer.

My father was in his own right a trailblazer as well. Being the first person from his part of Ghana to become a chartered accountant. He was known for his resolute ethics, ability to interpret practices with a cultural lens and belief in being comfortable with oneself while successfully striving for higher ideals. He was held in very high esteem.

As well-traveled and globally knowledgeable as they were, they felt it of utmost importance to hold on to their traditional values strongly. I did not fully understand this as a child but as I came to have my own daughters, coupled with living in diaspora, the value of having some grounding for my children has become very important to me.

The minute I realized I was pregnant with my first, and subsequently my second daughter, I was determined to immerse them in the values that I believe helped imbue me with my self-confidence. So, armed with the added experience of having guided numerous other young girls and their mothers through this path as a Board Certified OBGYN for the past ten years, I decided to create a resource for mothers and guardians, just like me, for their daughters. Where better to start than with the beginning steps of becoming a woman.

That journey usually begins with puberty. Puberty is the first step in a journey toward a young lady coming into her own. In many cultures, Ghanaian culture being no exception, the transitional journey into womanhood is celebrated with relish. I love this! Cultures all over the world celebrate womanhood with puberty traditional rites. In 1969, Murdock and White published the findings of extensive research they had conducted and reported in their Standard cross cultural sample that puberty rites exist in 56 percent of 182 worldwide traditional societies. They surmised that the general purpose of many rites is to prepare the adolescent for social maturation.

Schlegel and Barry, who also conducted numerous research on the topic point out that, worldwide, puberty rites typically coincide with the first period. Specifically, they noted that 82 percent of rites occurred at genital maturation for females (versus 39 percent for males) and female puberty rites tend to be more biological and physiologic in nature and origin.

The Ga-Dangbe Krobo tribe of Eastern Ghana is world renowned for traditional and prominent puberty rites called Dipo. It is historically very lavish and involves an elaborate series of training that was designed to help ease young women, Blossoms, into womanhood. Generally, the ceremonies would begin in the month of February, and last for one to three years beginning anywhere from age fourteen to twenty-one. In recent times, it is more common for it to start as early as age six and only last three to seven days between March and June. The purpose of the event is to teach young girls skills ranging from personal hygiene to life and vocational skills. Admittedly, a lot of the practices are focused on historically gender-associated roles such as homemaking, pottery, and matweaving. Still a lot of value exists in aspects of the rites. There is meaningful symbolism in the rich events that mark the rites ranging in activities that involve body paint, charms, amulets, and jewelry such as rings, and my favorite, waist beads. Beads are not just beautiful, they serve various purposes and impart messages. Beads signify, beauty, wealth, femininity, purity, fertility, and success and are used to ward off disease and negativity. The beads have fun names too: noli and koli Krobo beads and the Sissala tribe with its singing beads.