The Parents Guide to Puberty
Helping your child to thrive (not just survive) as they grow up
By Cath Hakanson
Published by Sex Ed Rescue
PO Box 7903
Cloisters Square WA 6000
Australia
sexedrescue.com
Copyright 2021 CATH HAKANSON
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or in any means by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior written permission, except without permission from the author.
This material represents the views, opinions and education of its author and has been produced with the intention that it acts purely as general information. It is not intended to be taken or used as a substitute for medical or Cath Hakansonother professional advice. We do not assume any responsibility for any liability, loss, damage or risk that may follow from the use or reliance of this material.
Cover artwork by Claire Cassidy from Studio Flos
Illustrations by Elettra Codignotto
For permission contact:
cath@sexedrescue.com
ISBN-13: 978-0-6487162-5-9
eISBN-13 978-0-6487162-6-6
INTRODUCTION
Youre already an expert on puberty because youve been through it yourself.
M aybe youve noticed that your child is moodier lately or starting to grow hair in new places. Maybe they arent showing any signs themself, but youve noticed changes in their friends.
Whichever it is, deep down, you realize that its time to have the talk that you probably never had, or had too late, when you were growing up. Its time to prepare your child for whats to come.
If youre like most parents, including me, preparing your child for puberty probably isnt something youve ever thought about before. And now you realize how unprepared you are to talk about it. Well, you can relax for a moment, because this book will prepare you for what lies ahead. It will tell you everything you need to know before you talk to your child about the changes that will take place in them. This book covers important things such as what puberty is all about, why it happens, when and how you should start talking, and what you should talk about.
For more than 25 years, Ive been helping people get more comfortable with sex. Ive answered their questions, listened to their fears, empowered them with the right information, and pointed them in the right direction. After hearing thousands of parents ask me the same questions about puberty over and over again, Ive worked out what they want.
Parents want to know how to have honest conversations that will guide their child through puberty and strengthen their relationship without them feeling embarrassed, awkward or nervous.
But they dont know how to start.
This book will help you get started with talking. It will help you to:
Understand what puberty means for your child so you are fully prepared to answer their questions.
Realize the importance of discussing puberty before it starts so your child isnt surprised, confused or frightened.
Know the evolving changes that happen during puberty, and when they are likely to happen, so you can confidently identify them and prepare your child for what comes next.
Create crucial talking points you can use with your child before they get misinformation from somewhere else, so you know the right information to share at the right time.
Develop basic tools to help you easily talk to your child, even if they are reluctant to talk about puberty.
Provide you with age-appropriate answers to your childs questions, so that you are never at a loss for words.
Throughout this book, you will notice that I use slightly different language when talking about boys and girls. Instead of saying boys, I will say male, someone with a male body or someone with a penis. Instead of saying girls, I will say female, someone with a female body or someone with a vagina. This is because not everyone identifies with the gender they were raised as.
This book wont just show you how to talk to your child about puberty. It will show you how to have the type of relationship where they can talk to you about anything, no matter what. But you need to start talking sooner rather than later, because puberty is on its way, whether you like it or not!
As much as we would all like to leave it for someone else to address (me included), you love your child and know they deserve to hear about the changes that are going to happen to them from you, so that they can turn to you for support, guidance and information.
Empower your child with the right information so that when the time comes, they dont make the wrong decisions around love, sex and relationships.
All the best!
Cath
You can access my FREE sex education course for parents at https://sexedrescue.com/back-to-basics/
WHAT IS PUBERTY?
Puberty is going to happen whether you want it to or not, but at least it happens gradually.
P uberty can mean many different things, but basically, it is when your childs body changes from being a child to an adult. It is the last time that their body will grow. Puberty isnt the last time that their body will change, though, because, as we know, our bodies will keep on changing for our whole lives. Luckily, puberty doesnt happen overnight. It can take from two-to-five and up to 10 years for your childs body to change. This is a good thing, as it gives them time to get used to the changes that will slowly be happening to them. Puberty is about more than just their body changing. Their relationships with their family, friends and peers will change. Their feelings and even their personality will change, too.
What does this all mean?
Puberty means your child will soon be fertile, that they can make a baby. And that you could become a grandparent! But does this mean that they are ready to become a parent? Most likely not. Just because their body is capable of reproducing doesnt mean theyre necessarily ready to become a parent, but they do need to know that this could happen.
When will puberty happen?
The time puberty starts is different for everyone. It can be earlier for some kids and later for others. Everyone is different.
For children with a vagina, puberty will start any time between the ages of eight and 15. And for children with a penis, puberty will usually start a year later, between the ages of nine and 15.
When your childs body is the right size and shape for them, the hormones that start the changes will be triggered and their body will begin to change. It is important to remember that you cant rush or delay puberty. This can be hard for some kids, especially if theyre the first or the last to show changes. They will see themselves as being different from their friends and will wonder if they are normal.
If theyre an early bloomer, your child will probably attract unwanted attention from their peers and be teased about having breasts, being smelly or gaining weight. They will most likely be wondering whats wrong with them, as they are the only one whose body is changing. If theyre a late bloomer, they may be worried that they havent yet started to change, and they will wonder what is wrong with them. It is important that your child understands that puberty will happen when their body is ready for it, and that everybody is different.
If you started puberty early (or late), then theres a good chance that your child will start puberty sooner (or later) too.
When to worry
