Linda Sonna - The Everything Tween Book: A Parents Guide to Surviving the Turbulent Pre-Teen Years

THE
EVERYTHING
TWEEN
BOOK

A parents guide to surviving
the turbulent preteen years

Linda Sonna, Ph.D.

Copyright 2003, F+W Media, Inc.
All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced
in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions
are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

An Everything Series Book.
Everything and everything.com are registered trademarks of F+W Media, Inc.

Published by Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322 U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com
ISBN 10: 1-58062-870-2
ISBN 13: 978-1-58062-870-9
eISBN 13: 978-1-44052-253-6
Printed in the United States of America.

J I H G F

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Sonna, Linda.
The everything tween book / Linda Sonna.
p. cm. (An everything series book)
ISBN 1-58062-870-2
1. Preteens. 2. Child rearing. 3. Parenting. 4. Parent and child.
I. Title. II. Series: Everything series.
HQ777.15 .S66 2003
649'.124--dc21 2002015050

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

The information contained in this book is designed for educational purposes only and is not intended to provide medical advice or other professional services. The information should not be used for diagnosis, treatment, or as a substitute for professional care. If your child has a medical or behavioral problem or you suspect such a possibility, consult your health care provider. All case studies are composites designed to reflect common behaviors and situations. Information has been changed to protect parents and childrens identities.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, call 1-800-289-0963.

The
EVERYTHING
Tween Book

Dear Reader:

Ever y stage of childhood is special in its own way, but tweens are my hands-down favorite. While working with youngsters in my psychology practice, teaching in the United States and abroad, and foster-mothering, tweens shared their personal joys, secret sorrows, and favorite knock-knock jokes. I learned about their fears of the dark and family breakups, their victories over spelling tests and bullies, and their delight over Valentines, video games, and summer vacations. Mostly, they taught me that while it is often fun being a tween, it is not always easy.

Its not always easy parenting a tween, either. It can be hard to remember that beneath the know-it-all attitude, despite the grown-up clothes, and under the pink-and-blue hair your child simply wishes to be successful in school, liked on the playground, and affirmed by you.

Although it is very hard to limit your childs exposure to the images and ideas streaming into your living room from the larger society, it is important to contain destructive electronic influences with the same zeal that you approach destructive human ones. Given the stress and pressure of modern life, it can be especially hard to refrain from nagging and criticizing to keep your tween on track, but it is imperative to avoid negative methods of disciplining. The memories your child gleans from these special years will last a lifetime. Do what you can to make them good ones!

The EVERYTHING Series

Editorial

Production

Visit the entire Everything Series at everything.com

Contents

Inside the Mind of a Tween
The Silent Years
Interacting with Tweens
Looking for Authority
The Emotional Years

Growing Up and Falling Apart
From Girls to Women
Forming Friendships
Understanding Peer Pressure
Tweens and Their Mothers
Her Fathers Daughter

An Excess of Energy
Common Myths and Misconceptions
Tween Boys Development
Improving Parent-Boy Relationships
Male Mentors
Boy-Friendly Environments

Parent-Tween Relationships
Parents as Fallen Heroes
Friends versus Family
Maintaining Mutual Respect
What Tweens Need Most
Your New Parenting Role

Teaching Self-Control
The Tween Challenge
Your Parenting Style
Solving Communication Problems
Tackling Behavior Problems
Improving Compliance
Teaching Money Management

The Silent Age
Conversing with Tweens
Getting Tweens to Open Up
Positive Communication
Taboo Tween Topics
Holding Dinnertime Conversations

Limiting Peer Contact
The Family That Plays Together
Doing Chores Together
Running Errands Together
Family Meetings
Latchkey Kids
Balancing Friends and Family

Siblings at Odds
Sibling Bonds
The Roots of Sibling Conflict
Parents as Mediators
Ending Squabbles
Teaching Family Values

Teacher Troubles
Handling School Conferences
Mediating Student-Teacher Conflicts
Teaching Respect
Improving Academic Standards
Assessing Achievement
Improving Motivation

Uninspired Students
The Problems with Traditional Education
Providing Enrichment Activities
Peer Tutoring Benefits
Repeating a School Year
A Summertime Boost
Homeschooling Your Tween

Leisure Activities
Tween Burnout
Team Sports
Teaching Good Sportsmanship
Tweens on Wheels
Winter Activities

Artful Dodgers
Why Tweens Dont Do Their Chores
An Important Part of Growing Up
Teaching Organizational Skills
Supervising Chores
Flexibility and Structure

High-Tech Highs
Learning to Live Without TV
Imagination Boosters
Backyard Fun
Rainy Day Fun
Tween Hobbies
Arts and Crafts

The Breakfast Benefit
Tween Nutritional Requirements
The Battle of the Sweet Tooth
Teaching about Nutrition
Helping with Appetite Control
Tween Diets
Healthy Choices

Sleep Deprivation