StutterTalk Publications - Stuttering: Inspiring Stories and Professional Wisdom

Edited by Peter Reitzes and David Reitzes

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012 StutterTalk, Inc

License Notes: This ebook is licensed for yourpersonal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or givenaway to other people. If you would like to share this ebook withanother person, please purchase an additional copy for each personyou share it with. If youre reading this book and did not purchaseit, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you shouldreturn to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you forrespecting the hard work of this author.

Edited by Peter Reitzes and David Reitzes

StutterTalk Publication No. 1

2012

Published by

StutterTalk, INC.

StutterTalk.com

stuttertalk@stuttertalk.com

Chapel Hill, NC

Copyright 2012 StutterTalk, Inc. "Lost forWords" by David Mitchell, is copyrighted by the Prospect Magazineand used by kind permission. Each other chapter herein iscopyrighted by its author and used by kind permission.

Cover art designed by Jordon Smith and AprilSadowski.

StutterTalk would like to thank David Reitzesfor his huge commitment to this project, editing skills, andinsights. We could not have done it without Daves determinedefforts. StutterTalk thanks to the following people for editing oneor more chapters: Nan Bernstein Ratner, John Coakley, Walter H.Manning, Charlie Osborne, Bob Quesal, J. Scott Yaruss and BarryYeoman. Thanks to Jordon Smith and April Sadowski for designing thecover art. StutterTalk thanks each and every author for donating achapter to this book and for supporting StutterTalk. Thanks theDigital Media Law Project at Harvard's Berkman Center for Internet& Society, for connecting us with pro bono legal counselthrough the Online Media Legal Network.

In 2007, StutterTalk began publishing free,weekly podcasts. Since then we have published more than 350episodes featuring people who stutter, researchers, speech-languagepathologists, family members, famous people who stutter, andothers. We feature interviews with courageous and inspiring peoplewho stutter and professionals who are at the forefront of theirfields. StutterTalk regularly reports from local and nationalstuttering events. Most importantly, StutterTalk provides a safeplace where people stutter openly and talk openly aboutstuttering.

Many people who stutter, including myself, grewup feeling alone and isolated because of our stuttering. I was 23years old before I was ever told its okay to stutter andstuttering is allowed. Hearing these messages changed mylife. At StutterTalk, we embrace and broadcast these positivemessages.

StutterTalk sought to address the loneliness andisolation of stuttering by bringing self-help to the digital ageand by stuttering openly on air. We not only talk about stuttering,but people hear us stutter. Now, five years afterStutterTalks inception, we are proud to report that others havefollowed our lead by offering online support that features peoplestuttering openly.

This book reflects the wide variety ofexperiences, insights, wisdom and knowledge found in the stutteringcommunity. The chapters are arranged in two sections. The first 16chapters are under the heading, Inspiring Stories. Thesechapters capture the rich and courageous experiences of people whostutter (and, in one case, the spouse of a person who stutters).The final nine chapters are written under the heading,Professional Wisdom. These chapters delve into some currentand exciting issues in stuttering and treatment and reflect thedeep knowledge and experiences of these respectedprofessionals.

Peter Reitzes, MA CCC-SLP

StutterTalk President and Host

StutterTalk, INC is a 501(c)(3) nonprofitorganization dedicated to supporting people who stutter, theirfamilies, professionals, students, and the general public bytalking openly about stuttering and by providing information aboutstuttering.

StutterTalk is listener and reader supported. Ifyou like what you read in this book and hear on our podcasts,please consider a donation. Go to StutterTalk.com to donate or sendan email to stuttertalk@stuttertalk.com for information.

Reuben Schuff

Dear Fluency,

Weve been in this relationship with each otherfor a while now, a long while actuallyas long as I can remembertrying to talk, in fact. Thats probably about 28 years. Andoverall its been a pretty unhealthy, codependent affair. So to behonest, I think its time we broke off this whole thing. We couldtry to be friends, but I dont really know how well that wouldwork.

I used to look up to you and respect you. Ithought you had all the answers and would solve all my problems.Weve been through different phases over the years. I grew into aprofoundly severe stutterer. I stuttered frequently and hard. As Igraduated into adulthood, it was all too painfully obvious that mycommunication was an unmitigated disaster. In those days I thoughtthat being fluent was the key to communicating and enjoying life.But that key had eluded me for 18 years as I struggledrelentlessly, unguided.

In those years I never really thought that muchabout what you really were. I stuttered, and I didnt like it. Iwanted to change it; that meant finding a way to make you myfriend. To stutter was to not be fluent. Logically then, fluency isthe opposite of stuttering. It would make sense that I saw you asthe ultimate solution to my enduring problem. I was resolved to goto any length to find you; I just had no clue how. And such was thefirst 20 years of our twisted love affair.

To my great fortune and blessing, I would meet askilled guide at this point in our journey, which meant that Icould begin to understand you in a deeper, more methodical way. Westarted to unwrap the onion and get to know the elephant that Idragged around with me, always present but never able to address.We began to change stuttering from a dark cloud that I couldntunderstand into discrete pieces, behaviors, ideas and feelings thatI could cope with in digestible parts.

Human beings are unique among all creatures inthe world in our ability to communicate with one another in such asophisticated manner. It is this ability that guides our lives andallows us to grow and develop. I think the reason that the disorderof stuttering is so poorly understood, even by those of us who areintimately familiar with it, is because it strikes at the core ofour humanity. We are inherently, intensely social creatures.Stuttering disturbs this nature, and thus to understand it, we mustlook beyond the sounds and syllables of the speech-motorsystem.

I remember where our abusive relationship tookits first significant turn towards change. It was January, 2002 andI was starting my second semester of sophomore year of college. Iwas returning to chilly Indiana after spending my winter break inSan Francisco, backpacking in the city. I remember getting to myhostel on the edge of Chinatown late at night and struggling somuch to speak over the intercom on the door with the night guardthat I thought I wasnt going to get in. I thought I might have tostake out a stoop in the alley because I could not speak. It wasone of those hopefully few times in life where the pain and tormentof the current situation was so great that the need for change wasundeniable, and worth any risk.

A year and a half after high school I finallyfollowed up on the advice of my public school speech languagepathologist (SLP) who told me that Purdue University had a prettygood SLP department and I might want to check it out when I startedmy studies there. I hadnt been too excited to pursue this at firstbecause my experiences thus far with SLPs werent very useful, butnow I didnt know what else to do. I remember my first day in thebasement of the Speech Science Department in West Lafayette,Indiana. I was struggling and fighting with every secondarybehavior and avoidance technique imaginable just trying to get myname out. My whole body was involved in my disorder by thispointnot just the awkward facial contortions that are at leastphysically close to the speech systembut my head, my arms and evenlegs were participating in my disorder. From inside it felt like atrain wreck of hazardous material, during an earthquake, buried bya volcano. I can only wonder if others saw my condition and wantedto hide from the unworldly sight, as I did. I was very muchcommitted to rebuilding our relationship then and saw you as thesalvation to my struggle and torment.