A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book, and for that matter, my career (and life) would not have been possible without the love, help, and advice of some truly incredible people I met along the way. To all of you, I say: thank you for taking a chance on me by including me on your team, in your lives, and in some cases, into your families.
All men might be created equal, but all agents are not. My agent, Jamie Brenner, is not just a kick-ass agent who believed in me from day one, she is also a great friend, a kindred spirit, and a woman who truly espouses the essence of this book: self-reliance. To the handsome and talented Adam Chromy: thank you for seconding my motion not to name this book Teabagger. Thank you to Julie Doughty and Caroline Ryder for your talents and discipline. Thank you to the entire Kensington team for believing in me, with special accolades and love to Michaela Hamilton and Amy Pyle for never, ever giving up on this first-time writer.
To my first boss, Governor Fife Symingtons Press Secretary Doug Cole: Doug, had it not been for you, my political career wouldve ended before it even got started, as was suggested by the memo written to you by my then immediate supervisor who asked you to fire me. Doug, you showed me the ropes, and through watching you, I learned the craft of being a political communications professional. I love you, Doug, and Im sorry for always barging into your office when you were on the phone with the press.
Bettina Celaya Nava, Kim Grace Sabo and Trisha Reynolds: I can do nothing but smile and laugh (and laugh, and laugh) when I think about you three girls. I love you more than I can ever express. And Bettina, if you wouldve had me, I wouldve turned for you. Love, Alanis.
Steve Kupka, I will never forget the day when you and I sat down in the candidates apartment and I looked at you and said, You realize that you and I are responsible for creating public policy for the state of Iowa. In hindsight, its probably a good thing we lost. But I walked away from that campaign a winner, because I found in you and your beautiful wife, Susie, lifelong friends. Your children are beautiful, and I love being in the company of the Kupkas.
David Israelite, without you, there would really be no book, because there wouldve been no job with Ralph Reed. David, when you called me to tell me about the communications directors job available in Ralphs Atlanta office, you threw me a life raft. In Atlanta, I found myself, my voice, gave birth to my son, and met the man of my dreams. I repaid you a few years back, when I introduced you to one of my hottest girlfriends. I considered that my way of saying thank you. But I hope this works, too.
Amanda, Emily, and my beloved Big Les: It was, I believe, nothing short of divine providence that put us all on the ninth floor of a half-occupied office building in a then-underdeveloped suburb in Georgia working for Ralph Reed. (I can hear Freakazoid screeching his first and last name right now!) It was the perfect configuration and it remains one of the best times of my life, and you women are among the loves of my life. Big Les, you are one of the most incredible women and mothers I have known. You are loyal, honest, loving, and tolerant. You deserve only the best, and I consider it my personal quest to shine a light on a woman who has spent much of her life in the background. I love you.
Jared and his beautiful wife, Jenn, the real Mary Frances (you know who you are), and Josh: Come on, that was fun! I love all of you very much, and I treasure the continued happy hours and times we spend together. I look forward to continuing down our path of a lifetime of friendship.
Ralph, you are perhaps the one I should thank the most. Because of you, I found my voice. When people ask me if you will be mad about the book, I smile and say, I assure you, Ralph Reed has faced greater battles and more unusual obstacles than his previous aide writing a book about throwing up on Wayne Newton and writing a column about her vagina.
To my beautiful and elegant grandmother, Sylvia Gimbel, you are a role model and one of the most important women in my life. I love you so much.
To Ellen Woodard, Juli Silver, Jessica Dauler, Tara Friedman (and Demi), Mary Simon, Rev Jain, Stephanie Toettcher, Rebecca Miller, Lara Evans, Jason Miller, Stephanie Gimbel, Jenny Rider, Alan Judd (one of the good ones), Amy Argetsinger, Patrick Best, Conal Byrne, Jack and Frances Shore, Ginger Emas, Jonathan and Michelle Lerner, and the exquisite Sally Koslow: Your collective love, support, and humor have been and remain immeasurable.
Chris Bird, thank you for telling me I am vivacious as opposed to loud, and to my dear Dana Sandweiss Friedman for everything. To Corey Waller for always believing in me and helping me to believe that I could live the life I imagined.
Daniella, where to begin? You are my confidante, my conscience, my editor, my therapist, my stylist, my photographer, my voice of reason, and my precious sons godmother. You bring me to my knees with laughter, to tears with gratitude, and there were some days, when life got too heavy, that you were my oxygen. Everyone deserves to have a friend like you.
Serge, you are my cheerleader, my pal, and one of the best people I know. Now, get that tux all shined upweve got some parties to go to.
To my parentsthis book is for you because you have been there for me, always. I am who I am today because you taught me to be strong, fearless, and self-assured. I can only hope that I am half the parent to my kids as you have been to me. Ive hit a couple of bumps along the road of life. When this happened, family and friends frequently remarked how impressed and proud of me they were for being so strong. The reason I could be so strong is because I have you. You always, always, had my back, and I love you.
To my brother Scott: Thank you for opening the Johnny Law Wellness Center and maintaining it even during the off-season. You are an incredible person and brother, and your unconditional love, complete acceptance, and unique understanding of who I am means more to me than you will ever know. But hopefully now you know, because I just wrote it in my book. To Robyn, who can, if you wanted, exact revenge on me for the rest of your life, you are an incredible support system and champion. Your unwavering loyalty and interest in my life (including forwarding my writing around to everyone) makes me feel very happy. I will try to be a phone person. To the fabulous Sari and Mark, I love you very much and consider coming from a family of five something to brag about. To Candice and Ian, I love you. Ian, your enthusiasm for me and my work (from the get-go!) is something I truly treasure, and Candice, thank you for your everlasting friendship and support.
Sheldon, if I had to create the perfect man to write into the story of my life, he would be you. You are a kind, generous, and wonderful man who shows me love, acceptance, compassion, and partnership every day. You take my breath away. Every day I fall more and more in love with you.
Micah, my beautiful son, my love for you knows no bounds. You are the apple of my eye, the sunshine of my life, and the best thing that has ever happened to me. When you grow up (like, really up, maybe in your twenties?), I want you to read this book between the lines. And when you do, please follow its heart. My sweet child, I pray you, too, follow your dreams, pursue your passions, listen to your heart in consultation with your head, and never be afraid to fail. And on those occasions when you do find yourself afraid, intimidated, or unsure, Ive got your back. Always.