Jean Stoffer - Establishing Home: Creating Space for a Beautiful Life with Family, Faith, and Friends

Great design goes beyond just a pretty space and invites us into something bigger. What I love about Establishing Home is Jeans ability to create spaces that are equal parts function, beauty, and intuition. Shell inspire you in ways that help you design a home you love, with an approach that leaves room for the unexpected too. Home is so much more than the sum of its parts, and this beautiful book will encourage you to keep pursuing that which fills the gaps.

JOANNA GAINES

Cofounder of Magnolia

In Establishing Home, Jean Stoffer blesses us with her vast wisdom on everything from growing a business to raising a family to nurturing good design. With a career that has seen incredible longevity, Jean goes from mentor to mom and back in this book, generously bestowing us with advice on both life and design. You get the feeling, reading this book, that she believes in you and that the sense of home she so effortlessly creates is possible for all of us. She empowers us to choose fine things for our homes, and Jean is the finest of them all.

JULIA MARCUM

Chris Loves Julia

Bringing attention not only to her design aesthetic but also to her family dynamic and business acumen, Jean Stoffer shows us how to live and be beautiful. And I am here for it!

JACKIE HILL PERRY

Writer, speaker, and author of Holier Than Thou

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Visit the author online at jeanstofferdesign.com.

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Establishing Home: Creating Space for a Beautiful Life with Family, Faith, and Friends

Copyright 2022 by Jean Stoffer. All rights reserved.

Cover and interior photographs of author and family copyright John Stoffer. All rights reserved.

Interior photographs of larkspur, marigold, and oak leaves patterns by William Morris are public domain from Rawpixel.com. Interior golden flower pattern photograph created by Rawpixel.com/www.freepik.com.

Designed by Libby Dykstra

Edited by Stephanie Rische

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress.

ISBN 978-1-4964-6041-7

Build: 2022-10-13 10:59:19 EPUB 3.0

I dedicate this book to my dad, Donald Tittle (19322022), who was the closest representation of the Fathers love I could imagine. His joy, optimism, and love for people inspired and blessed me. His love for God was real and felt by me and many others. He would have loved reading this story, as he influenced much of it.

Every home and every life can become even more beautiful.

Fifteen minutes into our morning walk on the last day of our Sanibel Island vacation, Dale turned to me. Im D-U-N done, he said.

I looked at him, curious. Is there something in particular you are referring to? I asked.

Im done with my job. Im not going back to the markets, he said. Its time to leave that life behind. When we get home, Im selling my seat on the exchange. Its too fast paced, too all-or-nothing. Its a young mans game, and Im done.

I stopped in my tracks. What? Butbut you are a young man. Youre only twenty-seven! I countered. Youre so good at trading, and its good money.

Dale was a commodities broker and trader at the Chicago Mercantile Exchangeand he was successful. His income provided significant financial stability for us as a newly married couple.

I know, Jean. But every morning when I step out onto the trading floor, I feel like I might lose everything, he said. Thats not a good state of mind for this business. I might as well get out now before something bad happens. Then I can figure out what to do next.

I was stunned. Youre serious?

Im serious. Im done.

And how long has this thought been in your head? I asked. I cant believe theres no discussion here. I know commodities has never been your long-term plan, but cant we talk this over?

Well, were talking it over now.

After youve already decided?

Yes. After Ive already decided.

The thing about Dale is this: he is patient and easygoing, but when he decides on something, thats it. Its D-U-N. Done.

I wish I could say I tried to understand this decision from his point of view, but all I could think about was how it would affect my tidy life. We were financially dependent on Dales earnings, and this announcement certainly wasnt what I was expecting on the last day of our vacation.

I have decent money in my trading account, and I dont want to lose it, he said.

Not a ton of money, I said. We spent a good chunk of it on the apartment building. In the two years since getting married, wed spent only a fraction of what hed earned, but wed spent some of our savings on an investment property.

Yes, but its enough to see us through until I figure out whats next. And we have your job...

My minimum-wage job, I retorted.

Looking back, I should have seen this coming. Deep down, both of us had always known Dales commodities gig wouldnt last forever. He had watched too many colleagues blow out on the trading floor, losing everything and then some in a single day. He often talked about what the trading lifestyle did to some people who coped with the stress through alcohol, drugs, or lavish spending. He wanted nothing to do with that world, but it surrounded him day after day on the floor.

All these were signs I could have investigatedshould have investigatedbut didnt. Id been busy enjoying our comfortable income and my part-time work. Dales job had made a lot of things possible for us. Wed bought a town house and were remodeling it. Wed copurchased the apartment building and were remodeling it, too. Except for our first few months of marriage, we had never really struggled to make ends meet. I now realized those days were probably over.

As we resumed our walk along that Florida beach, I glanced over at Dale. He looked at peace, settled. Hes such a good man, I thought. True, I wish he had included me in this process so I could be fully on board by the time the decision was made, but I probably could have been more perceptive about how hard this has been on him.

Our marriage was less than two years old, but it was solid. Dale was the kind of man who would never ask me to stay in a job I hated, nor could I bring myself to ask him to stay in a career he desperately wanted to leave.

I reached for his hand. Im mad at you, but well figure this out, I said. Were in this together.

He squeezed my hand and exhaled.

Our flight home that afternoon was quiet, but my mind raced. Here was my new reality: I would be the sole breadwinner while Dale figured out what was next. I no longer had the luxury of working as an office manager in an interior-design firma field that fascinated me, even if the pay wasnt great. I needed to either find a job that paid more money or add a second job.