Michael Biarnes - Redefining Success: Stories, Science, and Strategies to Prioritize Happiness and Overcome Lifes Oh Sh!t Moments

Up until I was about ten years old, I dreamt about becoming a veterinarian. I wanted to help every kind of animal in the world. At that time, I even thought Id be open to helping cats, and I am deathly allergic to cats! I could recite the most arbitrary facts about the most obscure animals on the planetmany thanks to Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter.

I had weekly magazines sent to my house, would watch every show possible, and would even look up animals in the encyclopedia. Yes, Im aware that I just dated myself a bit with that exampleBut I vividly remember looking up the marmoset, an eight-inch-tall, adorable little monkey, in the good old encyclopedia to learn more about the fascinating miniature creature. At that stage in my life, being successful meant I would one day be helping animals. Period.

If only life could remain so simple, right?

Lets fast forward to my teenage years. At this stage of life, my definition for success changed drasticallypresumably because I became more aware of pop culture, began idolizing athletes, and was exposed to new kinds of shows like MTV Cribs.

If you asked me as a teenager, being successful meant you had some combination of power, fortune, and famepreferably all three. Success came with a mansion, multiple sports cars, season tickets to your favorite sports teams (maybe even partial ownership), and the ability to travel the world. I envisioned having my own personal limo take me to my private jet which would, of course, fly me to my private island. Seems very privateperhaps too private?

Most of us wander through life striving to be successful. But have you ever stopped to think about what that really means? Chances are if you look back, success meant something wildly different depending on what stage of life you were in.

Lets return to our first case studyme, your MC, whose research throughout this book literally rips my teenage definition to shreds!

While Id like to think my definition for success matured as I grew older, I cant say that was the case until recently. After studying biology in undergrad, I spent my twenties cultivating my love of science to earn my masters in biotechnology and work my way up the ranks of the biopharma industry. I went from dreaming about helping animals to working in the field that performs animal testingnot exactly aligned with my ten-year-old version of success. But at least I was leveraging my love of science to try and improve patient outcomes, so Ill take it.

I was very focused on my salary and title at that stage in my life. There was a span in which I got four promotions in three years and it still wasnt enough for me to be happy. If you asked me, I could not get to the C-suite fast enough. Success was still very much tied to power, fortune, and fame.

If Im being completely honest, I probably would still be pursuing that lifestyle and would not have Redefined Success for myself without the help of what I like to affectionately call an Oh Shit Moment.

In case youre wondering, an Oh Shit Moment is an event that absolutely rocks your life and makes you question what the heck youre doing.

My Oh Shit Moment came in the form of my fathers passing in 2018 after a two-year battle with cancer. That time in my late twenties absolutely crushed me! And while I dont wish for anyone to go through that kind of event, I will say my fathers passing led to me undergoing a metamorphosis (animal referencemy love for animals lives on after all).

While I would love to say that my Oh Shit Moment is unique and you will be spared from such events, in performing all of my research and interviews for this book, its clear that these events, unfortunately, will touch everyone, even you, at various times in life.

So, after my father passed, I found myself asking:

Is this really what I want for my life?

How do I balance all of the things that matter to me?

Despite having what society deems to be success, why do I still feel unhappy and unfulfilled?

And it was with these thoughts that the seeds for this book were planted. It took a lot of soul-searching, deep reflection, researching, and honest conversations to recalibrate what mattered in life to me: to RedefineSuccess.

As I met people along this journey, I found one universal commonality among those people who I most looked up to; they, too, at some point in their lives, made a concerted effort to reflect and reprioritize the things that mattered most to them. Oftentimes these individuals would exchange what others perceived to be success for something more importanttheir own personal definition of success.

But before we dive into their stories, we should establish some sort of baseline for what success actually means.

While 2020 brought about a lot of pain, sorrow, and grief due to the COVID-19 pandemic, it also forced many of us to look in the mirror and truly reflect on what matters most, something I feel is crucial in order to be truly successful. And while there is no wrong answer to the question what matters most to you? without taking a holistic view of your life and defining those truly important aspects for yourself, it is nearly impossible to feel fulfilled, happy, and satisfied, no matter how much perceived success you may attain.

All too often, we get caught up in our own lives, convincing ourselves we need that pay raise, new title, or promotion to be perceived as successful. We put on blinders and work our tails off to meet others expectations and achieve specific goals. Meanwhile, life around us continues, and by the time we take a moment to pause and reflect, we realize the path weve been on all this time, may not have been the right path after all.

So, lets take a minute and try to define this ever-elusive concept of success. I would imagine most people lean toward Merriam-Websters definition. After all, what better source for a definition than a dictionary? According to Merriam-Webster, success is:

a degree or measure of succeeding (Not very helpful.)

a favorable or desired outcome (A bit better?)

the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence (At least this gives some clarity!)

Admittedly, the first two leave a bit to be desired, but the third definition really tries to provide a definitive answer. Its scary how much this aligns with my teenage definition of success! The only problem is the definition is wrong.

If that third definition of success were true, lottery winners, social media influencers, and celebrities would all consider themselves to be successful, as they all achieved wealth, favor, or eminence, respectively. Yet, there are countless stories of lottery winners going bankrupt as they burn through cash in the pursuit of happiness. Despite this instant access to cash, lottery winners have a higher likelihood of declaring bankruptcy within three to five years than the average American (Hankins, 2011). Additionally, you can find endless examples of social media influencers and celebrities struggling with depression and searching for fulfillment. Unfortunately, these stories are in the media all too often.