Raj Raghunathan - If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?

W hat does it take to lead a happy and fulfilling life?

Over the past four decades I have had the privilege of working with over 150 major CEOs, including Alan Mulally (CEO of the Year when he was at Ford), Dr. Jim Kim (president of the World Bank), and Ian Read (CEO of Pfizer). At Johnson & Johnson I did a huge leadership development project involving Ralph Larsen (then CEO) and their top 2,000 leaders. Every single one of the leaders whom I have taught or coached has pondered this question. And since you are reading this book, Ill assume that you, too, have spent considerable time on it.

The answer to the question, it turns out, is both a little simpler and a little more complicated than you might think. Its simpler because, ultimately, it doesnt take that much more than what you already have to be happy. As youll learn toward the end of this book, beyond basic necessities and adequate health, it takes just three things to be happy: (1) great social relationships, (2) a sense of purpose (doing something meaningful), and (3) a positive attitude toward lifean attitude that lets you feel a sense of being in control even in challenging times. Thats all it takes to be happy.

The answer to what it takes to be happy is a little more complicated than that for three reasons. First, being the smart and successful person that you are, you arent going to be satisfied with knowing just what it takes to be happy; you will also want to know why it takes these things to be happy. That makes the answer more complicated because figuring out the answer to the why question means delving deep into happiness research, which takes work. Second, as I know from personal experience and as I have discussed in my book, Triggers, simply knowing what it takes to be happy, and why, isnt enough. Its also important to know how you are going to achieve those things that you need to be happy. You need to have a plan that will work, and then you need to execute this plan well. Figuring out a plan thats both compelling in theory and feasible in practice complicates the answer to the question.

The final, and I think most important, reason that the answer is complicated has to do with self-awarenessor lack of it. If you are like most smart-and-successful people I know, you have a dream. The dream goes something like this:

Im incredibly busy right now. Given pressures of work and home, and new technology that follows me everywhere and e-mails and voice mails and global competition, I feel about as busy as I ever have. Sometimes I feel overcommitted. I dont tell others this, but every now and again my life feels just a little bit out of control. But Im working on some very unique and special challenges right now. And I think the worst of this is going to be over in two or three months. And after that Im going take two or three weeks to get organized and spend time with the family. And Im going to begin my new healthy and happy life program. And everything is going to be different. And it wont be crazy anymore.

How many years have you had this dream? And for how long are you going to continue to have it? If you arent careful, you could have this dream forever!

What does it take to lead a happy and fulfilling life? It takes self-awareness to realize that leading a happy and fulfilling life is more important than anything else that you have done or will do. Self-awareness is crucial because from it comes the all-important decision to not postpone the decision to lead a happy and fulfilling life. Developing such self-awareness can be difficult, particularly if you are overcommitted, tired, and depleted. This is the third reason that makes the answer to the question complicated.

But you are in luck. If theres one guy who can uncomplicate things for you, its Raj. Raj makes being happy simple in three ways. First, he makes it easy to understand and assimilate the scientific findings on happiness. How? By using a structure7 sins, 7 habits, and 7 exercisesthats simple to comprehend, and infusing it with just the right mix of interesting anecdotes and relevant research. Second, he has done the hard work of identifying the most powerful happiness-enhancing exercises, so you dont have to. All you need to do is understand why the exercises work, and execute them to the best of your ability.

Finally, this book offers the most compelling set of arguments for why you need to give the goal of leading a happier and more fulfilling lifea goal that, I might add, almost every spiritual leader and philosopher, from Aristotle and Buddha to Maya Angelou and Zorba the Greek, has soughtyour highest priority. The desire for happiness may appear to be self-centered, but follow Raj and dig a little deeper. Youll find that theres perhaps no goal thats more noble. The determinants of happiness are also those of developing into a nicerkinder and more compassionatehuman being. If that werent enough, the things that lead to happiness also lead to success.

How important do I think it is for you to read this book? Let me just say that if you are smart and successful and yet feel that you arent as happy as you couldor want tobe, I wouldnt just recommend that you read this book. I would say that you