Greg Bourke - Gay, Catholic, and American: My Legal Battle for Marriage Equality and Inclusion

ADVANCE PRAISE

for

Gay, Catholic, and American

My Legal Battle for Marriage Equality and Inclusion

Recounting confrontations with the Catholic Church to the Boy Scouts and then fighting the state of Kentucky all the way to the Supreme Court of the United States, Gay, Catholic, and American is the powerful story of a man and his family fighting tirelessly for positive change rooted in their belief in the fullness of charity.

Jim Obergefell, co-author of Love Wins

Greg Bourkes story is one of perseverance and tenacity, of refusing to settle for less and daring to dream big. LGBTQ Catholics and those who desire more welcoming institutions will be encouraged and inspired by reading this book.

Michael J. OLoughlin, national correspondent for America: The Jesuit Review

The events described in this book could be seen as ordinary and unremarkable: a man finds a partner, forms a family, gets married, forges a career, and becomes a leader in his community, all while devotedly practicing his religious faith. But it becomes an extraordinary and exceptional story when you read what it took to pursue happiness, acceptance, and equality in all those arenas of his life while still remaining steadfast in that faith. In this way, Greg Bourkes Gay, Catholic, and American is also both universal and personal, providing a compelling read for any audience.

Christine Becker, author of Its the Pictures That Got Small

Gay, Catholic, and American reads as a modern passion storyit is a familial and compelling story of two faith-filled men and their two children who tasted lifes bittersweet moments in their unrelenting pursuit of justice, trusting in the power of faith to guide their journey and seeking to make fullness and completion in Gods charity palpable in our country. This story witnesses the triumph of love and perseverance.

Miguel Humberto Daz, former United States ambassador to the Holy See

In the Beatitudes, Jesus says that those who hunger and thirst for justice will be satisfied. Gay, Catholic and American is the story of one familys journey in that quest. Greg Bourke weaves in the struggle, fear and hope of the journey to be recognized as a family and a full participant in our society. He engagingly recounts the struggles, fears, and hopes of that journey that results in a compassion we can all learn from.

Simone Campbell, SSS, author of Hunger for Hope

Gay, Catholic, and American is a richly detailed memoir of Gregory Bourkes life. Throughout, the reader is struck by Bourkes conciliatory attitude toward his opponents, his unassuming tone, and his humilitydespite an impressive list of accomplishments and accolades.

Joseph Mello, author of The Courts, the Ballot Box, and Gay Rights

Greg Bourkes memoir combines his and his familys journey with the paths taken by the federal judiciary toward marriage equality, his local Catholic Church toward a warm embrace of gay and lesbian couples, and the Boy Scouts toward acceptance of openly gay scoutmasters. All heartwarming stories told with charity toward all, malice toward none.

William N. Eskridge, Jr., author of Equality Practice

Gay, Catholic, and American is a delightfully written journey of a fellow Notre Dame gay alum. I am proud to have played a small part in his journey calling for equal rights for the LGBTQ Catholic community.

Jack Bergen, ND 77, past chair of the Gay and Lesbian Alumni of Notre Dame and St. Marys College

Gay, Catholic, and American

GAY,

CATHOLIC,

AND

AMERICAN

My Legal Battle for Marriage
Equality and Inclusion

GREG BOURKE

University of Notre Dame PressNotre Dame, Indiana

Copyright 2021 by the University of Notre Dame

Published by the University of Notre Dame Press

Notre Dame, Indiana 46556

All Rights Reserved

Published in the United States of America

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021940099

ISBN: 978-0-268-20123-4 (Hardback)

ISBN: 978-0-268-20124-1 (Paperback)

ISBN: 978-0-268-20122-7 (WebPDF)

ISBN: 978-0-268-20125-8 (Epub)

This e-Book was converted from the original source file by a third-party vendor. Readers who notice any formatting, textual, or readability issues are encouraged to contact the publisher at

This book is dedicated to my husband and life partner,

Michael De Leon.

It is also dedicated, like all the rest of my life works,
to God who inspired it, and to the advancement
of the Roman Catholic Church.

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

Those of you who are to have the pleasure of advancing in these pages will see sketched out an account of nearly forty years in the life of a family. A couple who met, fell in love, realized that here at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh, welcomed children, and grew and prospered as they became stalwarts of parish life and scouting activities. They spent endless days and evenings in parenting, often helped by their siblings, taking the education and security of their children seriously, and sharing responsibility for their own parents as these grew old and dependent. Along the way they acquired a wide network of friends and colleagues as they found themselves taking part in huge social and legal changes in the life of their country. And they did all this as regular and loyal Mass-attending Catholics.

When stated like that, you might well ask why this should even be the subject matter for a book. How many thousands or hundreds of thousands of families have lived or aspired to live similar lives, and never bothered to darken a publishers door with their anecdotes? And yet what makes this a must-tell story is that the couple involved, Greg and Michael, are of the same sex. They were one of the couples whose cases led to same-sex marriage becoming legal throughout the United States. What they live and describe as a Catholic couple is something that ought not to be, but yet very obviously is.

The deep music of the Catholic Faith and the frightened screeching of its clerical (and clericalized lay) instrumentalists are often out of whack. Luckily, as the deep music grows and becomes more audible, it becomes possible to detect quite where the clerical notes are and are not in harmony with it. One of the areas in our time where that deep music is asserting itself, and those instrumentalists are screeching, is with relation to matters LGBTQ.

So, it is indeed one of the pleasuresand reliefsof the Bourke De Leon story to note how often ordinary Catholics at every level have been welcoming of them and their family from the beginning, with their own parents and siblings first, and then into parish life, including various forms of public parish ministry. Next, of course, during the majority of Gregs interactions with the Boy Scouts at the local level. What is anecdotal in these pages is confirmed time and time again by researchers, such as those of the Pew Foundation: the majority of Catholics have had little to no difficulty in seeing through official disapproval of LGBTQ people and of same-sex marriage. Such disapproval makes no sense once you work out that being gay or lesbian is just what some people are. And if that is the case, and we must love our neighbor as ourselves, then we must encourage them to flourish and contribute to flourishing, starting, like everybody else, from who they are.