Gregory K. Popcak - Then Comes Baby

Then Comes Baby is a delightful book for new Catholic parents, full of personal anecdotes and wonderful insights. But most of all, the advice and encouragement you will find is extremely useful in learning how to be the parents God has called you to be. What we like best about this book is that it addresses the new mom and the new dad with equal emphasis. Husbands and wives are together called to build a healthy Catholic family by having a strong faith walk. This book tells them what works when both parents, together, are uniquely aware of the design God intends for families when baby comes.

Dr. William and Martha Sears

Authors of The Baby Book and The Attachment Parenting Book

Then Comes Baby provides solid, hands-on help and rich Catholic guidance for parents on how to love their child deeply as they strengthen their love for each other. This book will help them become holy families.

Most Reverend Joseph E. Kurtz

Archbishop of Louisville

President of the US Conference of Catholic Bishops

God wants to fill the hearts of families with the fire of his love. Greg and Lisa Popcak show you how to open to that love through all the joys and challenges of welcoming a new baby. If family life is a gift, Then Comes Baby shows you how to unwrap and celebrate that gift in all its forms.

Christopher West

Author of Fill These Hearts

Then Comes Baby will help every parent rejoice in both the gift of new life and all the blessings and changes that come with it. The Popcaks articulate a practical vision of family life that is deeply faithful, extravagantly loving, and incredibly joyful. You can create the family your heart desires. This book will show you how.

Damon Owens

Executive Director

Theology of the Body Institute

Greg and Lisa Popcak remind us that in spite of our fears, God invites us to do the most important work in building a good and holy world: raising children. This wise and practical guide will help parents navigate the sometimes-challenging, often-uplifting work of parenting babies. More importantly, it will remind them to love every minute of it!

Tim and Sue Muldoon

Authors of Six Sacred Rules for Families

Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak

The Catholic Guide

to Surviving and Thriving in the

First Three Years of

Parenthood

Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible , revised edition 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, DC, and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All Rights Reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

____________________________________

2014 by Gregory K. Popcak and Lisa Popcak

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews, without written permission from Ave Maria Press, Inc., P.O. Box 428, Notre Dame, IN 46556, 1-800-282-1865.

Founded in 1865, Ave Maria Press is a ministry of the United States Province of Holy Cross.

www.avemariapress.com

Paperback: ISBN-13 978-1-59471-411-5

E-book: ISBN-13 978-1-59471-412-2

Cover image Thinkstock.com.

Cover and text design by Katherine Robinson.

Printed and bound in the United States of America.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data.

Popcak, Gregory K.

Then comes baby : the Catholic guide to surviving and thriving in the first three years of parenthood / Greg and Lisa Popcak.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-1-59471-411-5 (alk. paper)

1. Parenting--Religious aspects--Catholic Church. 2. Child rearing--Religious aspects--Catholic Church. I. Title.

BX2352.P68 2014

248.845088282--dc23

2014018892

Contents

Preface

Congratulations! Chances are, if youre reading this book, you either have a new little one on the way or you have recently given birth to or adopted a new baby. As excited as you are, you probably have a lot of questions and a lot of worries. If so, relax! Youre perfectly normal, and its going to be okay. We address many of your biggest questions and concerns in the course of this book.

When we first started our family twenty years ago, we really didnt have a clue what we were doingeven though, between us, we had degrees in education, counseling, and theology. That was all paper. This was real life.

Our Story

Lisa: When we first got married, we werent even sure wed be able to have children. I had a serious illness that medication kept under control but that would be fatal to any baby we conceived. When my condition improved three years later, we were so elated! Sadly, our excitement quickly turned to grief when we lost our first pregnancy.

Greg: We really struggled spiritually through that loss, but through it all, God challenged us to draw closer to each other and, more importantly, he challenged much of what we thought we knew about parenting. Up until that point, we hadnt thought that much about parenting. We assumed it would just come to us. I mean, Im a family therapist. I had good parents. I studied child development in school. How hard could it be?

But we hadnt spent much time considering what it meant to be a Catholic family. After all, we were Catholic, and we were going to have a family. What more could there be to it? Wed raise our kids the way we were raised, take them to Mass, teach them their Catholic prayers, and that would be that. Right?

Lisa: All that is a fine start, of course, but as we discovered, there is so much more for those who are open to learning what the Church has to teach us about the Catholic vision of family lifenot just family prayer life, but family life itself. Through the prayer and discernment that resulted from our grief over losing our first child, God showed us that he wanted to give us much more than we had even thought possible. We learned some very hard and some very beautiful lessons by praying through that time. And what we learned enabled us to be more sensitive, more responsive, and more invested in creating the kind of Catholic family we hadnt even imagined when we were first married. God let us know that he had a plan, not just for how he wanted us to pray together, but for how he wanted us to interact with each other and our kids in all situations.

Greg: When God did bless us with children, he gave us the grace to cultivate the kind of love, joy, and intimacy that he desires for every family. I can honestly say that God has taken us by the hand and taught us step-by-step how to build a family with the love that comes from his own heart. The practices we share in this book did not come naturally to us, but the wisdom God has taught us over the years led us to create a much more amazing family than we ever could have if we had followed our original plan. As in all things, God knew better, and in his generosity he blessed us with the most precious treasure possiblean unbelievably close, joyful, faithful family life. We are grateful to have the opportunity to share with you what God has taught us.

Lisa: It hasnt always been easy, and sometimes, like all parents, we wondered if wed have the strength for what God was asking us to do. But as hard as its been at times, the fruit has always been worth it. We hope that what you read will be a blessing to you and the family you have started together.