Jessica N. Turner - Stretched Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter, and Thrive

Recently, I listened to the audiobook of Joe Bidens Promise Me, Dad , in which he tells of losing his son to cancer. I dont think I have ever cried more while reading a book. I was so moved by the way the Biden family loved one another and served their son and brother while he was sick.

One of the things that struck me most was that Joe Biden was the vice president of the United States at the time, and his work didnt prevent him from being an amazing dad. He did his job as vice president well, overseeing international relations efforts, attending events, and so on, and he still was there for his son in his time of need. Moreover, his son was proud of him. He encouraged Joe in his work. As a working parent, I really connected with Joes discussion of managing work responsibilities and being actively involved in his sons cancer care. No matter what important situation was happening at work, his family came first.

His story made me remember an analogy I read in the survey I conducted. A mother shared this:

The best advice I was ever given was to imagine that my life was a juggling act. Some of my balls are glass, and some are rubber. I can drop the rubber balls and pick them up later, and they arent any different. However, if I drop a glass ball, it is broken foreverno matter how hard I try to fix it. The key then is to determine which balls are the glass balls.

And so, as we wrap up this book, I wonder, What are your glass balls? What are the things in your life that, if they shattered, would devastate you?

When you look at life through this lens, the answers are easy to see. I think most mothers would say that family is the most fragile and valuable glass ball. That is the ball we dont want to get so much as a hairline crack. If we juggle lifes responsibilities, paying the most attention to that precious ball, we will be okay.

As I think about the other balls weve discussedwork, self, home, marriage, friendsI think the answers become more varied for people.

In my life, people, including me, are glass balls. I know that I have to take care of myself so that I can be there for my loved ones. My own glass ball cannot crack. And I certainly dont want to drop the balls that represent my marriage and my friendships. Dropping those balls would be devastating.

But my house? Total rubber ball. My work? Though I sometimes treat it like a glass ball, it is made of rubber. A colleague once said to me, We are all replaceable, and she was right. I have learned to hold my job loosely, knowing that as much as I love it and take pride in it, my work does not define me.

In her song Legacy, Nicole Nordeman says it is nice when people say nice things about her but in the end Id like to hang my hat on more besides the temporary trappings of this world.

I like how she acknowledges that kind words and recognition can be nice, but at the end of the day, these are not the things that matter. Thriving as a working mother is about finding a rhythm for your life that deepens your relationships and enables you to feel fulfilled. For some working moms, this means making practical changes such as creating more organization in the home. For others, it might mean creating boundaries for work.

Motherhood is the hardest job any of us will ever have. When we layer a career on top of the calling of motherhood, things can be challenging at timesas we have discussed throughout this book! Embracing the following truths can ensure that you are thriving: