Lisa Whelchel - Speaking Mom-ese: Moments of Peace and Inspiration in the Mother Tongue

Lisa Whelchel
Speaking
mom-ese

Lisa Whelchel
Speaking
mom-ese

Moments of Peace
& Inspiration
in the Mother Tongue
from one mom's heart to yours

Speaking Mom-ese

2005 by Lisa Whelchel

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Thomas Nelson, Inc. titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

Scripture references are from the following sources: The Holy Bible, New Living Translation(NLT), 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois60189. NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE (NASB), 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971,1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. The Message(MSG), 1993. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. The Holy Bible, New InternationalVersion (NIV). 1973, 1978, 1983, International Bible Society. Used by permissionof Zondervan Bible Publishers. The Holy Bible, New Century Version (NCV), 1987, 1988,1991 by Word Publishing, Dallas, Texas 75234. Used by permission. The New InternationalReader's Version (NIRV ). 1996, 1998 International Bible Society. All rights reservedthroughout the world. Used by permission of International Bible Society

1My Utmost for His Highest: Selections for the Year. The Golden Book of Oswald Chambers. New York: Dodd, Mead & Co., 1944, p.211.

Cover Design: Brand Navigation, www.brandnavigation.com

Interior Design: Susan Browne Design/Nashville, TN

ISBN 978-0-7852-8930-2

Printed in the United States of America
08 09 10 11 12 QW 6 5 4 3 2

This book, like my original journal entries,
is written to and for my cyber friends.
I cant wait to live next door to
each one of you in heaven.

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is
as sweet as perfume and incense.
Proverbs 27:9 NLT

table of contents

thank you, thank you, thank you
(or Acknowledgements)

Steve, Tucker, Haven, and ClancyThank you for the sacrifices you make so that I may serve other families.

Laura Minchew and Integrity PublishingThank you for your patience as I attempt to balance being a mother with writing for mothers.

Criswell FreemanThank you for your exhaustive help and words of encouragement. I am honored to work with you.

Betsy HoltThank you, once again, for adding your magical touch!

Glenda MurrayThank you for believing that someone else would want to read this stuff.

Mary HollingsworthThank you for mining the nuggets and calling them gold.

Ron SmithThank you for being my defender and protector.

Mike Goldberg and LionZone Web DesignThank you for coming in many a weekend so I could serve a fresh Coffee Talk on Monday mornings.

Al and Tracie DensonThank you for allowing me to hole away at your beautiful ranch to write. You are truly hysterical givers.

Dyke and Raynayle FerrellThank you for the use of your adorable cabin to pray and edit.

hello, my name is lisa
(or The Introduction)

I ve heard a lot of great teaching in my life. Ive read a bunch of good books. Ive listened to some amazing pastors. But without a doubt, the words that have had the greatest impact on my life occurred during conversations at the kitchen table, talking to moms just like you. Maybe its because I know youre struggling with the same challenges Im facing. Perhaps its because your wisdom has been mined in the trenches of experience, not just read about in a book. Whatever the reason, Ive decided that moms really do know best.

Theres definitely some kind of sister synergy or mommy momentum that happens when moms get together to compare notes. We speak each others language. We can finish each others sentences. Weve been there, . (See? I bet you filled in those blanks with wiped that.) Moms understand each other. Sometimes I think English is our second language and our mother tongue is Momese.

Heres a little vocational vocabulary test I put together for fun. Dont worryif youre reading this book then Im sure youll pass it.

Define the following terms:

a. Binky

b. Pull-Ups

c. Nurse

d. Let down

e. Braxton-Hicks

f. Dora

g. Boo-boo

h. PB&J

i. Pampers

j. Wooden spoon

k. Permit

l. Cradle cap

m. Changing pad

n. Aspirator

o. Curfew

p. Goodnight Moon

q. The pink stuff

r. Breast pump

If you answered:

a. Disney character

b. Pectoral exercises

c. R.N.

d. Disappoint

e. Law firm

f. Italian entrance

g. Two ghosts

h. Rap artist

i. Indulges

j. Stirring utensil

k. Allow

l. Crib lid

m. Apartment

n. Dreamer

o. Time boundary

p. When your spouse turns over in bed

q. You have no idea

r. You dont dare answer

then Im not sure youll want to read this book. You just wont get it. On the other hand, if you answered:

a. Plug

b. Big girl panties

c. Got milk?

d. Filling up the bottle

e. Labor rehearsal

f. Spanish explorer

g. Excuse for an Elmo Band-Aid

h. Lunch staple (without the crust)

i. Budget buster

j. When time-outs dont work

k. A license to drive Mom to her knees

l. Dandruff without the hair

m. Thing you use on your mother-in-laws couch

n. Nose sucker

o. The only time Mom stays up later than her teens

p. Book you could read in your sleep (and have)

q. Amoxicillin

r. Dairy farm

then keep reading, cause youre going to love this book! In fact, youll wonder if youre reading your own autobiography. How do I know that? Because mothers know these things. We have eyes in the back of our heads, remember? And I can already see you laughing and crying (sometimes at the same time) as you recognize yourself inside the pages of this book.

These devotions are lifted directly from my life as a mom. They are snippets of my experiencesboth the good and the not so goodas Ive parented my kids from the demanding toddler years to the hormonal teenage years. To make this book feel more like a journal, Ive included a few blank lines after each devotion to give you the opportunity to Speak Mom-ese and then end with a two-way conversation between you and God. My hope is that these brief stories, thoughts, and prayers, which have been written especially for busy moms like you, will help you find support, encouragement, and even a few moments of rest.

I know how difficult it can be to find time to reflect and pray. When my kids were tiny, I had virtually no time to pour out my heart in my journal. Over the years, I have collected approximately fifteen journals, all with about a dozen entries in them that end somewhere around the middle of February. My husband, Steve, eventually bought a computer journal for me, which helped quite a bit. But the real breakthrough came when I began posting my journal entries on my website. Soon, my cyber friends began joining me for Coffee Talk, and now rarely a week goes by that I dont blog my joys and frustrations, hopes and fears. I can attest that the simple act of writing down my thoughts and swapping stories and prayer requests with my Internet pals has been a tremendous blessing. (And believe me, I need all the support I can get now that my kids are teenagers!)