Marcia A. Coné - Permission Granted: Changing the Paradigm for Women in Leadership

Permission GRANTED

Advance Praise

Marcia Cons Permission Granted taps the power of questions and introspection and uses them as springboards to careers and lives of fulfillment.

Susan Colantuono , CEO of Leading Women

Permission Granted is the antidote to limiting thoughts, the action plan for getting unstuck, and the motivational kick to get where you want to go in your life. A must read for women of all ages and life stages.

Leah DeCesare , Author of Forks, Knives, and Spoons: A Novel and the Naked Parenting series

In Permission Granted , Marcia Con has given us an accessible, down to earth guide for women who want to transform their lives. The pages are filled with sophisticated insight that will help women imagine a different reality for themselves. This is coupled with practical advice, a toolkit, really, to help women locate their inner confidence and realize their capacity to transform their own lives. Drawing on her own vast and impressive background as a change maker, Marcia Con speaks from having been in the trenches of leadership herself and has a genuine mission to help other women face their fears, trust themselves, find confidence, and reach their full potential. The book is a roadmap for women of all ages to getting what they really want in their career and in life.

Dr. Kim Miller, PhD , Professor and Coordinator of Womens and Gender Studies, Wheaton College (Norton, MA)

Permission Granted offers advice, inspiration and tactical tools for moving ahead in a positive direction for your career and your life. Not only that, the book gives the reader a firm reminder that she can have it all - whatever that means to her - and we all can use that reminder!

Tuti Scott , Founder and President, Imagine Philanthropy

Permission

GRANTED

Changing the Paradigm for
Women in Leadership

MARCIA A. CON, PHD

NEW YORK

NASHVILLEMELBOURNEVANCOUVER

Permission GRANTED

Changing the Paradigm for Women in Leadership

2018 MARCIA A. CON, PHD

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in New York, New York, by Morgan James Publishing. www.MorganJamesPublishing.com

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ISBN 978-1-68350-333-0 paperback

ISBN 978-1-68350-334-7 eBook

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016918418

Cover Design by:

Chris Treccani

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Interior Design by:

Bonnie Bushman

The Whole Caboodle Graphic Design

Editing:

Grace Kerina

Authors photo courtesy of:

Nuria Chantre

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For my daughters, Hannah and Sophia.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

Buddha

Have you ever had the experience of finding just the right thing, just when you needed it? Sometimes the right thing comes to you before you even know you need it. The right thing can be a person, course, book, speaker, or one of countless other experiences. The challenge is to be open to the gift when it presents itself.

So often, Ive found myself floundering, feeling frustrated, or complaining when the answer was nearby or right in front of my face. I just wasnt open to seeing, hearing, or believing, or wasnt ready to take the first step forward. From my own personal experiences, I know that when we are ready to implement change we become open to and begin searching for a catalyst to help us take those first steps, and then the next steps that naturally and logically follow. Before we know it, we are on the very path we once held ourselves back from stepping onto.

I know, I know really, I do know that moving from Im stuck. Im frustrated. Im not ready. Im afraid. I cant do this. I shouldnt do this to being open to change doesnt happen by simply waving a wand or making a wish. It does, however, begin with being willing to entertain the idea of taking that first step into curiosity into the what-if and how-can-I space. Entertaining possibility, that flicker of feeling that rises within you, is the key to being open to positive change.

So many times, the decision I knew needed to be made was one I sat on for too long, until Id made the transition harder than it needed to be. For example, knowing it was time to leave an organization or position, or that it was time to lay my cards on the table with myself and jump into the next phase of what needed to be done at the organization, but instead of doing it hedging about whether I was ready or not.

This game of hide and seek is one I seem to recall following me since childhood. Would I risk trying out for the lead in the play? Would I risk auditioning for glee club? What would happen if I left my job? How would I make ends meet? What would people, think, say, believe about me? What if I failed? But, even more so, what if I succeeded? What then? Eventually, I would get to the place where what I thought and, just as important, what I needed, became the most crucial factors in making my way toward what I really wanted. I learned to put one foot in front of the other and edge my way forward.

The process of making a decision to change is one that can take months, years, lifetime if we let the process run on without intervention. Without fail, every decision I held out on making for longer than I should have, and then made, resulted in my realization that I wished I had moved in that direction much sooner. In fact, I can say the only regrets I have are about decisions that I wish I had made sooner. My thoughts and fears about what lay on the other side of those decisions were usually only that thoughts and fears. I handed over the responsibility for my happiness, and for what I really wanted in life, to the thought gremlins.

Change and growth are innate and a necessary part of the human experience. Like the genetic wiring of a seed tells that tells it when it is time to grow; human beings have wiring that tells us when it is time to grow. Like with physical and reproductive maturation process, our bodies move forward because our genetic wiring tells us it is time and, whether we are ready or not, growth happens.

On social, emotional, personal, and professional levels, we have that same genetic wiring that tells us it is time for growth. The difference is that the human mind interferes with that process, allowing us to consider whether we are ready for growth. Albert Einstein is attributed with saying, The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the sacred gift.

Our internal wiring, often called intuition , gives us notice that it is time for movement leading to growth. We humans can develop a dangerous habit of repeatedly ignoring our gut instinct, believing our rational mind serves our best interests when, in fact, the rational mind can talk us into or out of almost anything. So, rather than paying attention to the nudge, we pay homage to the rational mind that whispers, Im not ready. Its too risky. No one has ever done this, or anyone who has done this has not succeeded, so I wont either. Unhappiness is the price Id pay for the choice Id make. Taking a risk is too dangerous. Staying safe and in my comfort zone is preferable and best, and on and on. We bury the sacred gift of our intuition until weve shut it down, and we do so to our detriment.