Danielle Jones - As Sure As Tomorrow Comes: One Couples Journey through Loss and Love

Chapter One

A s Christopher Jones and I headed into an Italian restaurant, we passed a group of high school girls dressed as though they were enjoying a night on the town before their homecoming dance. The cool November air gently brushed my face as I wore a smile. Chris, the only single man in my age group at our church, had asked me out the week before and now here we wereheading to dinner and a movie for our first date.

Welldepending on which one of us you asked, it was either our first or second date. The week prior, Chris had asked me to hang out with him at an arcade. We went to the arcade and played video games and pool, and since we were enjoying each others company so much, we ended up going to a nearby mall and walking around and talking. We stayed at the mall almost until it closed. At the end of that night, as he walked me to my car in the mall parking lot, I told Chris Id had a great time with him. His response was for me not to worry because wed be seeing each other againoutside of churchreal soon. I slyly smirked and drove off.

That very first night of us hanging out, I realized that for the first time sinceeverI felt like I could let my guard down around a mana potential boyfriendand just be my goofy self. I was so used to being professional at all times and always crossing every t and dotting every i that hanging out with Chris was refreshing. He was silly, lighthearted, and made me laugh the entire time we were out.

The days that followed our first evening together were full of Chris and I e-mailing flirtatious messages to each other. It started off with me being helpful and offering him some information he could use to write a paper he was working on for one of his college classes. Those messages turned into him asking me to go out with him on another date on the coming Saturday. I had told him repeatedly the time at the arcade and the mall wasnt a date. I mean, sure, hed asked me to spend time with him. And yes, Id agreed. And yes, hed paid for our game of pool. And yes, he had set up the time and place for us to meet. And yes, we were by each others side the entire night. But I needed him to know that no matter what he thought, that was not a date. He said okay and told me I could call it whatever I wanted to. He just wanted to know if I wanted to go out with him again. And if I did, I needed to be ready for him to pick me up at 6 p.m. Saturday.

So there we were, exactly one week after hanging out at the arcade, heading to dinner and a movie. As we passed by the girls outside the restaurant who were all donning tiaras like princesses, Chris turned to me and asked a question. Can I crown you my queen one day? His question completely caught me off guard. He had been flirting with me for six months leading to this night. Over those months, he had thrown just about every pickup line known to man at me, and this whole crown you my queen one day line was new and probably one of the best Id heard. Until then, Id prided myself on being able to flirt back with clever responses, but I hadnt seen that line coming. It is almost every girls dream to be some kings queen, and here we were on our first date and this handsome man was asking me to be his. Not knowing how to respond, I stared back at him, laughed a little bit, and (uncharacteristically) shyly said yes. And just like that, I was floating on air for the rest of the night.

About six weeks later, right after our churchs New Years Eve service let out, on January 1 Chris and I solidified our budding relationship. We sat by each other that night at church, and right after the clock struck midnight and people were leaving to go home, we decided we were going to be together. It felt right. It was the start of a new year and it was the start of a new beginning for both of us.

+ + +

For the next three years, we were inseparable. We cared a lot about each other. During this time, I was in grad school until 9:30 p.m. two to three nights a week. Every night I was in school, Chris would drive from his job across town, where he got off at 9 p.m., wait for me to get out of class, and make sure I made it to my car safely. On the nights I wasnt in school, I would make dinner and take it to him so we could have dinner together during the week. On nights when he worked overtime and wouldnt get home until midnight, I would stay up late until he called me to let me know he had made it home okay.

We spent just about every weekend together, and we talked every day. Plus, since we went to the same church, it was a guarantee wed see each other every Sunday. Neither one of us ever missed a service, and if we ever needed an extra reason to be at church, wed both found it in each other. We bought bikes and rode together on trails and through neighborhoods. We purchased tennis balls three packs at a time and rackets, even though neither of us knew how to correctly play tennis. Wed find any tennis court we could around town (it didnt matter if it was private or not), and wed hit our nine balls. Once wed lost them all, we knew it was time to go. Wed go to arcades and see how many tickets we could win, as if we were little kids. Chris would trade in those tickets for big prizes for me, and I would smile from ear to ear. Wed go to big-box superstores and play hide-and-seek in the aisles. We were happy just being together. I helped him become more serious about his goals, and he helped bring out the silly side of me. We loved each other, and everyone around us knew it.

From the time I was a young teenager, Id had in my mind the type of man I wanted to marry. I came from a two-parent household, and my parents had gotten married three years before I was born. I believed God would send me someone who Id have fun with, enjoy life with, and have a family with. Beyond that, I wanted to be with someone who, while dating, could honor the promise I wanted to keep. When I was fourteen years old, I made a promise to myself, God, my parents, and my future husband (whoever he would be) that I wouldnt have sex until I was married. I wanted to save myself for whoever that special person would be. When Chris and I started dating, I made it very clear to him that this was my personal belief and practice and that any man I was going to be in a serious relationship with would have to abide by my desires. Thankfully, Chris said that was fine. He shared with me that he wanted to be celibate, and since I was a virgin, our courtship would be sex-free.