Amy L. Gilliland - The Heart of the Doula: Essentials for Practice and Life

B eing a birth doula is one of the most complex tasks on the planet. Being successful requires a high degree of emotional intelligence plus self awareness, self control, physical ability, clear psychological boundaries, and professional ethics. Also needed are the ability to communicate effectively and negotiate conflict with clients and careproviders of all kinds. None of these things are skills that can be covered thoroughly in a birth doula training workshop. Doulas need a guide to help figure out how to navigate the medical system and make ethical choices when theyre in the midst of a complex problem.

In their workshops, trainers concentrate on passing along childbirth knowledge, physical support skills, and their own hard earned wisdom. They want the emotional guidance given to trainees to stay with them as they continue on their doula journey. This book reinforces the important principles that trainers try to impart in the short time they have with our participants. But it also goes further, showing how you as a doula can truly transform another persons life, changing it for the better.

Doulas are powerful. With our guidance, our clients become more empowered versions of themselves. They are able to grow and become more like the person they want to be. Thats part of being of service to another human being were there to assist and to guide after they have chosen the destination. In this same way, I hope this book will also help you to become the heart-centered doula that you want to be. While the written voice is mine, the wisdom is culled from over sixty doulas that I formally interviewed and the thousands who I have conversed with in my three decades of doulaing. The research is explained thoroughly in About The Study .

I truly believe that we serve best when we observe and get out of our clients way. We lead by following. We show up for them in a way no one else can. We dont leave. We dont have an agenda or preference. Our mantras are Its not my birth, and Its not my baby. We maintain an aura of detachment from their choices, but this also comes at a personal cost.

A doulas life is like no other. Our whole goal is to not be in control! We exist in the moment, mindful, in a breath. Thats hard work. Being in control, multi-tasking, taking charge those are all behaviors that get repeatedly rewarded in modern society. Doula work is the antithesis of constant hurrying and seeking control, so we dont get recognized for the supportive, nurturing skills weve been challenged to develop.

Caring skills are often dismissed as something anyone could do because most humans have the capacity to care. But that doesnt mean they develop their brains to really practice the art of caring well for others. We know that repeated practice of a skill causes growth in parts of the brain related to that skill. Based on that, I hypothesize that the brains of experienced birth doulas are different from people who dont practice these same skills. By supporting people at bedside during their births, our amygdalae become highly attuned to their biobehavioral cues, and are repeatedly bathed in oxytocin stimulating environments for hours and days at a time. Im willing to bet large sums of money that a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) study of doulas whod attended over a hundred births would show more highly developed brain structures used to recognize interpersonal cues, interpret the emotional content of others behaviors, and positively influence social harmony. (To read more, please see Carter, 2017.)

This book addresses a wide range of issues where doulas may need to make decisions. Some of those decisions can be very challenging to make. We find ourselves wondering, What is the right thing to do? What factors do I need to consider? Whose perspectives might I be missing? If there is a conflict, whose values do I honor? Sometimes there is no right answer, theres just a choice to be made and you will need to consider multiple points of view. This book offers you those perspectives, expanding around your own individual dilemma so that you can see what other considerations need to be taken into account.