Jacinta Tynan - Mother Zen

Books

Baby Love, Robin Barker

Baby Love, Rebecca Walker

Baby on Board, Dr. Howard Chilton

Bad Mother, Ayelet Waldman

Breastfeeding and Baby Matters, Lynne-McKensey Hall

Buddha Mom: the path of mindful mothering, Jacqueline Kramer

Buddhism for Mothers, Sarah Napthali

Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children, Sarah Napthali

French Children Dont Throw Food, Pamela Druckerman

Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering, Sarah J Buckley

Heart to Heart Parenting, Robin Grille

Helping Baby Sleep, Anni Gethin and Beth Macgregor

Intuitive Mothering, Lyn Macpherson

Mama: Love, motherhood and revolution, Antonella Gambotto-Burke

Mother Om, Leonie Percy

Parenting for a Peaceful World, Robin Grille

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to stop yelling and start connecting, Dr Laura Marrkham

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, John Gottman

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, Naomi Aldort

10 Mindful Minutes, Goldie Hawn

The Aware Baby, Aletha Solter

The Baby Book, Dr William Sears and Martha Sears

The Conscious Parent, Shefali Tsabary

The Continuum Concept, Jean Liedloff

The Optimistic Child, Martin Seligman

The Whole-Brain Child, Daniel J Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

Toddler Tactics, Pinky McKay

Up The Duff, Kaz Cooke

Why Love Matters, Sue Gerhardt

Websites

AhaParenting.com

Awareparenting.com

Attachmentparenting.org

Babybliss.com.au

betterbeginnings.com.au

betterdads.com

Drshefali.com

letthebabydrive.com

parentingwithpresence.net

Shebirths.com

yogamamata.com.au

To Jasper and Otis,

for opening my heart.

Thank you for choosing me.

Contents

When given six months to write a book (which with two small children and a job doesnt really mean six months at all but opportunistic snatches of time taken where possible), I had to swiftly get over my innate aversion to asking for and accepting help.

I am eternally grateful to the family and friends who stepped in minding the boys so I could research, write and edit Mother Zen. For a book about trying to make the most of motherhood while juggling all the other demands life throws at us, I was being challenged to live my truth. And I couldnt have pulled it off without you all.

Thanks to my sisters: Cait (who threw her kids and mine under the sprinkler and took them to feed the ducks when we came to stay, taking care of them and me for days, while I ducked off with my laptop), Ro (a precious afternoon with cousins) and Bubs (who one day minded eight children in one go!). And to Mum (My Maa to the grandkids) for taking time off work to spend with my boys (watering the garden, watching snails, walks to the park precious memorable moments), packing me off to the library. Stay as long as you need, youd say. With family it never feels like babysitting. Also Ticka and Justin (my sweet brothers), and my dad there always in spirit.

Same with friends, especially Alex Luffman who would ask almost weekly if Id like to drop the boys off at their place. It was supposed to be a swap arrangement but I have lost track of the credits. Also Bronwyn Curran, Michaela Francis, Lauren Hamilton, Lee Leggett and Daniela Anderson who offered more times than I took up, but the times I did I made good use of it.

Eternal gratitude too to the boys other grandmother Marilla (Mardi to them) for coming from Melbourne countless times, cooking, washing, brushing knotty curls, and stacking the freezer with ravioli to save me having to cook. I was overwhelmed by your thoughtfulness.

And to Liam for all the Sunday afternoons and a couple of writing weekends. Theres no one the boys would rather be with. Thank you for giving me the greatest gift ever our beautiful Jasper and Otis and for loving them like I do, a fellow witness to their unfolding lives.

About those weekends away: thank you to the Crawfords for the generous use of your beach house (an open fire as winter winds howled outside), and to Peter Brown for lending me your pretty home with sweeping views and no distractions.

Where would I have been without Lizzie ONeill, our delightful, engaging babysitter who Jasper and Otis adore like a big sister. Thank you, Lizzie, for entertaining them with your balloon animals and treating them with such care while I wrote.

Thanks too to the roll call of other babysitters who stepped in especially: Bruna, Claire, Bek, Hannah, Bri, Anna, Lauren, Phoebe and, on one memorable occasion where I could hear the squeals of laughter as I approached the house, Andrew Crawford. Even though Joy was no longer around when I started writing Mother Zen, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Joy, for loving our Jasper as if he was your own (that one afternoon a week). You contributed beautifully to his start in life.

Its not just minding children (or ravioli) that sustains a writer (although, my goodness it helps) but encouragement. And I had that in spades.

Thanks to Kelly Doust who convinced me there was a book in this and helped me write a killer proposal. And the other writer girls: Libby-Jane Charleston, for everything, writing and beyond; and Juanita Phillips, Lyn Macpherson and Karen Fischer for indulging me with my writing quandaries, always available on the end of the phone to brainstorm, finesse and bolster.

Writing a book is like a marathon (in this case it felt like a sprint) and I would never have made it without the countless other friends who supported me along the way, calling just to check in including: Lyn Yu, Bronwyn Curran, Amanda Blue, Fiona Macgregor, Lauren Rose, Emma Rosenberg, Nat ODea, Tansi McInerney, Sarah Wilson and Paula Roumanous (my hairdresser extraordinaire), a generous and regular captive audience to my progress.

Apologies to everyone in my life for all the unanswered texts, calls, emails and Facebook posts. I will catch up

Thank you Tim Brown: meditation teacher, mentor and friend, without whom there would be no story to tell because it was learning to meditate that changed everything for me.

Selwa Anthony, literary agent and dear friend, I am forever indebted to you for your love, support, encouragement, faith, and friendship. Thank you for believing in me and seeing whats possible (even when I cant) as a writer, and as a woman.

You told me youd found me the perfect publisher and so you did in the brilliant Jo Mackay who got this book from the get go (back when it was little more than an idea) grabbing onto it with great gusto and guiding me all the way. Jo, your timely jolts of encouragement were just what were required.

Jo, in turn, told me shed found me the perfect editor and so she did in Kate ODonnell whose insightful editorial notes spoke to me and guided me towards an enhanced version of what I had intended deeper, richer, braver. Thank you, Kate, for taking such care with my words, for seeing what I couldnt always see and, with gentle force, calling me to account as much as watching out for me. We havent even met (yet) yet somehow through words, you know me so well.

Huge thanks also to proofreader Russell Thomson who I also havent met but stunned me with his painstaking attention to detail, never missing a beat.

Photographer Stuart Scott: never work with children, they say, but you brought out the best in mine as you whipped out the guitar and warmed them up, ready for their cover shot.