Catherine Knox - Beyond the Baby Blues: The Complete Handbook for Emotional Wellbeing During Early Parenthood

BEYOND THE BABY BLUES

BEYOND THE BABY BLUES

THE COMPLETE HANDBOOK FOR EMOTIONAL WELLBEING DURING PREGNANCY AND EARLY PARENTHOOD

First published by

Jane Curry Publishing 2011

[Wentworth Concepts Pty Ltd]

PO Box 780 Edgecliff NSW 2027 Australia

www.janecurrypublishing.com.au

Second Edition Published by Jane Curry Publishing in 2014

Copyright Catherine Knox, Benison OReilly and Seana Smith, 2014

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any other information storage retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-publication data is available.

ISBN: 9781922190550 (pbk.)

Dewey Number: 618.76

Cover photograph: Getty Images

Cover design: Deborah Parry

Internal design: Midland Typesetters

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Cathie Knox:

This is the book that I was looking for when I was pregnant.

The creation of this book has been very personal for me and rather like a difficult pregnancy. I have always felt passionately about the outcome but the process has been longer and harder than I ever imagined. There are many people to thank.

Firstly to publisher Jane Curry whose sincere belief in this project has been inspiring. It has been Janes perseverance that has seen a dream of mine realised. Thank you for all your vision and encouragement. We have all benefited from the superb editing skills of Sarah Plant. To my co-authors, I have so enjoyed collaborating with such gifted writers. Creating this book with this group of intelligent women has been a privilege.

I am forever grateful to the professionals who have given their time so generously and provided support and insights, in particular Belinda Horton, a wonderful listener, and Professor Bryanne Barnett, my mentor on many occasions over the years. Thanks must also go to Prof Marie-Paule Austin, whose sharp mind is always appreciated, and psychologist Rebecca Dunn, for her fortuitous introductions and ongoing support. To the doctors, nurses, midwives, allied health workers and the many people I know working in the area of perinatal mental health, your support and friendships are valued.

Many mothers shared with us intimate details of their personal lives and bared their souls, revealing their innermost thoughts: heartfelt thanks for your honesty and support in wanting this book written. To my friend Simone, a special thank you for sharing your story. Gidgets death has left a lasting legacy which I hope will encourage other young mothers to start talking and persuade the wider community to listen.

Thank you to my dear friends who have shared the craziness of motherhood. In particular, Louise, Christina, Seonaid and Therese youve all been in for the long haul and are always there for a chat, a laugh or a hug.

To my beloved Vijay... what an amazing journey weve shared over the past 25 years. Your love and encouragement keeps me afloat.

To my generally gorgeous and sometimes outrageous children who have put up with a distracted (occasionally grumpy!) mother, you have taught me so much and made life so rich. Tom, Jack, Oliver, Hugo and Imogen, I love you.

Benison OReilly:

As the only one of this triumvirate never to personally experience anxiety or depression after having my children I am extremely grateful to our many contributors, both personal and professional, who offered me a window into these far too common disorders. Seana will do a more eloquent job of thanking you later.

However, I must single our four individuals. Two eminent perinatal psychiatrists Professor Marie-Paule Austin and Professor Bryanne Barnett provided us with not only support and guidance, but even some of their highly sought after words. Grateful thanks must also go to Dr Vered Gordon and clinical psychologist, Ms Wendy Roncolato, who offered their considerable expertise to me as reviewers.

A big thank you to my co-authors, Cathie and Seana, terrific writers and fabulous people all round. I thoroughly enjoyed our progress meetings, even if we spent more time gossiping about our kids than actually talking about the book!

Heartiest thanks to our publisher, Jane Curry, for yet again demonstrating that its possible to take on a difficult topic and create a warm and ultimately positive book. And where would we be without our editor, Sarah Plant? I always feel better about my writing after Sarah has cast her meticulous eye over it.

Finally, love and kisses to my children, Matthew, Nicholas and Sam, and ever-patient husband, James, who have put up with me writing yet another book and not earning any income during the process. I promise to write a bestseller soon and shout you all an overseas holiday on the proceeds!

Seana Smith:

Cathie is quite right in writing that publishing a book is very much like pregnancy and birth, and this one had a particularly long and exhausting pregnancy, luckily it had a less traumatic delivery.

With twelve children between us, we three are pretty busy mums, and it really was a huge effort to put this book together. Thanks Benison for your care, energy and expertise as well as your lovely writing style, and Cathie for bringing knowledge, passion and conviction to this project. We did it, whew.

Fortunately, and indeed crucially, we were not alone. Many, many people helped us, and did it with great warmth and enthusiasm. This book needed to be written and many people went out of their way to make it happen.

Id like to thank psychologists Rebecca Dunn and Wendy Roncolato, as well as Tresilians experts Margaret Booker and Lisiane La Touche.

Many thanks to all the people whose generosity and assistance were invaluable, especially those who answered our questions and submitted themselves to interviews in many formats.

Not all of our contributors thoughtful and courageous interviews and ideas are used in these pages, however each and every one was of immense value to the writers. Sincere and heartfelt thanks for your input: Melanie and Paul, Jen Bartlett, Nicole Batagol, Jeanine Beveridge, Heather Bunting, Rosemarie Dale, Richard Evans, Lara Fitzgerald, Alisoun Garrard, Lyndsay Hendry, Judi Huxedurp, Tamara Isterling, Belinda Jack, Adele James, Dr Mataji Kennedy, Jayne Kearney, Simone Leo, Zara Mokrzycki, Kirsten Janet Mudie, Natasha Logan, Lisa Noone, Lauren Osbourne, Danielle Parker, Pam Parkin, Lisa Rachele, Leanne Schultz, Simone Short, Shirley Sneddon, Linda Stephens, Anne Stokes, Mary Tawaza-Lim, Emma Walsh and Charlotte Wilsey. Thanks also to those contributors who prefer to remain anonymous.

A big personal thanks to my sisters Morag Smith and Mairi Stones, its wonderful to mix up motherhood and childhood in the way only sisters can.

Huge thanks as ever to Paul, who lived through some dark days of early fatherhood, yet came out the other side with his sense of humour intact.

Im going to break with tradition here and let it be known that no thanks are due to my children! Christian, Dexter, Iona and Jamie did their utmost to distract me, mess up the house, demand food, cuddles and a taxi service throughout the writing of this book. I guess they were just doing their job, which is to be children; I hope I can keep doing my job of being their mother as well as they do their job of being my kids.

Before we start an important note about terminology

Its likely that most of you are familiar with the term postnatal depression. However, with the growing recognition that depression occurs almost as commonly during pregnancy as afterwards, some experts now prefer to talk about perinatal depression. Peri means around, so perinatal depression encompasses both