Contents
Guide
PHOTOGRAPHY
ALEX FARNUM
ILLUSTRATIONS
DIANA HEOM
Lazy
Brunch
Brunch should be an official American holiday. For us, its a weekly
tradition that encourages sleeping in late, eating in pajamas, day drinking,
and slathering butter, syrup, gravy, and jam across every inch of your plate.
If you host pot-luck style, youll be stocked with leftovers for the week and
in close proximity to your couch for the rest of the day.
B
ackyard Grub
For summertime nirvana, all you need are good drinks, some quality meat,
and a spot to grill. Identify someone you know with a pool, then ingratiate
yourself by offering what they most need: meat for grilling and booze for
drinking. Bring over the grub and a 12-pack every time and youll be golden.
No friend with a pool? Make nice with whomever you can find with a great
yard, roof deck, patio, or lake access.
N
ight
I
n
Were just going to come out and say it: This chapter is about sex.
Yes, its about food too, but if youve decided to invite someone over
to cook dinnerjust you and that one personyour goal probably
isnt to nail the dish perfectly. And regardless of your kitchen skills, it
becomes a win-winmake good food, and youre the sexy chef; ruin
the recipe, and youre the adorable gave-it-your-all cook. Your date is
already in your apartment, which takes care of navigating through
the awkward car goodbye. Basically what we are saying isif you
cant make this work, you are hopeless.
Sweet
S
tuff
It seems like every food reality TV show is about a bakery. (Who knew
there was so much drama involved in baking cupcakes?) But it makes
sense. When tempted properly with the right option, everyone is
able to make room for dessert. If youre looking for something crazy
decadent and rich, or a lighter fruitier option, weve put together some
of our favorites. And coming from two guys who would take another
piece of meat over a slice of cake any day, thats saying a lot.
D
inner
P
arty
Your first dinner party may have dissolved into a full-blown rager instead
of being the classy adult affair you dreamt up. But like a fine wine (and
not 2-Buck Chuck), your dinner parties will get better over time. These are
our go-to recipes for having a group of people over. Dont overthink it, or
waste time trying to channel Martha Stewart. None of your friends give
a shit about napkin holders. Just keep it simple, have your guests bring the
booze, and put on some Motown. People will be begging you to host again.
M
idnight
S
nacks
Were really hungry when we get off work after midnight and often looking
for that certain something to hold us over before heading out drinking,
collapsing in front of the laptop, or crawling into bed. These snacks can
be made any time of day, but the point is these recipes are fast and use
ingredients you probably have lying around. So if you need to eat RIGHT
NOW, these recipes are where its at.
What do you most look forward to when you get up in the morning? Going
back to bed as soon as possible? Me too. I have a California king bed and
man, its like a cozy little spaceship where Im the cozy little spaceboss. The
second thing I look forward to is eating. And when I say eating, I dont
mean mere sustenance. I mean I like to push my stomachs needle into the
red and strain my pants suspension. Did I mention Im part car? Well guess
what? Its 2012 and cars eat ham now, so shut up. While I may be a glutton,
Im a discerning glutton. Ive lived in New York, Paris, or Los Angeles my
whole adult life and my taste buds have matured sexily.
Over the last few years Ive taken up cooking for myself, my family,
and anyone else who isnt afraid to watch me eat. And since anything
worth doing is worth doing well, especially if its going in your mouth, Im
excited about this book. Ive deemed it worthy of the title The Belly Bible.
(Ed. Note: Everyone, including the authors, felt this was a very bad idea.)
Its common knowledge that cooking and eating are dangerous; people die
every day cooking and/or eating. Thats why you need a guide to help you in
your kitchen. With the Sussmans, you get two guides, so youre actually half
as likely to die with this cookbook as you would be with any other cookbook.
And the Sussmans are brothers, who probably sleep in their moms pantry
in bunk beds made out of big cheese wheels and salami. But thats their
business; what we do know is that theyre good at designing ridiculously tasty
meals that are easy to prepare, even if youre stupid, drunk, or Maroon 5.
Flip through this bookwithout eating itand take a look at the grilled
meatball sandwich, the pulled pork, and the chocolate
peanut butter pie.
Look at the simplicity of the recipes. You want it, dont you? OKyou
can lick it. Lick the book. I wont tell.
Once youre done licking the book,
use it. Make these dishes and eat them. Youll be happy you did.
rob delaney
FOREWORD
are brothers, who
Sussmans
THE
probably sleep
IN BUNK BEDS
made out of big
cheese
wheels
and salami.
in their mom
s
PANTRY
Well be totally honest with youwe are completely, unabashedly obsessed with food. We
even have a chalkboard in our apartment to keep a running list of restaurants we want to try.
One of us has food ordering nightmares and the other has delusional daydreams of creating
the worlds greatest sandwich. Food runs our professional and personal lives (debating where
to go to eat on our days off often dissolves into courtroom-style drama with deliberation
and each side providing evidence) and, truly, we wouldnt want it any other way.
Were all about experiencing the unknown, and trying new foods is our favorite way to
learn about other cultures. We totally get that some people arent super-adventurous
and may need a push to try new foods. This cookbook is that push away from frozen food
lunches and dinners from a national chain. This book is going to show you how to cook
new ethnic dishes, try a flavor combination youve avoided, and learn new techniques
youve only witnessed on TV.
Everyone likes to be fed and cooking is a vital skill to have. Taking stand-alone ingredients
and transforming them into a cohesive dish is an ability that will never cease to blow
peoples minds. Weve taken everything weve learned in our 10+ years of cooking and
simplified it big time. Our book is going to help you create straightforward and tasty food
for your girlfriend/boyfriend, for a group of friends, or just for yourself.
Dont let a small kitchen be an excuse (we recipe tested and photographed 45 dishes for
this book using two little burners). If theres enough space for you to stand in the kitchen,
you can cook this entire book. Weve done it allputting a cutting board over the sink,
