Kenn Bivins - 39 Lessons for Teens

39 Lessons for Teens by Kenn Bivins - - - - - for the 15-year old version of me and all teenagers thereafter I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me.
Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man love & laugh forever Being a teenager is hard. Hormones, homework, arrogance, inexplicable angst and outside influences are the bane of their existence and can tax your relationship with them. Ive been on both sides of that coin, both as a teen and as a dad. I understand. If you have a teenager in your life, you may benefit from this addendum to what youre already teaching. love and laugh forever, Kenn Bivins You matter - - - - You, your voice and your presence matters. love and laugh forever, Kenn Bivins You matter - - - - You, your voice and your presence matters.

The world has more hope with you in it. Dont compare yourself to others - - - - Youll never discover who you are if you measure your value by the stature of others. Honor who you were meant to be and spend your time celebrating your unique talents, voice, traits and purpose. Take your time - - - - Childhood is a very short season. Dont be in such a hurry to grow up. You have the rest of your life to be an adult.

Love yours - - - - Learn to love the life that you have, love the person in the mirror and be thankful for what you already have. This is temporary - - - - Whatever painful or uncomfortable thing youre dealing with, know that it will eventually pass. Acne is not forever - - - - One day, your skin will clear up, just as those problems that make you want to run away from your life. It will get better. The Internet is forever - - - - Nothing lasts forever, but the Internet does. Be careful of what you post and publicly share.

Even though you may delete it, it will forever reside on a server or in a database for someone to someday access. Do something today for the first time - - - - Trying new things encourages a healthy mindset. Celebrate yourself - - - - It doesnt have to be your birthday for you to honor who you are and your accomplishments, big and small. Drink more water - - - - Odds are youre probably not drinking enough water to offset the sugary snacks and fried foods you love so much. Drink more water. Wash your face - - - - Practicing good hygiene is not only good for your appearance, but its also important that you present the best version of yourself.

Be clean, be neat and dont stink :) Wash your space - - - - A clean body doesnt wear dirty clothes. By the same token, your environment informs what is in it. The appearance of your environment can affect your mindset. Your body is your own - - - - No one has authority over your body but you. Poverty is often born of unprotected penises - - - - Becoming a parent prematurely and while youre still a child increases the likelihood of a difficult life - financially and otherwise. If you are having sex, use condoms.

With sex comes responsibility - - - - The only safe sex is no sex. There is a great deal of responsibility that goes with physical intimacy, including the risk of pregnancy, unwanted diseases and emotional insecurity. Sex is not equal to love - - - - Love is about selfless, mutual respect and wanting what best for one another. Sex, outside of love, is simply for physical satisfaction that more often leads to low self-worth and diminishes self-respect. Save some - - - - Enjoy life, but dont spend all you have at once. This is regarding money, time and yourself.

Saying thank you is not the same as being thankful - - - - Say what you feel and feel what you say. Sarcasm is not a language - - - - Dont mistake a sense of humor with a form of communication. Sarcasm can be confusing, mocking and insulting to the listener whos not in on the joke. It also weakens communication skills. Respect - - - - Command respect from others just as you choose to give respect to them. Adults are not perfect - - - - Theyre human too, just a little bit older.

Be patient with them. Theyre likely doing the best they know. Get to know your parents - - - - You can discover a lot about yourself by learning who your parents were when they were teenagers. Find a mentor - - - - You will go further and with less frustration by going with someone who has walked the same path before. A mentor is someone who is trusted, mature-minded and a cheerleader all rolled into one. Show. dont tell. - - - - Let your verbs be your words. - - - - Let your verbs be your words.

Dont just talk about it. Be about it. Let your yes be yes and your no be no - - - - Keep your word and fulfill your promises. Dont offer a promise that you dont intend to keep. Follow through. Help out - - - - Dont wait for someone to ask for your help.

If you see something that you can assist with, just do it. The feeling that results from helping others is invaluable. Learn how to count - - - - Make a difference that is. Find your purpose and flourish there. Everyone you will meet will know something you dont - - - - Approach others with a sense of wonder, respect and curiosity. You dont know it all - - - - No matter how smart you are, you will always have something to learn.

Dont be arrogant with the knowledge and expertise that you do have. In five years, what happens in high school wont matter - - - - What youre stressing about today wont matter so much tomorrow. Study. prepare. plan. - - - - Always.

In school and in life. A job is for loose change - - - - Work hard, but be aware that there is more to life. A career is for life change - - - - Invest in working hard at something that you love and therein, you might find both purpose and happiness. Someone does understand you - - - - Youre not the only one going through what youre going through. You are not alone. You are not the only one.

Depression and anger should be expressed - - - - Dont be ashamed of your feelings. You have the right to them. Write, draw, sing, play or do whatever constructive thing to cope. But above all, talk to someone. When were sad or angry, we dont think clearly. Get help.

Sing, dance and play air guitar - - - - Have fun. Life is short. Make your own kind of music. Listen - - - - The world around you is saying so much. Listen to what is said as well as what isnt. Watch - - - - There is so much to see.

Pay attention to the little things and the behaviors in the space you occupy. Seek God always - - - - Whether you know God or not, continually seek for answers. You are the dream. Discover the dreamer. Other books by Kenn Bivins
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39 Lessons for Black Boys & Girls
39 Lessons for Girls
39 Lessons for Boys
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the Wedding & Disaster of Felona Mabel
Pious

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My own father was absent, but I refused to let that color the type of influence I would have on my sons and with my goddaughter. The teenager phase of parenting can be tough. In the next few bonus pages, I want to share some observations that may give you, as a parent, strength that I lovingly call 4 Lessons for Former Teens. Bonus 1 be patient - - - - You werent always the most respectful. You didnt always listen. Once upon a time, you may have even been self-centered.

But then you grew up. It will happen with your teen, as well. Bonus 2 be there - - - - They may act as if they dont care about what you have to say or your presence, but they do. Be physically and emotionally present because they will indeed need you to be. Bonus 3 be smarter - - - - Your child navigates in spaces that you need to be knowledgeable of. The whole world has access to them through digital technology.

Dont be afraid of it. Bonus 4 be patient - - - - And Ill repeat it because hormones, arrogance, inexplicable angst and outside influences will tax your relationship with your child. This is a phase. They will eventually grow past it. Be patient. the significance of You may be wondering, Whats the deal with 39? Why wasnt this book called 101 Lessons or something like that? 39 is just odd.