Doris Christopher - Come to the Table: A Celebration of Family Life

Copyright 1999 by Doris K. Christopher

All rights reserved.

Warner Books

Hachette Book Group

237 Park Avenue

New York, NY 10017

Visit our website at www.HachetteBookGroup.com

First eBook Edition: March 2010

ISBN: 978-0-446-93076-5

This book is dedicated to my husband, Jay, and to our daughters, Julie and Kelley, in honor of the memorable meals we have shared as a family. And to our parents, Jane and Edward Kelley, and Maxine and Walter Christopher, whose steadfast commitment to family was what first brought us to the table.

Bringing a meal to the table often takes the work of many hands. It is no different creating a book. The work of many hands, minds, and hearts are the key ingredients in Come to the Table.

Sincere and profound thanks go to Nancy Shulins, whose dedication to this project never wavered. It was wonderful to collaborate with you, Nancy.

Thanks to all of you who shared your family mealtime memories and traditions in the pages of this book. I believe your reflections will inspire families around the world to create and celebrate their own mealtime traditions.

A special thanks also goes to a wonderful group of people who came to the table to help me with this project: Thanks to everyone at Warner Books: to Diana Baroni for you and your teams belief in Come to the Table and for your keen eye and sure hand in the editing process; to Jamie Raab for supporting our efforts all the way; and to Heather Fain, Diane Luger, Karen Torres, Elizabeth Hurley, Harvey-Jane Kowal, Thom Whatley, Stacey Ashton, Chris Barba, Julie Saltman, and all who worked to make this book a reality. A special salute to the Linda Chester Literary Agency: to Joanna Pulcini for your infectious enthusiasm and nurturing of this project, to Gary Jaffe for your energy and support and, of course, Linda Chester, for your vision and encouragement. Thanks to our team at The Pampered Chef, Ltd.: to Jane Edwards, vice president of communications and consumer affairs, a sincere thank you to you and your team for your creativity, leadership, and vision. And to our Kitchen Consultants who help busy home cooks make mealtimes quick, easy, and fun: You are an inspiration to me!

S ome people preserve memories in quilts made from scraps of old baby clothes, others in snapshots they paste into scrapbooks. I store mine in oak at one end of my kitchen, perched on a pedestal and surrounded by chairs. The table: when I look at it, I see my life.

I see my ninety-year-old grandmother in her farmhouse kitchen following a recipe that exists on no page, mixing unmeasured ingredients for the sugar cookies Ill never quite manage to duplicate. I see my mother rushing to the sink in the kitchen of my girlhood, a hissing pressure cooker in her outstretched hands. I see velvety raspberries still warm from the sun on the table of our Michigan cottage.

I see all this and more as I look at my table, my own private home movie coming to life in my minds eye. Endless images project on the screen of my mind: my two older sisters bending over their homework, my father savoring stew on a cold winter night. The reel turns slowly at first as my parents and siblings give way to my husband and daughters, my mothers gray Formica to my golden oak. Im a girl, then a teenager, a young wife and mother, and then a mother whose girls have grown up.

Fashions and foods change along with the faces. Mothers pot roast morphs into my lighter, healthier tenderloin, her Southern fried chicken into my low-fat boneless chicken breasts. But other things dont change with the generations. For instance, like my mother and grandmother, I still come to the table to connect with the people I love.

Round or square, mahogany or oak, the table is the heart of every home, the nucleus of domestic life, where we pay bills and wrap presents, fold laundry and toss mail. When the chores are done and daylight is fading, the work table becomes the dinner table, and as we gather around it, we, too, are transformed. No longer separate and solitary, we regain our identities as part of a much greater whole: We become a family, sharing not just our suppers but also ourselves.

It is here, at the table, that we rejoin the pack, in a timeless ritual. Surrounded by the people who matter, gazing into the faces we love, we count our blessings and share our burdens, reliving the daily dramas of missed buses and skinned knees. We raise jelly glasses and champagne flutes, toasting accomplishments in classrooms and boardrooms. And over homemade casseroles or haute cuisine, relatives become loved ones and acquaintances become friends.

The table is where we mark milestones, divulge dreams, bury hatchets, make deals, give thanks, plan vacations, and tell jokes. Its also where children learn the lessons that families teach: manners, cooperation, communication, self-control, values. Following directions. Sitting still. Taking turns. Its where we make up and make merry. Its where we live, between bites.

Some families today have lost sight of the table and its timeless ability to transform. Rather than focus on one another, they gather around the television. It saddens me to think of all the thoughts gone unspoken, the achievements uncelebrated, the lessons unlearned. When I look at my table I think back to all the late nights I spent sitting in my bathrobe, listening to my daughters accounts of their dates; reading the Sunday paper and discussing world affairs over coffee; bolstering shaky egos or soothing small hurts, salving the wounds that accompany growing up. I recall the countless joys and sorrows, the laughter and tears that come with being part of a family.

Some of my happiest memories at the table dont involve dinner at all, like helping my children with their homework, wrapping Christmas gifts, playing board games or bridge. It isnt to say that the meals arent important; after all, theyre what most often bring us together. Some have been memorable, some not. But either way, its the coming together, the sharing, that matters most, be it for fast food or the fanciest feast.

Needless to say, life today moves at a much faster pace than it did in my grandmothers day. Like most women today, Im a juggler of family, home fires, and career. Maintaining a healthy balance is hard at times, and like most women, I dont always succeed. Ive come to see it as a lifelong challenge, a fact of life, pure and simple. We all struggle to bring our lives back into balance, only to watch ourselves lose it again. But each day brings a new chance to start over, a new opportunity to reconnect.

Much of what I know about keeping my balance I learned from my own working mother, Jane Kelley. With three daughters, a husband, and a full-time job, she still managed to cook us all dinner, a nightly triumph of efficiency and organization. She was the original make-ahead cook, forming meatballs today for tomorrows spaghetti, browning Mondays beef for Tuesdays Swiss steak. More hearty than elaborate, her recipes were nonetheless delicious. And these meals accomplished one important thingthey brought us to the table for dinner as a family.