Jon Smith - Blokes 100 Top Tips for Surviving Pregnancy

Jon Smith, 2006

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted or otherwise be copied for public or private use, other than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews, without prior written permission of the publisher.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781401907921 in print
ISBN 9781848507173 in epub format
ISBN 9781848507166 in Mobipocket format

DEDICATION

To Lisa
Thank you for continuing to put up with an eijit

To Alia and Ronin
Thank you for being the most beautiful children in the world

CONTENTS

Pregnancy really is a scary word for us blokes. No matter how much we want to have children, when the news is confirmed, we get scared. Our fear isnt irrational, or a sign of weakness and therefore proof of our unsuitability as fathers. Far from it, some fear is healthy it means we are involved emotionally with what is going on around us and inside our partners body. Were scared of a lot of things, not least the unknown. Will our baby be healthy? Will our partner be all right? Will I be OK? Thankfully, youll all get through this, one way or another. Pregnancy can also be a lot of fun, if you know what to expect. Its nice to be prepared.

You may be wondering why I called this The Blokes Top Tips to Surviving Pregnancy after all, what is there for a bloke to survive? Surely its the poor woman who has to go through all of the physical stresses and strains? And theres many a woman who would happily clip you round the ear for even suggesting that pregnancy is as trying a time for the blokes as it is for the girls. But even though its different for us, its still an emotional roller-coaster I hope these tips will help you through some of the highs and lows. The 100 tips are set out roughly in the chronological order in which youll need them. Ive divided them into the three trimesters each trimester lasts roughly three months. Some tips you will use, others you wont. The pregnancy your partner is experiencing is as unique as you are, and as unique as the child she is carrying. Do what you feel is right at any given time because it probably is right. Refer to this book as and when you need to. These tips are mainly there as guidance, so you dont make the same fateful mistakes as those who have gone before you.

So, how do you use this book? Dip in, dip out or read it from start to finish in one sitting. It really doesnt matter. Most importantly, enjoy your partners pregnancy and enjoy your new baby who is only a matter of weeks away

Good Luck and Congratulations!

Jon Smith

Not everyone reacts positively to such life-changing news. No matter what your immediate reaction is (how about Help!), try not to respond negatively. It would be more worrying if you werent worried its a blooming big life change. In a strange way, worrying is a sign that youve taken on the enormity of the change youve just created a new life! Think before you speak and remember that worrying can actually be positive it can help you focus on the task at hand and prepare you for fatherhood.

Well done. The result has come through. You knew you could do it and you were right! Enjoy that elation and dont let anyone rain on your parade. Be proud and start preparing yourself for what is to come in the next few months. The pregnancy may be hard on you both, but whatever you do, dont ever let on to your wife that youre suffering as much as she is! Moving forward in a positive frame of mind is going to make things easier all round.

No matter how scared, worried or downright petrified you are about the birth of your child, know that it will all be OK. Youre not the first and you certainly wont be the last to be reduced to a quivering wreck by the prospect of impending fatherhood. You can afford this baby; and yes, your car is suitable, as is your house or flat. You will be able to change a nappy and bath a child. Life as you know it will not end once the baby is born (although you might spend a lot more time in the park than you did before).

Fear of the unknown is completely logical and natural. You might feel that you are about to spontaneously combust but remember that these emotions hit thousands of people every week. They all survive. The fear will pass.

Many women experience morning sickness during the early weeks of pregnancy (though the label is misleading as it can strike at any time of day). Its due to all the pregnancy hormones swilling around your partners body and there really isnt a lot that you can do to help, although offering to clean up the mess and giving sensitive back rubs will be very much appreciated. Oh, and hold off asking for a night of unbridled passion theres absolutely no chance, mate. It really isnt your cooking. Promise.

However, although morning sickness is one of the biggest clichs of pregnancy, along with bizarre food cravings, there are some women who never get sick. So dont worry if your partner doesnt experience any of these symptoms. Every pregnancy is unique.

Best said man to man, which is a fantastic excuse for a great night out. However, dont expect your mates to be particularly helpful or supportive. Their reaction may well be one of pity rather than celebration. Nod and smile to all the predictable references to dirty nappies and no sleep. You know they love you, really.

More than likely your parents will be over the moon with the news of a grandchild. However, be prepared sometimes the shock of a first grandchild can be overwhelming. Be sensitive to the fact that your news can be hard-hitting you are confirming that they are getting older and you have finally grown up, all with one simple sentence. When they do get used to the idea, you will be swamped with gifts and advice, some useful:

Keep baby warm with lots of layers

and some not:

A good smack to keep them in line; it didnt do you any harm.

Be prepared for some jealousy. If you are the first to have a child, you may inadvertently cause them to reassess their lives. If they have children too, then you are now in an ongoing competition with them as regards your childs ability, looks and temperament. Look out for the signs from the moment you announce the news: